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Jess2
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/05 471 total posts
Name:
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Dilemma
Some of you may know my history. I have had 4 miscarriages, with 2 of them being in the 2nd trimster. The first one at 20 weeks was caused by fibroids and my placenta broke, and the 2nd big loss at 23 weeks was from an incompetent cervix. I just got over having tongue cancer (do not smoke, drink, very random) with surgery and radiation. I have been told to wait a year to try fertility treatments again.
So now that I have been forced to wait, I keep thinking about what our next step should be. I keep going back and forth about maybe using a surrogate or being on bedrest for an entire pregnancy. Not sure what to do. There is just so much heartbreak I can take you know? Not sure what I am looking for by posting this maybe just some input, thanks.
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Posted 1/14/13 11:15 AM  |
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Melissa1013
My sweet boy
Member since 1/08 1933 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Dilemma
First, I'm so sorry for your losses.
Sounds like you should talk to your doc and have a chat. And if you're not 100% comfortable with your doc this would be a good time to find a new one.
Have they mentioned doing a cerclage for a future pregnancy?
I wish I had more advice -- best I can say is for me, I'd use this time to research my options, speak to my doc and have the best plan and team for when you're able to move forward with ttc again.
Good luck!
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| Posted 1/14/13 12:15 PM |
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asecretmommytobe09
My little pumpkin is here!!!!
Member since 10/08 3369 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Dilemma
I'm sorry sorry for your losses. I have an IC as well had a loss at 21 weeks and I then had my son. I got a cerclage. That is something you should def get. Also you need a high risk OB/GYN that specializes with this. If you have any ?s FM me.
Good luck!!!!!!
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| Posted 1/14/13 1:13 PM |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1800 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dilemma
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| Posted 1/14/13 8:11 PM |
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Aly764
Isla Grace born on 11/15/13 <3
Member since 6/12 1021 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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Re: Dilemma
First of all I am so so sorry for everything you have been through/ are going through. I cannot even begin to imagine how painful it must be to go through all those losses and then get cancer basically out of nowhere.  You are a very strong woman.
I don't even know what kind of advice or input I could give you, except I think you can't go wrong with getting second and third opinions. But first and foremost, you need to do what's best for you and your health. Even if that means waiting a year.
I truly hope that everything works out for you, and some good news will come your way soon.
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| Posted 1/15/13 11:11 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Dilemma
This is so hard... One thing I can tell you about surrogacy, it's very expensive and can take a LONG time to find someone and get the process rolling. By the time you would find someone, you would basically be at the point where you could try on your own again.
You've been through a lot and only you know what you are capable of handling, but I think second opinions would be helpful. Where do you live? I would absolutely see Dr.Kofinas in Garden City (a high risk perinatologist). He specializes in issues with the placenta and keeping people pregnant. What's important here is you KNOW the reasons you had problems in your other pregnancies so doctors will be able to help you.
When I chose surrogacy, I saw it as someone taking my problems and fixing them for me. I never considered the possibility that I would just go on to have MORE problems (my surrogate's lining) .. and the cost is just astronomical. These are just things to consider...... In theory, surrogacy is awesome, but in reality it's not a quick fix. I'm on bed rest now at only 8wks but ya know what? I couldn't be happier.
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| Posted 1/16/13 9:24 PM |
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Jess2
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/05 471 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dilemma
Thanks so much. I live in NJ. I was going to someone from Columbia Presbyterian when I had the 2nd loss. They are supposed to be one of the best but after this loss I want to find a new doctor. So I would need someone in NYC or in NJ. Thanks so much again for everyone's input and hugs.
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| Posted 1/18/13 2:30 PM |
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Jess2
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/05 471 total posts
Name:
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Dilemma
Sorry to revive this thread, just been thinking about this alot lately. Am I crazy to want to try again after everything? My husband does not want me to put my body (or my emotions) through it again. I will be 39 soon so time is of the essence you know? I just do not want to have another loss. Plus I need to find a good doctor to give me a cerclage in NYC or NJ (if anyone has any recommendations)> Thanks.
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| Posted 3/7/13 3:33 PM |
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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Re: Dilemma
Posted by Jess2
Sorry to revive this thread, just been thinking about this alot lately. Am I crazy to want to try again after everything? My husband does not want me to put my body (or my emotions) through it again. I will be 39 soon so time is of the essence you know? I just do not want to have another loss. Plus I need to find a good doctor to give me a cerclage in NYC or NJ (if anyone has any recommendations)> Thanks.
If you have IC please look into getting a abdominal cerclage...most obs and MFMs do not advocate it but it will get you about 95% chance of carrying to full term...a vaginal cerclage is 75% to get you to viability which is 24 weeks...do some research and you will see...there is a group called abbyloopers and it has tons of information...I am having surgery at the end of the month with dr. davis in NJ and he is one of the best drs in the country...there are only a handful that are the best around...fm me if you have any questions...athe 3 best doctors in the country dr. davis(nj), sumners(indiana) and haney(chicago) all do free phone and email consults
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| Posted 3/8/13 10:01 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Dilemma
Posted by Jess2
Sorry to revive this thread, just been thinking about this alot lately. Am I crazy to want to try again after everything? My husband does not want me to put my body (or my emotions) through it again. I will be 39 soon so time is of the essence you know? I just do not want to have another loss. Plus I need to find a good doctor to give me a cerclage in NYC or NJ (if anyone has any recommendations)> Thanks.
