Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

My twins are 3 in a self contained 12:1:2 classroom (2 separate rooms). They just started 3 weeks ago. There are moments when I just want to cry. One of them has had such bad behavior lately, hitting his little brother, pushing him down, trying to bang his head on the floor, and he laughs when he is scolded. He doesn't care. We have tried every punishment in the book. It's like he doesn't get it. I tried to explain that hurts him, etc. I have tried everything and am at my wits end.

I asked DH maybe he's just not "getting it"? He thinks this is just tortorous 3's and my son is a wild child (which he is). His twin brother has extreme anger issues (although he seems to be getting better) and is horrible with biting both his twin and younger brother. He goes through phases where he won't bite and then will bite them both multiple times in a day! Right now, each of them has 3 bad bites on their bodies. I am so upset. I am trying everything. My SIL says biting is a phase some kids go through.

Are these things I would see a Dev pediatrician for? I'm not sure. DH thinks I'm nuts. He says they're 3 and I am expecting too much. I'm going to talk to their teachers but I don't think either of these issues present at school so it's hard if the teacher doesn't see it.

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

It sounds like you're going through a really tough time! I'd probably get a good behavior consult (BCBA) and have them observe them and give you strategies. Have you tried rewarding them for desirable behaviors (even if they are small in comparison to the big undesirable behaviors)? Every time I "caught" my DD being a good listener and a "bucket filler" (Have a You Filled A Bucket Today) I let her get a sticker and put it on a special peice of paper on the wall. When she acquired 5 she earned 5-10 minutes of the IPad (I used a timer). She bit (occasionally) between the ages of 2-4yrs. Her behavior and that of my neice who is 18 months younger than her and she sees everyday, improved immensely via a possitive reward behavior system. They went from being at eachothers throats to being rediculously "sweet". It was so weird how well it worked. In the beginning you have to "catch" the as much as you can so that they can earn their stickers then their reward. The reward has to be highly desirable and something they a ONLY get when they earn it with the stickers. I would also make the stickers exactly the same (all yellow stars for example) this way it eliminates fightly of who got what sticker. You might need to change the reward over time so they don't get bored of it. I would also make sure you aren't inadvertently reinforcing the undesirable behaviors by providing them with too much attention in response to the undesirable behavior. Kids often LOVE ever negative attention.

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

Thank you so much. I will definitely try the sticker route. My kids love stickers. And you are right, they do seem to thrive on the negative attention. I never thought about that. I'm going to 'try' to not make as big a deal about it. Just correct the behavior and move on when they do something wrong.

My niece was also a biter from 3-4. She bit until her brother had enough and finally bit her back. She ran crying to my SIL and she said see how it hurts when someone bites you! She never bit again.

As far as the BCBA, is this a dr? How do I find one? This is different from a Dev ped, right? Sorry if these are dumb questions . This is new to me.

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

BCBA is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (usually a psychologist). If you can't get rid of these behaviors on your own you might want to consult with one to give you strategies. 3 is a tough age! Are they otherwise developing typically in all areas?

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

My son who is 5 responds better to positive reinforcement. I can take the ipad away for five days and he doesnt care however, if I give him the ipad for 1/2 an hour after he cleans up his room I am "the best mommy ever." Have you asked for parent training? I do not know what school your children are attending but I would think in their setting, you should be getting some support from them. My parent traning with the school psychologist was invaluable, especially bridging the gap from school to home. We also see a dev. pediatrician but what you're looking for is more in lines with a behaviorist. Do your children have a diagnosis? My son (originally ASD) now diagnosised ADHD has some anger issues and with a behavior plan implemented at school is doing better.

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

I totally missed the part that both twins were in self contained classes. I would request parent training and ask for suggestions from their teachers an service providers. Do they get social skills counseling/ play therapy at school? How is their behavior in the class room and with peers? Are they in different classes or the same class?

