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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
i think we have all been there.
having a husband who works long hours and no relief is taxing. add on exhastion...
i remember feeding my baby a yogurt and he threw it across the room. i slapped his little hand..i felt horrible.
you will remember this feeling next time. that its so not worth it. just walk away and regroup.
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Posted 9/17/09 1:36 PM  |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by soveryupset
These are great ideas.
I need to step outside and get away when she screams. She wakes up like this sometimes and it's so tough. I want to say, "YOU JUST WOKE UP! HOW CAN YOU BE THAT HUNGRY!"
This is when they are most hungry. How about getting her bottle before you get her out of her crib. That way you have it and can give it to her right away-unless you are EBF. If you are, I might consider pumping for that bottle.
As far as yelling at them I think everyone has! I yelled at my 12 week old to "stop this sh!t!" No one is perfect. Stop beating yourself up but by the same token if you feel yourself getting to that level...do as AP said and put her in her crib and walk outside for 5 minutes. The only way they have to communicate is crying and unfortunately they have a lot of messages for you!
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| Posted 9/17/09 2:11 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by SweetTooth
Frustration and sleep deprivation has gotten the best of all of us. She will not remember you yelled at her.
What I would find that helped when I got that frustrated was to put DC in the crib, and step away. Go take a shower, even if DC is screaming. You will be able to calm down and when you go back to her, you will be in a different frame of mind.
ITA!!!
Ditto. DD is 2months old (tomorrow!) and there have been a couple of days already where I put her in her swing or crib and just did my own thing for a few mins. Sleep deprivation can be really bad! No one knows if you have PPD from reading a post on here but its always better to be safe and mention to your OB just to see if the trend carries, and to get real help IF its needed...
Nothing wrong with that, and I think by asking/sharing this its great!
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| Posted 9/17/09 2:16 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
she is totally not going to remember that I can def. say i've been there, and sleep deprivation can steer you to do things you would never do normally. I have one incident in my mind that I will never forget (ds was around 3-4 months), he is 1 year old and still to this day I feel so badly about it. He was colicy, always miserable, crying. I was putting him in his car seat to go to buy buy baby bc I NEEDED to get him some things, and he was screaming for no reason. I was so frustrated I took him, stomped back into the house (in tears myself at this point), put him in his swing and told him he can rot in his swing since he didn't want to go out   After that, I learned the best thing to do is walk away scream in your pillow and you will feel much better  It's soooooooooo hard, and you will probably always feel bad about it , but you can prevent it from happening again
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| Posted 9/17/09 2:21 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by davenjess
Posted by soveryupset
So because I lost it and screamed at her, I could have Post Partum Depression?
i am NOT judging - but you did not just scream at her. you squeezed her arms...you didn't do any damage to her & she will NOT remember - but that to ME is a little step beyond the normal and average level of frustration....
i was not trying to insult you or make you nervous at all...but just giving my opinion as someone who was there...that's all.
I agree with this. I would rather be safe than sorry.
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| Posted 9/17/09 8:54 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
I don't think this makes you a bad mom at ALL. I know this because you are dwelling on it, and you feel bad about doing it. You know that you stepped over the line. That is HUGE.
My DD is a very easy baby, so this issue has never come up with her, but I used to watch my nephew when I was in college--my sister went back to work when he was 8 weeks old. He had AWFUL colic, and I was with him from 6am until 7:30 pm. There was one day I remember that he just would NOT stop screaming, no matter what I did. He was about 3 months old. I felt myself starting to lose it--I don't care who you are, you can only take that kind of screaming for so long before you lose your mind. I put him in his stroller, more forcefully than I should have, wheeled him into the kitchen at breakneck speed and screamed "STAY IN THERE!" and closed the door. He screamed for about 20 minutes before he finally fell asleep. And then I cried. I knew I had stepped over the line, but the best thing I could have done was to put him someplace safe and to take some time to regroup. When he woke up 1/2 hour later, I went to pick him up and he was all sweaty from crying so hard
That was a learning experience for me. My nephew is 8 years old now, and sometimes when I look at him, I remember that day and thank God he doesn't remember it. But the guilt I still feel over that experience is very much with me today. Yes, sometimes I get frustrated with my DD, but I know that I will never be going THERE again.
Hang in there.
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| Posted 9/17/09 9:11 PM |
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LJSMommy
Love him!
Member since 10/07 3189 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by Calla
Also just walking outside with the screaming child would often surprise her enough to calm down some or would relax me a bit...
Used to do this with DS ALL the time....worked like a charm! We called the outside his "no cry zone"!!
And you're not a BAD Mommy....tired & frustrated yes.....not bad Just take some of the advice from the girls next time you start to feel that way.... walking away (baby can cry a few minutes & it won't kill her!!) is a good start.....change of environment for both of you is good too!
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| Posted 9/17/09 9:24 PM |
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landj
After 4 years, 1000 posts!
Member since 7/06 1124 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
I think we have all been there, to some extent anyway. You are not alone and not a bad mommy !
Sleep deprivation can get to the best of us. And taking care of an infant who can't express his/her needs is challenging in itself.
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| Posted 9/17/09 9:30 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
I think its completely normal and NO your child isn't going to remember you yelling at her at 4 months.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. I always try to walk away if the kids start acting up or throwing tantums and nothing else works.
We are all guilty of yelling, getting a bit out of hand and then feeling sorry for doing so.
Many hugs
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| Posted 9/17/09 9:41 PM |
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