I do not think trying again is crazy at all!! We went through a year of surrogacy when we decided to go "back to basics" and do another IVF cycle and now things seem to be going pretty well!!!
All I can say is, you have the time off now before you can start trying, I'd go for other opinions. I highly recommend seeing Dr.Kofinas who has a ton of experience seeing the most high risk cases, especially those with an incompetent cervix. Your cervix would be monitored every other week, or weekly, depending on if they see it shortening/funneling/etc. He's one of the very best out there and sees patients who have some pretty wild histories.
I absolutely would sit for a consult with him to see what he has to say, and don't ever think that any desire to try for a baby is crazy. After all you've been through, I'm sure the desire is even stronger.
eta: Dr.Kofinas will do a cerclage or works with OBs who will do it. His practice has had tremendous success with these issues. 
Message edited 3/8/2013 11:20:58 PM.
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| Posted 3/8/13 11:18 PM |
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beachmama
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 599 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: Dilemma
I also highly recommend Dr. Kofinas. FM me if you have any questions.
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| Posted 3/12/13 12:07 AM |
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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Dilemma
FYI - Kofinas does not advocate the abdominal cerclage.
True IC can change within a week or 2. I went from having a normal cervix to nothing in 2 weeks. If you have IC seek out a dr. who will perform an abdominal cerclage. Its worth it!!!
Message edited 4/5/2013 2:44:31 PM.
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| Posted 4/5/13 2:44 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Dilemma
Posted by mama2b
FYI - Kofinas does not advocate the abdominal cerclage.
Do you know his explanation why not?
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| Posted 4/6/13 10:36 PM |
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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Re: Dilemma
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by mama2b
FYI - Kofinas does not advocate the abdominal cerclage.
Do you know his explanation why not?
This is from the website:
At KOFINAS PERINATAL we have shown that abdominal Cerclage belongs in the history books and not in the operating room.
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| Posted 4/8/13 12:39 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Dilemma
Posted by mama2b
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by mama2b
FYI - Kofinas does not advocate the abdominal cerclage.
Do you know his explanation why not?
This is from the website:
At KOFINAS PERINATAL we have shown that abdominal Cerclage belongs in the history books and not in the operating room.
Thanks, I was curious, although that still doesn't explain WHY that's the case. To the OP, I'd def see Dr.Kofinas and if you're interested in this procedure and it's obviously something he doesn't do, I'd question his reasoning and see what he suggests! He has helped so many with this problem!
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| Posted 4/9/13 12:05 AM |
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Jess2
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/05 471 total posts
Name:
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Dilemma
Thanks guys. I have been in contact with mama2b's doc via email but I am not there yet - I need to wait until 1 year after my treatment to start. Columbia's office has a doc that does the abdominal cerclage as well and I was thinking when the time comes I may go to her for an opinion. I live in NJ so seeing a doc on LI is a bit difficult.
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| Posted 4/9/13 8:20 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Dilemma
Posted by Jess2
Thanks guys. I have been in contact with mama2b's doc via email but I am not there yet - I need to wait until 1 year after my treatment to start. Columbia's office has a doc that does the abdominal cerclage as well and I was thinking when the time comes I may go to her for an opinion. I live in NJ so seeing a doc on LI is a bit difficult.
I would just be sure to seek out opinions from ALL perspectives. I mean no disrespect- but I would just be weary of a procedure that is only done by a handful of drs in the country and one that dr.Kofinas is obviously opposed to. I'd at least want to see him at least once to hear him out before surgically altering something in my body. At least then you know you are making an informed decision with information from both sides. Of course this is just my opinion. Best of luck!!
Message edited 4/9/2013 12:38:49 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/13 12:38 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dilemma
I have to agree with PennyCat. Dr Kofinas has an office in Brooklyn as well, which may be easier than his Garden City office. As someone who went thru over 8 1/2 years of infertility, & multiple miscarriages, I would definitely be open to all sides and know that I went in making the best decision that I could based on as much info as I could get my hands on.
I almost lost my boys a couple of weeks ago and truly believe they're still with me because Dr. K did my emergency cerclage.
Regular cerclages can be done before you get pregnant. I don't know enough about abdominal cerclages to make a decision but i will say based on what I know about dr Kofinas if he's not doing them- there's a reason for it. It sounds like you have time to research this before you make a decision- it definitely can't hurt to hear both the pros and cons to both sides. I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever decision you make brings you much success.
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| Posted 4/9/13 12:51 PM |
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Jess2
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/05 471 total posts
Name:
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Dilemma
Thank you. Definately going to try and so some more research on this before I go forward. Just want to know that maybe there could be some hope for me.
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| Posted 4/9/13 1:04 PM |
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