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

Thanks for the responses. They are in 2 separate classrooms. By the time we had the district meeting a week before Christmas, there were very few openings at all in any schools never mind 2 in the same school. I am fine with different classrooms but wanted them in the same school. Their school was the only one that had 2 spots and but the district said this was one of the least restrictive environments (the next one would be integrated but there were no seats anywhere). They said to put them in and we could always reevaluate after a few months. They have no diagnosis (I have never brought them to a Dev ped).

They both can speak but are behind verbally and have trouble transitioning (don't want to sit in circle time, etc.). They are receiving speech and OT.

Their teachers say they don't really interact with the other children at all. They just play alone with the toys. They say they are not that concerned and it takes time. They do make them participate in circle time and group activities even though they don't want to (they are increasing the amount of time they have to participate).

Everyone seems to think with a little more time and help they can phase out of services by kindergarten. One teacher said its only been 3 weeks. Change will happen. Once the verbal ability comes, usually a lot of other behaviors progress but she said we need to wait 3-4 months to actually see. They are still adjusting to the classroom, etc. I just wish I could see into the future.

Message edited 1/27/2015 8:00:05 AM.

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

It can't hurt to see a developmental ped, but are you looking for a diagnosis?

They will basically evaluate your DC (usually not an accurate representation of the child) and confirm or deny what a parent is thinking.

If your DC is already receiving services, seeing the dev ped won't change anything unless you are looking for more services.

Regarding the behaviors i would give it some time but then ask the school psych for FBA (behavioral assessment) to see where the behaviors are coming from and how to address them. Feel free to FM me with questions (I'm currently working on my BCBA)!

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

Thanks! I'm not really looking for a diagnosis or more services for them (for now). I think you're right. I will give it a little more time with school and see what happens. My bf (who is a special ed teacher) said its probably a combination of things-starting school and adjusting to that and just being 3. What a tough age!!! Thanks everyone for the advice.

Re: Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

Posted by Dolphinsbaby

Thanks! I'm not really looking for a diagnosis or more services for them (for now). I think you're right. I will give it a little more time with school and see what happens. My bf (who is a special ed teacher) said its probably a combination of things-starting school and adjusting to that and just being 3. What a tough age!!! Thanks everyone for the advice.

Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

Sorry I did not read all the responses.
I took my son to a Dev ped when he was just over 2 years old. He has always been a handful. He was born premature. Since birth, I have been telling the pediatrician that I thought he had hearing problems. At about 18 months, he qualified for ST and we had a full hearing eval done. This revealed that he had a hearing impairment and would need hearing aids. Fast forward 6 months, 3 ENT's, 3 Audiologists, countless sound field testing and 1 sedated ABR later, it was determined that my sons hearing was fine. But he continually failed SFT and was determined to need hearing aids.
It was at that point that the ped suggested seeing a dev ped to get to the bottom of things. We did and we received an autism diagnosis. He is now in school 5 days a week, receives PT and ST and is in the process of being evaluated for OT. We also receive parent training.
We have a problem that he is a different child in school than he is at home. When I talk to the teachers and social workers at school they can not believe what I am telling them. Then they saw him at home. Now they believe me.
I don't think seeing the Dev Ped really changed anything for us. Didn't make life easier or better to get services. Basically he did his evaluation, said your son is autistic go home and read this website. See you again in 3 months. 1 thing I will say is that many of teachers and therapists do not agree with my son being ASD but we still implement many of the same techniques. Some work, some don't. Just like everything else in life. Being in school consistently has made huge changes. He is in a 10:1:2 and I do not foresee him going into a less restrictive environment in the near future. He has settled in at school and they are seeing firsthand what a handful he is.

Why did you take your child to see a Dev pediatrician?

I didnt go to dev pediatricin but after we finished our evaluations I went to neurologist. I just wanted to keep her in loop & find out what she thought. We are not having anything like you described but have some behavior issues with hitting. Since my boys started NEW school in Jan they have not seen anything that was described in report. The Neuro (Dr. Kharode) said maybe immature since just turned 3 at end of Oct or possible ADHD. We feel immature since doing well in new school

My son is getting OT & Behavior pushed into classroom with social worker.

Message edited 2/1/2015 9:55:35 PM.