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Message edited 3/28/2008 3:07:37 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I would be a bit peed off, I must admit, I'm sorry

.

Message edited 3/28/2008 3:08:50 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Does giving him the silent treatment work?

can someone please tell me that

Message edited 3/28/2008 2:52:58 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Well that's one option out the window then. Can you try being all sweetness and light and explaining it to him like he is a 4 year old? Both of those scare my DH, if I am nice but very calm he know's he's in trouble!

can someone please tell me that

Message edited 3/28/2008 2:54:08 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I think that it TOTALLY depends on the situation. In many cases, I would feel that a husband is just plain wrong to do that. I do think it is wrong to do that right after you were diagnosed with an issue.

However, I say it depends on the situation b/c my DH and I have been in beach houses for years and now I am having pregnancy complications and we are only going to get a limited time there together. He commutes, runs home every single time I have to go see a specialist, does all the laundry and many of our errands, does some work for me at my office and has become very worried about me. I would encourage him to get away for a bit at this point b/c this is all very difficult and I have held him back. But I would also encourage him b/c I know that if he goes once, it is not like he would expect to do the same thing again every weekend.

can someone please tell me that

Message edited 3/28/2008 2:54:56 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I'm sorry you're so upset but try not to get yourself too stressed out.

I guess everyone is different because I wouldn't have a problem if dh went away for 1 night (it's only one night & not the whole weekend, right?). I might be a little annoyed at first but I would look at it as time to myself to relax. You guys don't want to be at each other's throat all the time.

Btw, I can sympathize because dh works night also, but once in a while he'll go out on his day off. I just told him that I didn't want him to do it every week & he also shouldn't expect to do to much more partying when the baby is here.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

The way I see it, let him go...get it out of his system because once baby is here, life changes!

This is how I have handled DH this pregnancy. He quotes me now "I know, get it out of my system now, because when the twins come, there won't be Sunday Football marathons and Monday Night Football!"

I rather go with the flow then rage against the machine! And hey, it gives me some time alone with out him constantly up my rear!

Take some time for yourself and do something you would like to do! Get some girls together and have a Spa Day!

Good Luck!

can someone please tell me that

Message edited 3/28/2008 2:55:49 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

hmmmmm, I can definitely see how both of you feel.

My DH is in 2 bands besides his FT job, so his weekends, esp. in the summer, are chaotic. Sometimes he is gone the entire weekend. I know, that's work, but if he wanted to go away for a night or 2, I would say OK, you aren't gonna get many opportunities after the baby is born, so fine.
If it was all the time or very close to my DD, then I would be upset.

If I ever told DH what I "expected" of him, we would at me, but I guess that's just our relationship.

It sounds like it may have been in your delivery that got DH upset. I have a bad habit with it too......I totally fly off the handle and DH thinks I'm crazy sometimes. Your hormones are all over the place. BUt if you DID agree to these circumstances, then yes, he should stay home with you.

Whatever way it turns out, try not to be too upset, stress isn't good either.

can someone please tell me that

Message edited 3/28/2008 2:56:50 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I'm sorry, but I have to say that I don't agree with you. Next year it will be even harder for him to go away. I think its time to figure out something girly that you would like to do while he is away and let him have some fun. Go to the spa, go to a chick flick, catch up with a girlfriend. Expecting him home to be with you sounds overly needy to me. He needs his own time to relax too, and yes away from you sometimes.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I don't even know what to say. I would be ticked off initially but would probably be okay with it when I calmed down a bit. Sometimes it's the things said during an argument that tick you off even more than the initial reason!

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I really sounds t me like the reality of you being pregnant hasn't hit him. He may just not understand your needs. Has he read any books written for Dad's to be?

DH read this book.

It talks about the physical and emotional changes a pregnant woman goes through, medical stuff, his emotions, and ways to support the mom to be.

Maybe getting some info this way will help him be more supportive. I do not think you are being unreasonable, you guys are in this together and it sounds like he isn't holding up his end of things.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I can definitely see where you are coming from and why you are upset. But like many girls have posted, I think it all depends on your relationship.

To be honest with you, I love having time to myself and encourage my DH to go out and do stuff. I have always been very independent and really enjoy being alone at times. In fact, my DH is going to upstate NY this weekend for a "guys poker weekend" and I was encouraging him to leave Friday night instead of Saturday!!!


I also know that I have had a very easy pregnancy (34 weeks Saturday) and my mom is 30 minutes away if I need anything.

Plus, we just got him his 52 inch flat screen TV because he knows that once this baby is here, he won't be going out all that much!! Hang in there and I hope you can come to an understanding!

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

First of all at 37 why does he need to go to the hamptons? Whats out there? Neptunes and Tavern? Come on now...

He should know better to ask.. Why does he even need a "friends" night.. Hasn't he grown out of them?

I don't know? I agree with you 100%%%%

I would be flipping out.. My husband and I are true club kids.. We did after hrs atleast once a mt.. all of our friends are single and in the scene and they wouldnt dare think my husband would come out without me..

THERE IS NO NEED!

ahhhhhhhh I hope your ok!

also? What's up with seperate vacations.. My parents are married 40years and never went away apart..Why get married if you need to do things without each other

Message edited 7/19/2007 9:28:55 AM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

can someone please tell me that

Message edited 3/28/2008 2:58:20 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

What does he say to what your saying?