Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I am sorry that you are stressed but I have to agree with Calla. I encourage DH to go out and do stuff with his friends and be as "carefree" this summer as possible because next year is going to be a different situation all together. DH has gone away with his friends for 4 nights since I found out I was preggo and I think there maybe another trip in the works to visit a friend in Wisconsin.

I think that because of your current stress level you may be overly sensitive to his going away for the night. Personally I think its just one night and it doesn't sound like he does this often so to me I would say, go enjoy and I would plan a nice mani/pedi during the day, lunch/ dinner with a friend and a night of relaxing chick flicks!

Good Luck!

can someone please tell me that

Message edited 3/28/2008 2:59:16 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

ahhhhhhh! He needs to get drop kicked..

.

Message edited 3/28/2008 3:00:01 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

When I was pregnant last summer, I was working over 40 hours a week while DH was able to take days off and half days. He played over 40 rounds of golf last summer as well. I completely understand what you are saying and feeling but I don't think you should be so hard on him. He can't help that you are pregnant and he's not. There is also no reason why you can't go out and have fun as well. Instead of becoming so frustrated and mad at him, channel that energy into doing something for you.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

My husband ****** me off last night

Yesterday he didn't have to work so he decided to paint the babys room which was great I was really excited to see what it looked like when I got home from work. The only thing I told him was to make sure he doesn't put too much paint on the walls (he has a tendancy to be excessive with everything like if you say a little salt its like a handful of it) so he says no problem. I get home and there are a lot of paint drippings all over the place some were like a foot and a 1/2 long. I was like *** I called him and he sounded really cute on the phone asking me what I thought so I didn't get mad I just said there are a few spots you need to touch up. The paint drippings were completely dry so he said all he had to do was sand it a little and then paint over it. Fine that was that.

By the time he came home from work he was a different person. He walked in the room and was like are you kidding me. But really ladies it was bad even my dad and mom saw it. With his reaction I started to get flustered and my anger was about to pop out. He started in with me saying that I'm over reacting, that there was nothing wrong with it etc etc..but there was!! I told him the baby could have done a better job and that he does things 1/2 *** around the house etc etc it turned into one huge fight of yelling and cursing. Which got me upset because it was the babys room. I was in the other room listening to him ***** and moan as he was sanding the wall. I swear I wanted to kill him. I'm not talking to him and if he calls me at work I'm hanging up the phone on him. He owes me an apology.

Sorry you had to be upset over your issue. I really didn't get myself to crazy because of the baby but at the same time I was like why doesn't he think like that. It's like they forget that we are in delicate condition. It's like I have to remind him of it. I truely believe guys get hormonal too on occasion.

Message edited 7/19/2007 10:56:57 AM.

.

Message edited 3/28/2008 3:00:36 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

honestly, I think you are overreacting. I really don't see the big deal of him being out with the boys while you are home pregnant. Like others have said, this is going to be his last summer of freedom.

I would definitely try to relax and enjoy your alone time, because that is definitely going to end in the next few months. I love when my hubby has his poker nights - it's the perfect excuse to order in a good dinner, put on my pj's and just relax with a good book or work on some crafts.

and honestly, if I ever told my hubby he "specifically couldn't do something" the response probably wouldn't be good. He's my husband, not my child.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I don't think you are over re-acting. It's how you feel and you are entitled to feel that way. Remember it's not just you that is pregnant - you both are! Of course DH can go out and have fun...but when you are married and pregnant there should be limits and your wife and family should always come first.

Hope you feel better...try to relax and if he goes take advantage of the time alone because you won't have much of that in a couple of months

.

Message edited 3/28/2008 3:01:25 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I didn't read all of the responses, but I would be annoyed too. Why does HE get to have all this fun-going-away-with-his-buddies time while you do not get the same time with YOUR friends?

He needs a reality check!

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Posted by Bklyngrl

Posted by Karen

honestly, I think you are overreacting. I really don't see the big deal of him being out with the boys while you are home pregnant. Like others have said, this is going to be his last summer of freedom.

I would definitely try to relax and enjoy your alone time, because that is definitely going to end in the next few months. I love when my hubby has his poker nights - it's the perfect excuse to order in a good dinner, put on my pj's and just relax with a good book or work on some crafts.

and honestly, if I ever told my hubby he "specifically couldn't do something" the response probably wouldn't be good. He's my husband, not my child.

when i said "specific" it referred to he wanted to do a full share again as we always have and i didnt this year, knowing that i'm not going to be into hanging out in a party/drinking atmosphere 7&8 months pregnant every weekend so i don't want to spend the $$$ on that. We compromised and I agreed to the quarter share but only with the understanding that he does not stay out there without me. Its a long story. He's a married father to be - i dont see a need for him to be out there sharing a bedroom with anyone other than his wife. Sorry we are not 18. I don't tell him what to do at all - that wouldn't fly with him either but there comes a time where he has to step up and get his priorities straight.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

.

