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lovelife
LIF Infant
Member since 9/13 137 total posts
Name:
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parents of teens need opinions
My DS is in high school and is a very friendly, well liked kid. He is friendly with a lot of kids but he really doesn't ever have plans on the weekends with anyone. He is more of a homebody I guess and seems happy most of the time. He has always been a little more shy (not where its a problem just not as super outgoing as other kids). He's not a kid to follow what everyone does so I'm wondering if the kids in his grade are doing things he's not comfortable with (drinking, etc). My feeling is as long as he has kids that he sits with at lunch (which he does), generally seems happy go lucky , he's doing well in school..im not too worried. The problem is that my Dh is. He talks about a lot which than makes me anxious where normally I wouldn't be that concerned. Yes I wish he hung out with friends more on the weekends but honestly I'd rather that he's a homebody than out getting into all kinds of trouble. FYI he does play a school sport so everyday after school he's with the team.
I guess I'm wondering if I'm being too lax about it and missing something here. I'm very close to my son so I do think I would realize if he was upset or down about his social life in any way but than again im mom and jes a teenage boy so who knows.
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Posted 4/4/14 6:12 PM  |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
I don't see it as a "problem" as long as he isn't bothered by it. But I also think it would be good to maybe encourage him to make more social plans. Ask him if he needs a ride to the movies and that you'd be happy to pick up John on the way. Ask him if he wants to have a friend over for pizza one night.
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| Posted 4/4/14 6:25 PM |
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
He sounds like a good kid. In fact, this is a lot like how I was in HS. I did have lots of plans but my parents somehow were able to shelter me a lot from the kids who partied and got into trouble.
When I was out from under their wing, I came out of my shell. I don't think it was to the point where it was a problem, but I did get a little wild when I was in college. Reflecting back, I made some decisions that could've ended me up in some bad situations. And yes, usually alcohol was involved.
It's tough because no one wants to encourage their kid to get involved in those types of things as a teen and they probably should not. I know this is not coming out how I want to say it.......
I guess what I'm trying to say is that he sounds like he is doing just fine. And keep the lines of communication open.
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| Posted 4/4/14 7:05 PM |
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
Have you spoken to him about this? Maybe he is afraid to ask if he can do this ot that or go here or there with other kids?
My dd is on a lull with going places and sleeping over girlfriends houses. She has a boyfriend so she hangs out with him, not a lot, so she is home most of the time outside of school and sports. She used to never be home before her boyfriend.
She also has made good choices and does not hang out with the "bad" kids. Some of them used to be friends with her too until they started drinking and doing drugs. I would rather have her home on the weekends instead of just going from party to party doing things that can get her in trouble.
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| Posted 4/4/14 9:04 PM |
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lovelife
LIF Infant
Member since 9/13 137 total posts
Name:
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
Posted by nferrandi
I don't see it as a "problem" as long as he isn't bothered by it. But I also think it would be good to maybe encourage him to make more social plans. Ask him if he needs a ride to the movies and that you'd be happy to pick up John on the way. Ask him if he wants to have a friend over for pizza one night.
He really seems fine to me. We do encourage him and he does try. Sometimes a few of them will go to a movie but that's about the extent of it. Otherwise hes home but honestly he seems ok with it.
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| Posted 4/4/14 10:23 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
My nephew is a junior in HS, and is the same way. Has a handful of friends, and does some things with them, but is home most of the time. He seems happy, and is doing well in school. I think it is fine for your DS to be this way.
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| Posted 4/5/14 2:19 AM |
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lovelife
LIF Infant
Member since 9/13 137 total posts
Name:
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
Posted by pharmcat2000
My nephew is a junior in HS, and is the same way. Has a handful of friends, and does some things with them, but is home most of the time. He seems happy, and is doing well in school. I think it is fine for your DS to be this way.
Thank u! I agree with this I just wish my dh would let it go because he's making me doubt my feelings about it.
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| Posted 4/5/14 8:21 AM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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parents of teens need opinions
My daughter is 15 (9th grade) and the exact same way as you describe your son. Only this year has she asked to hang out at friends houses after school on fridays and go to the movies twice. She is on kickline, has her friends that she talks about often, texts them, sits with a group at lunch, walks home with a few other kids, etc.
I am glad she isnt out looking to do whatever like I was at her age!
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| Posted 4/6/14 4:30 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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parents of teens need opinions
Honestly, he sounds fine. My brothers were the same way growing up. I think he is just a late bloomer and will come out of his shell when he is ready. As long as he's not spending an excessive amount of time alone in his room, I wouldn't worry.
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| Posted 4/7/14 9:42 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
Posted by lovelife
Posted by pharmcat2000
My nephew is a junior in HS, and is the same way. Has a handful of friends, and does some things with them, but is home most of the time. He seems happy, and is doing well in school. I think it is fine for your DS to be this way.
Thank u! I agree with this I just wish my dh would let it go because he's making me doubt my feelings about it.
My stepson just turned 16 (10th grade) and is very similar. He's a great kid and very friendly. He has a couple of close friends that he will do things with sometimes, but not every day or even every weekend. He is involved in extra curricular activities and is well liked by other kids. He is very happy and I don't think he feels like he is missing out on anything. Often DH and I do things with him on the weekends and he is happy with that (at least for now lol). I do sometimes wonder if there are parties and things like that that he is missing out on, but if he is content and doesn't feel like he's missing out, then that's really all that matters.
I also sometimes think that kids today are much more "islolated" than we were. I rarely see kids hanging out in our neighborhood the way we used to (and there are quite a few kids his age taht live near by). Seems like everything is much more structured and planned - even for teens. Not sure if that has a lot to do with it, but just an observation.
I wouldn't worry and I'd try to talk to your DH about it - different kids have different types of social lives. As long as your son is happy, and not feeling bad about himself, then I don't think there's anything to worry about.
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| Posted 4/7/14 10:24 AM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
Leave it alone! DH and I were the same and we avoided lots of troubles.
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| Posted 4/7/14 1:15 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
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Re: parents of teens need opinions
I was, and still am such a homebody. I never went out to the "roller rink" in HS when everyone else did. never went to parties. It had nothing to do with not having friends, I had plenty. There was absolutely nothing wrong. I just preferred to be home chilling quietly instead of out having to be "on and social". Im not unfriendly either, just an introvert and to this day still prefer sitting at home with a good book and a glass of wine than going out with friends.
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| Posted 4/7/14 2:23 PM |
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lovelife
LIF Infant
Member since 9/13 137 total posts
Name:
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parents of teens need opinions
Thank u so much for your replies. I need my dh to stop getting on his case though because I do feel he's the one giving my son a complex when I feel my son truly is OK! My dh was a social butterfly in high school and says to my son its all part of the experience of high school. Honestly I was the same way but that doesn't mean my son needs to be. He's doing great in school, seems happy most of the time, is involved in sports so I'm happy. Plus he happens to enjoy spending time with family. I need to have a talk with my dh about this. Again thanks for helping to validate what I had been feeling ?
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| Posted 4/8/14 10:03 AM |
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