Update -Please help - Miscarriage

Update: I am scheduled for a D&C this friday. At least the timing is good as I will have the weekend to recover and DH will be here.
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I cannot believe I am posting this I had my second doctor's appointment this afternoon and there was no heartbeat - there was a strong one at my last appointment but the news was different this time. I am so shocked. I have two kids already and I was confident I would have no problem having a healthy pregnancy this time around but I was wrong.

I was 10 weeks today.

As I am not bleeding they have given me three options and I have no idea what one to take so I am hoping you ladies might share your experiences with me and maybe give me some advice as I have no clue what to do.

1) Let my body end the pregnancy naturally which could take up to 4 weeks from now.

2) Take some meds which will cause me to miscarry and this should take about 48 hours - I think.

3) Have a D&C

Sorry if these details are not 100% accurate but I am in a fog.

I am still nursing our 22 month old at night so both the meds option and the D&C are going to cause some problems as he wont be able to nurse for a 24 hour period which will be really, really difficult.

How are you supposed to go on with the day to day normal things and not let the world know that your heart is breaking as I have not told people outside my family that I am pregnant

TIA

Message edited 5/25/2011 12:01:31 PM.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I have also had a few miscarriages. They were all 10 weeks or earlier. I've only had a D&C for one of them (the others passed on their own) and honestly, the surgery route was the easiest way for me. I was not nursing at the time, so that would definitely be a major factor in your decision. Could you pump enough for that 24 hour period? If that is a feasible option, I would get the d&c. The doctor will then be able to ensure that your uterus is clean and there isn't any lingering tissue left behind.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

Given what I went through with a mc at 11 weeks, I would definitely opt for a D&C.

6 months later I was still dealing with the after effects.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

Thanks for your replies and so sorry for your losses.

I know I am probably kidding myself but do you think there is any chance that the doc just missed the hearbeat. She did seem very thorough but she is a new doc at this practice and now that I am more calm I can see that I am only 9 weeks 3 days today.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a VERY similar story to yours. We had a heartbeat around 8 or 9w... and then around the 10/11w mark we no longer had the heartbeat. I never bled or any of that. It was a missed miscarriage.

I was also given the same exact options as you... though I had one more... to have the D&C in the hospital while asleep or to have it in the dr office with a pain killer.

In the end I chose the D&C at the hospital. I figured it was the easiest way to not have to actually "experience" anything... since I'd be asleep and I wouldn't be miscarrying at home or where ever I was randomly weeks later. I was also told that you can miscarry naturally and then possibly still need a D&C if everything doesn't come out. And the final reason I chose this option was for the genetic testing they offered if I did it in a hospital setting.

I think everyone chooses a different option for their own personal reasons... and no option is better than the other etc. It's just what you prefer to do.

I'm soooo sorry you are going through this ordeal. it's definitely very devastating, depressing and traumatic. For me it was easier to have people actually know what I was going through rather than no one know I was even pregnant. it gave me a support group of sorts.

Again, I'm soo sorry. Prayers to you.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

My doctor recommended I have a D&C because the waiting for a miscarriage to happen naturally can be torturous-I was 10 weeks along but the baby stopped developing at around 5.5 weeks, so my body wasn't recognizing that the pregnancy needed to end. He also said that the D&C was controlled and to miscarry naturally was an uncontrolled bleed and could cause complications. I chose the D&C and I have to say the procedure was no problem at all. I experienced no pain, I had very light bleeding for about a week and half and everything has been fine since. I am so sorry for your loss.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

I am so sorry... i would definitely do the D&C... i had a natural m/c and i received Cytotec and STILL needed a D&C... its quick, its easy, they give you pain killers....

as far as your son nursing.... i think his missing 1 feeding from you is at least a controlled thing by you... if you go natural or use meds you might miss more than 1...

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

Thanks SO much everyone. Its so helpful to hear your stories even though I am so sorry that you have a story to tell.

I think I am leaning towards a D&C now ......how soon after you knew you were miscarrying did they do the d&C and were you in and out of the hospital the same day, how long was your recovery etc.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

D&C Experiences....

&

this one too

check out these two threads... lots of us described our experiences...

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've had 3 mc- the 1st two I had a d&c and the third I mc naturally. I definitely preferred the d&c

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss
I opted for a D&C with conscious sedation. I don't remember anything about the procedure and honestly, prefer it that way.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a d&c for a missed miscarriage 5 weeks ago and I was nursing my 16mo old ds at the time. I was 9 weeks when I had the procedure the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. I too was shocked I had no spotting or lessened symptoms in fact had morning sickness that didn't completely go away until over a week after the d&c. I nursed ds 2-3x/day during the week but only once at night before bed, he sleeps through the night. The anesthesiologist told me it was a "light" anesthesia and to try and wait 24 hours but if I needed to nurse earlier it would probably be ok (more technically), he said there was little excreted in bm. I had the procedure at 9am and waited until the following morning to nurse. If you get the d&c in the hospital you will speak to the anesthesiologist.
The worst part of it was waiting the 4 days from the time of the missed heartbeat to have the surgery. It was over very quickly and I woke feeling very calm. I had mild bleeding and cramping afterward. The emotional healing took far longer than the physical. I was fine to work the next day but took 2 days off. I found it hard, as someone else posted, to have suffered a loss while everyone though I took a couple of days off. We hadn't told anyone- we were waiting for this doctors apt.
Feel better soon. Please give yourself time to heal. I'm so sorry.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

I've had both a natural miscarriage and a D&C. From my experience with both, I would have to say the natural miscarriage was by far, worse than the D&C. Needless to say, I have had three D&Cs in total. Also when you have a D&C it is easy for the Dr. to take a tissue sample to send it out for genetic testing, etc. It's a farely quick out patient procedure.

I have never had any side effects from the D&C either and AF returned to normal shortly after.

I've always had the D&C within a week of finding out that there was no heart beat. Your Dr. should do another sono on the day of as well.

I do think it is a decision you need to make with the support of your family. It is very emotional and you will need time to heal physically and emotionally.

So sorry that you've had to experience this. Sometimes when you open up, you will hear how many women who have had miscarriages or know someone who has.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

Thank you and thanks for the links to the other posts - I couldn't find anything when I searched for D&C earlier.

Now I am wondering whether to be put out or to be numbed up and conscious. I am terrified of something happening to me if I go under general anesthesia but also wondering how awful the procedure would be if I was conscious.

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

Re: Please help - Miscarriage

so sorry you are going through this. I too would opt for the d&c..my overall experience was good, all things considered. It's a fast procedure.
I was completely put out, i think as long as you going to a reputable hospital to get it done, everything will be fine.
Good luck with everything.

Re: Update -Please help - Miscarriage

Oh no, I am so sorry to read this.

I had a natural miscarriage but if I were you I would opt for a D&C. It took me 6 weeks to pass everything, and it was torture to be in a holding pattern for so long.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Many hugs!!! This board is a wonderful place to come for any help you will need, the girls are absolutely fantastic, I learned more through them then from my own doctor!

Message edited 5/25/2011 1:48:28 PM.

Re: Update -Please help - Miscarriage

I know this board has been awesome the past 24 hours. I dont know where else I would have gone as thankfully none of my close friends have suffered a miscarriage.