Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

let's say you were at a birthday party for a friends child. After food and cake, the men all go outside to smoke cigars and your DH asks you if you mind. You say "no, but don't be too long please". He spends almost 2 hours out there. Would you be upset? Keep in mind you're in someone else's house with toddler twins (2 years old) and a 6 month old. Chasing after the twins everywhere while holding a 6 month old. This is what happened to me Saturday night. DH and I fought about it after we got home and he doesn't see that he is wrong. While i told him i don't midn that he hangs out with his friends, when we are at someone elses house he should have at least came in and asked if i was ok and if i needed help. It was a rough night for me and he just doesn't see my point of view. He compares it to me going out on a sunday to take my baking classes while he is home with the 3 of them. Which is completely different in my eyes. I'm not leaving him at someone elses house with all three kids. Mind you, these baking classes are 1 day a week for 4 weeks and after the course is finished, i don't sign up for the next course until a few months later. So it's not like i do this all the time. Am i wrong? Because lately, we've been fighting A LOT about the fact that i don't get help and he doesn't see my side of things. All we do is fight lately. Maybe i'm just over exhausted......

Re: Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

He is completely WRONG.
2 hours? I'd kill DH.

We went to a BBQ at DH's friend's house this summer. They don't have kids so there was nothing for my twins to do and I was holding my infant. I wanted to murder DH every time he had to go in and pee. Watch out for the grill. Don't knock the food table over. No, you can't pick the flowers. NOT FUN!

Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

Thanks! I thought maybe I was over reacting. It's tax season, he's a CPA, we're both super stressed. But during the week it's just me. DH works late until tax season is over. I pick th kids up after work, do dinner, baths, bedtime routines by myself. Right now the twins r in bed and the baby won't let me put him down. I haven't eaten dinner myself yet, my living room is trashed, and DH thins that because he's busting his butt for this family, it's acceptable to do what he did this weekend. I have no problem with him hanging with the guys. But when we're at someone else's house, I need help! We've been fighting A LOT because I feel unappreciated and he thinks I'm over reacting. I get no help and not even a thank you for doing all I do. It's all about the fact that he's working and he doesn't see my point of view!

Message edited 2/25/2013 7:47:34 PM.

Re: Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

I only have the twins now but he is wrong!! I would kill DH!
He doesn't do as much as me when we are out but he is well aware of how angry I will be if he doesn't help or if he disappears for a long time. If we are inside I always send one of the kids to "go find daddy"

I am sure you are fighting a lot because of tax season. He is stressed and your are stressed. Men don't handle stress as well as we do and think they need a break more than we do.

Hang in there

Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

Thanks! We are both definitely stressed with tax season being here and it's never affected us like this but it's tough with three little ones. April can't come fast enough

Re: Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

I only have the twins, but what you have described is NOT ok. My wife is home with them all day. and I totally understand her have some "her time" when we are out. but neither of us should have to juggle them alone on a sat or sunday, unless it was completely discussed first and definitely not at someone else house

Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

Thanks! I wish he had the same mentality as us!! I know he's working hard and he needs his time, but I'm a FTWM of 3 under 3 and its rough. Just because he is AT work doesn't mean that I'm home after 5 doing nothing with the kids. I need my time too. But I rarely get that and I hate complaining about it because I love my kids, but I need a break sometimes. I really hope things change come April. I have no problems with him going out if he wanted to, but when we are at someone else's house it's a different story! We have another party this weekend for another one of his coworkers kids. Luckily I get along great with their wives and when we get together we enjoy hanging out, but when I have to chase after the twins with a baby in my arms, it becomes not so fun for me. I am hoping this weekend is different!!

Re: Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

YES I would be so angry! Whenever we go to a birthday party now, I have DS who is 3.5 and I am 7 mos with HE KNOWS that he is in charge of Tommy...and he smokes too so when he goes out for a cig (gross) he lets me know but he is back in a few minutes. I am sorry that happened to you that is not cool

Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

I totally agree, that was pretty messed up. It is also a huge pet peeve of mine because DH does that to me all the time. We *only* have the twins. When we are out at peoples houses especially his families houses, I expect him to at least take over one toddler. He was not as good about it before, but he is getting better.

Things get super stressful around here too. DH works 5-6 days a week and he is out of the house up to 16 hours a day. Then he takes guitar lessons and goes about his business when he is home. The next month is going to be rough for me since my mom is in FL and Dh is going on overtime. He is actually sleeping at his job tonight because he is doing a double shift and has to be back to NYC at 7am so he can either spend the extra 3 hours sleeping in his office or commuting to and from. So he will get 6 hours of sleep between shifts. The money is good but man it is rough.

We fight a lot more now too. Actually, I get mad and he just brushes it off and goes about his business. Thus making me madder.

Message edited 2/27/2013 7:33:59 PM.

Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

Thank you ladies! He did this to me when I was pg with DS this past summer. I was livid having to chase after the twins while 8 no ths pregnant! He's great a lot of the time but when we are out and he's around his buddies, it's a whole new ball game. I'm dreading this weekend since we have another party for another co-workers child. I'd like to spend some time with the wives while he chases after the kids. It also doesn't help that we get no alone time. We have absolutely no one we can have come sit for us while we go out. No one who is willin to anyway. Only his brother and his brothers wife and they have their own baby so we only ask if its absolutely necessary.

Those of you with twins and another DC, trips, or just multiple kids in general. Does your DH help you?

I'd be pissed! When you are anywhere else but your house it is way harder to care for your kids. My DH recently smartened up and he is always around to help or never to far away and checks in. This is reasonable and not asking too much!!