Message edited 3/28/2008 3:02:31 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I would be upset too but that is because I am on bedrest and am so totally dependant upon DH for everything. Can you invite some friends over for a girls night?

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

men stink!! mine is supposed to be painting next month when he's on "vacation" only he doesn't want me to be home while he does it. He does EVERYTHING half *&^ too. Not that he does a whole lot - yet he thinks he does and then expects a medal for it. I asked him last night - where is my medal?


See, now I would look at my husband wanting to paint and not having me be in the house as a sweet gesture. He probably doesn't want you to be around the paint fumes. When you say he does everything half a$$, maybe that is the only way he knows how to do things. Maybe in his eyes he is giving it his all.

I always try to see things from every perspective. Choose your battles. My DH has a wonderful habit of putting his shoes, clothes down and not picking them back up. I choose not to battle him on that because I love so many other things about him. I hope it gets better for you both!

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

i personally would not be mad and would use the time to my advantage to do things that I may not normally do when DH is home...
If it's ok that he goes out for the night with the guys, why isn't it ok for him to sleep there? I would rather Dh sleep there than have to drive home late... and I get the whole bed to myself!

.

Message edited 3/28/2008 3:02:57 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Posted by Bklyngrl

I DO trust my husband - i don't care for the troublemakers/jealous people that are out there and I can just hear the comments (oh so and so is out partying while the cat is away) and that nonsense. I"ve been out there long enough to know what its like. I'd rather he overnight it elsewhere if that makes any sense.

We share a bedroom with another couple when we are out there. i just don't feel its appropriate and i don't think i should need to deal with any of the nonsense - especially when my hormones have me ultra-sensitive and i have more important issues like my baby to worry about.

Amanda, I agree, i will try to look at things from his perspective a little more. I was just mad and venting - he doesn't really do "everything" half *$$. I am a stickler for things and like them done just right etc. which i admit can be annoying but i'm very lovable

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Posted by Bklyngrl

I DO trust my husband - i don't care for the troublemakers/jealous people that are out there and I can just hear the comments (oh so and so is out partying while the cat is away) and that nonsense. I"ve been out there long enough to know what its like. I'd rather he overnight it elsewhere if that makes any sense.

We share a bedroom with another couple when we are out there. i just don't feel its appropriate and i don't think i should need to deal with any of the nonsense - especially when my hormones have me ultra-sensitive and i have more important issues like my baby to worry about.

Amanda, I agree, i will try to look at things from his perspective a little more. I was just mad and venting - he doesn't really do "everything" half *$$. I am a stickler for things and like them done just right etc. which i admit can be annoying but i'm very lovable

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

I also think you are overreacting.

If I ever spoke to DH that way or he spoke to me that way it would be over. IMO you don't threatned to call a lawyer unless your eally wnat a divorce. I don't understand why you can't hang out while pregnant but just not drink. Drinking is not the only fun thing to do, what about hamging out wiht friends. I went out while 7 months pg with twins and drank soda. I was just glad to be out with friends.

Also he needs some time with his friends, just because he is married should not mean you are attached at the hip.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Message edited 7/19/2007 4:36:50 PM.

.

Message edited 3/28/2008 3:03:40 PM.

Re: DH vent: can someone please tell me that

Ok Mag, heres my take on this...after reading all of the posts...

I don't see the big deal of him being out over night, for one night, every now and then, while you are home pregnant...if you trust him.

HOWEVER, if you've expressed to him that on this one particular occassion you would prefer that he not go, that you are feeling emotional or like you need him or that it just would really upset you he if he went this time for whatever reason, I think he should back down and try to understand how you feel...and not go.

Whether he understands where your coming from or not, it should be more worth it to him to not upset you than to stay over night in a beach house...regardless of if it makes sense to him and regardless if it is fair to him or not. You are his wife.

I could see his side only if he was constantly making sacrafices and staying home because you didn't want him going out...but that doesn't seem to be the case here based on your posts. If its just one, or even a couple of times, that your requesting him to stay home I think he should honor that. Its really not that much to ask if it means avoiding conflict.

If he went, or is going, I'd probably just try to make him understand (after he gets back) that I was dissapointed that he wouldn't honor a simple request of mine for the sake of making/keeping me happy...fair to him or not. You are carrying his child here!! And its not like you get upset every time he wants time w/the boys.

Try not to be mad at him...you guys are married, he obvously loves you, it seems he just doesn't see it your way this time. Maybe for whatever reason he REALLY wanted to go...enough to cause a fight (obviously no one LIKES fighting). In that case, maybe try to understand why he wanted to go so bad. Just let him know how you feel/felt and thats all you can do. Hanging on to it for too long or holding it over his head will only hurt the both of you so try not to do that!

Relationships/marraige is hard, and a lot of times not fair...but I think that as long as we're getting more good out of it than bad, we're doing all right.

....and yes...at times men do s*ck!!! They really just don't think sometimes.