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Message edited 9/21/2007 4:08:21 PM.

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

Hi, I just had a mc in September. My DH is the opposite of yours...he wants to try right this second!! We have just been going with the flow. I am not sure when to expect AF but we have not been that careful, so whatever happens happens...but he is almost more anxious than me! My Dr. said that just because you MC once, does not mean you will necessarily mc again..I have to hang on to that hope!
I am sorry for your loss!!!

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

My husband can go either way. We have one beautiful child and are truly happy with having her in our lives if that is all we are intended to have. I am anxious to try again, but he wants to wait until things settle down, plusI have to wait until January to stat trying again. i don't blame him in his thoughts, it's hard on them too and it's scary to see your wife sad.

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

I am sorry about what you are going through. I just had a m/c last week. My Dh said he will try as soon as I want to, but I am the one who is scared.

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

When I had my m/c, my hubby was right on board and left it up to me when I was ready. He was ready and willing just waiting for my go ahead.
We both felt like we failed and couldn't sit by and not do anything about it. I didn't even get AF after my m/c, we conceived right away with my baby girl
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Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

Message edited 9/21/2007 4:07:58 PM.

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

Qiana, I am so sorry for your loss.

I think we often underestimate the sensitivity of men. They are conditioned to be tough and show little weakness. Losing a child brings out things in people that nobody should have to experience.

My parents lost a child weeks after birth and it wasnt until over 20 years later, that I learned my father's true feelings about it. He was scared to TTC again as he had three healthy children and did not want to risk losing a child again. Mom overruled him and here I am.

Im sure your DH knows how much having a child means to you. He needs a little time to mourn and I am sure your future children will bring him more joy than you ever thought possible.

In the meantime, vent along with us. We are here for you.

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

Q - lotsa for you sweetie!! Give him some time and start trying again!

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

Qiana,

Definitely give Peter some time. As long as both of you keep communicating, you'll know when the time is right for both of you!

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

I am sorry for your loss.

When i had my m/c my dr. wanted us to wait a FULL cycle before trying and DH seemed scared to go anywhere near me bd wise.
Even on a NON fertile day.

When I tried to convince him, he was like "the dr said to wait ". By the 2nd month he was back to being ok ttc.

Give him a little time- and good luck

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

I too just recently had a miscarriage, as soon as my levels get down to 0 we are going to start trying again. We are going to put this chapter of our life behind us and look forward to having a healthy baby.

Good Luck to you!!

Re: If you had a miscarriage did your DH/SO want...

I am so sorry for your loss . I misscarried recently after years of trying to get pregnant. In fact, we didn't think it would ever happen without medical intervention. I was both estatic and destroyed all within a few weeks period. I lamented over "why did God let me get pregnant just to take my baby away?" If I had never gotten pregnant I would never have felt this bad. But it also gave me hope. I know it can happen.

My DH want children too...as much as I do, but he is not willing to jepordize me or us. Remember, it takes two of you to get pregnant and two of you to raise the child (or a whole village if you belive the news). Its a hard choice...wanting a baby but alienating your DH. Talk to him...let him know how important it is to you to at least continue to try. Contract for a break of a few months (to let your body get healthy) then try. My DH was reluctant to try again after he saw how much losing our baby hurt me. But he is more than 100% on board now after understanding how important this is to me.

Good Luck,

LJ