Class Gift Dilemma

The "class mom" (not sure who chose her because I know I was never asked to vote on it) sent a note to each parent asking for $10-15 for the class gift "for all the wonderful work Mrs. G has done with our kids"
She plans on buying a gift card and then signing it from ONLY the parents who gave. (in essence singling out the parents who didn't)

The teacher is NOT deserving of ANY gift from the class. She basically goes through the motions, teaches at her speed, and if your kid is behind her suggestion is to hire a tutor.

It is also known from many past parents that she is vindictive, petty, and holds a grudge. When she gets that gift card and the names of the parents, she WILL take it out on the kids whose parents did not give money.

WWYD?

give or not give?

contact the "class mom" and tell her she cannot single people out or leave it alone?

Class Gift Dilemma

Give the $10. It's not worth the aggravation.

Class Gift Dilemma

I would give the money.

Class Gift Dilemma

Very annoying and wrong, but I would just give the money to avoid any aggravation. But, at some point I would mention to the class mom that I didn't think it was right and that the card should be signed in a way to indicate it was from all

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Just give $10

Class Gift Dilemma

I would give the $$.

At our school - they single out those who gave and didn't give (but, they only ask for $5 and they give $2.50 to towards the teacher gift in the class and split the remainder between the TAs and specials).

At our school - people send in a form if they are interested in being a class parent and then it is decided by a PTA committee somehow.

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IN our school, they have a form at the beginning of the year and the PTA board selects it from those who volunteer. I am the class mom. I sign all of the names to the gift. I don't want to single anyone out if their parents paid or did not pay. My feeling is that I don't want kids to feel badly. My other co mom wanted to exclude the kid whose parents did not pay. I put an end to that discussion. Seriously, sometimes people can be so mean and it is not the kids fault.

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Okay I see your frustration but on the flip side many people give their own gift. So I can see if i were a parent that contributed to the group gift, I would want the teacher to know. I find it strange that she will single kids out based on the fact that the parent did or did not give $10 to a class gift. I get it, she sucks as a teacher, but I think you are over thinking this. Either just give the $10, get your own gift or do nothing. I don't really think it will impact your child one way or another.

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Wow. I'm a class mom and I've never done that. But I agree send in the $10 and call it a day.

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I'm a teacher. At the beginning of the year I ask for volunteers who want to be class mom. I then toss all their names into a bag and randomly choose a name. I have NEVER heard of anyone "voting" for class mom.

If you don't think the teacher deserves a $10 contribution for the holidays for the hard work she puts in Day in and out, then don't contribute. Honestly.... it's the holidays. If it were me, I'd put whatever "ill will" you have towards this teacher on the back burner.

What the class mom is doing is just plain mean though. What if $10 is seriously a hardship for some families? That's disgraceful.

Anyway... whatever you do, take the high road and choose your battles.

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I would just contribute, but the whole thing sounds weird.
We get sent home paper to fill out if we're interested in becoming class mom. The teacher picks 2 out of a bag or hat and lets them know. They are in charge of collecting for class parties and also class teacher gift for winter party and end of year.
I am the class mom for my son's K class. The head of PTA sends an email telling us what to collect for the head teacher and then any assistant. We're also told to tell everyone it's not mandatory and we put "from the whole class" not to point anyone out who didn't contribute.
I am putting money in for the class teachers as well as getting a separate gift from my son.
Situation is strange, but I would just throw in the $10.

Class Gift Dilemma

I don't like the signing of the card with just the kids who gave money. The teacher doesn't need to know who contributed and who didn't. I was class mom one year in my DD's preschool. I collected money for a holiday gift and signed the card from the whole class even though some didn't contribute. A couple of my mom friends in the class thought I should have just signed for those who put in money, but I didn't think that was fair. The next year, one of them was class mom and she signed names. I cringed lol.

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This is really sad. What about families that are really up against it? I mean, if can afford it, do it for the sake of your child. I guess some people assume everyone on Long Island is loaded with money. What she is doing really contradicts what the season is really about.

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Class Gift Dilemma

Im class mom and teh PTO picks the class moms, I have been it in the past and ask for donations for a gift and have received nothing so these past few years I don't do it anymore. I let everyone send in there own gift, one year it was me and the other class mom were the only ones who sent in money but I did sign it from everyone.

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Thanks for the replies everyone.
I honestly haven't decided what to do yet.

We had parent-teacher conferences this week, and it was awful. She basically answered all my questions with "i wouldn't worry, he'll be fine" Made it sound like she'll give him good grades (even if he didn't earn them) and sounded completely disinterested in my kid and his education.
she spoke over me,did not give me any time to ask a question (i managed two) and literally put her hand on my DHs back to hurry him along because he was leaving too slow for her liking.


As to the poster who said she's worked hard day in and day out- usually i would agree, but not in her case. she's coasting, barely. all her assignments are from last year (she has forgotten to change the dates on the last few she's given), her tests are straight from the book, she hasn't checked homework in over a week (i have a pile of hw papers just sitting in DSs folder, all dated, with no marks) She gave them a 25 page science packet to be done over two weeks and only checked the first page. she hasn't gotten back to multiple parents in over two weeks as well. she is not working hard, she is biding her time until retirement. this is one of my MAJOR issues with her.

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I don't know... If she is known for taking it out on the kids if parents don't give money for the gift, I'd just give 10 and forget about it. Now, if you don't like her as a teacher for the reasons you mentioned, I'd talk to the principal or another person, because that goes beyond the class gift.

Class Gift Dilemma

Last year i was class mom and despised my son's teacher so much, i decided to switch schools. Regardless, i did decide to contribute. I just didnt want to cause any issues. At the time, i think we chipped in $25 for each teacher in his class. There were 3 in total.