Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

Hi All,

I have an opinion question. MY DH and I are planning to wait and not find out the sex of the baby until he or she is born.

I want to know more than he does. My DR called last night with the results of my Maternit tests and he has the sex of the baby determined.

I didn't find out but I kind of want to. I will not without DH being on board finding out with me, but I am curious as to what everyone's thoughts are to finding out and your DH not finding out and living with knowing the sex alone!

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

To be honest I think it will be really tough for your DH to not find out if you know. We considered this and now that we have found out I always refer to the baby as 'he'. It is almost second nature to refer to the baby as whatever gender it is IMO. I also remember when my SIL was preggers and found out, my inlaws didnt want to know what it was and eventually they found out what it was because SIL slipped with 'he' one day.

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

I think it would be super difficult for only one of us to know. Knowing my big mouth, I'd probably say something. In the beginning I widn't want to find out but he really did, and after talking about it we decided to find out so it all worked out. But there was a time we discussed just him knowing and I just couldn't do that, I knew at some point during pregnancy someone would say something.

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

I'd probably slip, so if DH didn't want to know, I wouldn't be able to find out either... that said, we both want to know.

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

I'd definitely slip, But i also think one of the fun parts of finding out is decorating the room and buying clothes and gear, so it would be hard for me to stay gender neutral with everything and to not spoil the surprise for DH.

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

WHAT ABOUT FINDING OUT BUT NOT TELLING DH YOU FOUND OUT?!?!?!?

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

Message edited 7/10/2014 2:31:38 PM.

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

There's no way I could do that... I'd slip at some point and say "he/she" instead of "baby". It would be unintentional, but I KNOW it would happen.

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

We found out the gender at 12.5 weeks from verifi. We told family at 21 weeks. As far as they know, we found out at 17 weeks and confirmed at 19 weeks. It was very easy to keep it a secret when they thought we didnt know. It was not so easy once they knew we did. Luckily DH was on board with finding out both times so it wasnt an issue, but if I was ever in this boat I would lean toward finding out but not letting him know (and letting him have his enjoyment thinking we were all surprised) and me having my knowledge. I feel like thats the only way I would be able to keep it a secret

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

to answer the original post, i'd probably slip at some point.

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

Slipping aside I think it would drive DH crazy if you knew and he didn't lol I think its either you both find out or neither

Re: Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

What's the point of finding out unless you pick out gender specific stuff? I just feel like when you guys discuss things like names, you'll obviously care about one gender more than another and he'll figure it out. I think it's a both know or no one know situation! I needed to know with both kids!

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

To me, it's something you both have to agree upon to do together. If not, there would be too much stress about not slipping up on your end or not reading into every little thing on his end. I wasn't sure I wanted to find out with our first but DH really wanted to so I went with it and we found out. Now with our second, I was more set on not finding out and he was fine with it. I would talk together about the pros and cons and try to agree. If you plan to have more children you can always try the opposite in the future to get both experiences.

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

I found out over the phone when the nurse called to tell me the results of my Panorama Test. I brought home a bunch of balloons to tell DH. I had planned on waiting for the next doctor apt. a week later, but the nurse was like oh you said you wanted to know the sex...and just told me. DH was ok with it, I think simply because he couldn't wait to find out.

Thoughts on Finding Out Gender without your DH?

It really depends; we tried this. I didn't want to know...DH did so during the anatomy scan the tech told DH pointed made a notation on the screen; and I just looked away. It didn't work for us though. DH kept slipping; AND didn't get the concept of just keeping the news to himself. He told his work; his family! It kept coming up and it ruined the surprise I wanted so either you both find out or you don't.