3 yr old crying at nursery school

I am a SAHM that works part time from home. DS just started nursery school on Friday. He goes three mornings a week MWF. The first two days were abbreviated sessions (2 hrs), and today was the first half day session (3 hrs). Well, he cries the ENTIRE time.

I don't know what to do. The first day, he walked in without a problem but ten minutes later, when he realized I wasnt there, he started crying for the entire two hours. The second day he cried once we got to the school and cried the entire time again. I stayed probably 10 minutes. The third day, which was today, I stayed for an hour. He was fine when I was there if I didn't mention leaving, but the second I mentioned leaving he would start crying. Leaving him was hard because he was crying. The teacher's didn't push me to leave but they really aren't giving any direction or thoughts. I know it is tough and each kid is different. Not only he is crying, he is not participating either. The teacher said they colored a snake for the letter S and he did not want to. But when they colored the number 1 when I was there, he did that. Right before we put him to bed, he said he sat by his cubby and waited for me to come get him. He isn't even eating the snack that was offered to him. And he is a HUGE food eater. He never says no to a snack. He actually says he wants to have a snack at home.

He has serious anxiety about this and after I picked him up, all he talked about was not wanting to go to school. I am thinking of asking the principal/teachers to let me stay the entire time. I know sometimes the bandaid approach is better, but just seeing him so worked up about this is really troubling. If he cried just for a while and then participated I wouldn't have been as troubled by this. I feel like his anxiety is preventing him from enjoying this.

Any thoughts, or experiences??

Sorry this is so long, and thanks for reading.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

my son cried the first 2 days as well of preschool. I immediately started a sticker rewards chart for him for school. If he did good, no tears... then after an x amount of stickers, he could go pick out a toy he wanted at the store, as a reward.

worked like a charm.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

With my kid, just leaving works best.

Sure, if I leave and someone else was there, he would cry... But me coming back always made it worse.

I'm a FTWM though, and we have lots of leaving.

If your DC is young, and you don't lose too much $$, you can try a separation class if you don't like the bandaid approach. Then, when he's ready, do preschool.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

I think normal especially if first Tim he being away from you. I'd try few more days. Once he sees you are coming back always may b get better. So you like the teachers?I think they should be more helpful.

3 yr old crying at nursery school

My DD is 4 and also in DC part time. She cried the 2nd & 3rd days just for drop offs. For me I have to drop her off and then go out of site. Staying would definitely make it harder for her. Each child is different though and mine is used to being away from me it's just a totally new environment. I would try the reward chart.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

My girls were never criers but that seems the exception...my daughter said last year the first week she was the only one who didn't cry at all. Everyone else cried at least a little and a few the whole time all week. They all adjusted and were very happy. I know when my older one went to preschool it was the same. It is hard on the mom but all the kids did adjust and seemed very happy. It just took a little longer for some than others. It seemed the ones who had a harder time were ones who didn't do a program the year before.

3 yr old crying at nursery school

As a nursery teacher, I would reccomend you leaving right after drop off. I've seen many a parent stay and think that this approach makes it better, but honestly, it makes it a lot worse for the child. If you can, hide outside the room in the hall (I've had parents do this) and have a teacher pop out to you and let you know when your child has stopped crying and that will help you I hope feel at ease. Sometimes children, especially those brand new to school, will cry the entire first week/two weeks etc. but odds are they'll be giving you the hardest time. I've had students carry on and on for their parents to the point of their parents almost pulling them and yet after ten seconds being in the door and not seeing their parents, are completely fine.

That being said, it's his first couple of days and you know your child best. But I would give it a little while longer for him to adjust. It's scary to be asked to participate right away! And the teachers should be more understanding of this.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

I would maybe give it a few days of just leaving. I think staying just makes it harder for them to get into the routine and get used to the idea that "oh, ok- mommy's not here, but my teacher is and she can help me and take care of me".
My DS will be 3 in November and just started nursery school 2 mornings a week. I'm also a SAHM so this is the first time he'll really be away from me. The first day was just an hour and parents stayed- the kids just kind of explored the room, had snack, etc. The second day was a drop-off, but a shorter session (1.5 hours vs. 2.5). When I went to drop DS off, he was really excited to go back to school- pretty much ran to his classroom LOL he seemed happy when I went to pick him up, too.
BUT its a co-op so there is a parent volunteer in the room every day. I ran into the mom in the parking lot and she said "hes so cute!!" I said " thanks! hey- did he cry at all?" She told me he did, but as long as someone kind of hung with him, he was ok. I love his school already because they had extra people on hand the first couple days to kind of hug the kids, hang close with the ones that needed comfort.
from what DS told me, he ate snack and everything- so I think he just needed some extra comfort because its so new to him. I'm gonna give it a few more times and see how he does.
but, yeah I know his teacher did tell us all on the first day that you just have to leave so they get used to that part of it....

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

My ds last year screamed for the entire class for 3 days and I deceided at that point he wasn't ready. He wasn't quite 3 yet. He never settled after I left at all and wouldn't let anyone near him. One day he ran and got his backpack and was at the door crying I want to go home.
I ended up pulling him becuase I didn't think it was worth the stress for him. He had some speech issues and when he got services through cpse for the speech at a center he adjusted really well. Then after a few months of that we re enrolled him in school and he adjusted fine. He would cry for a few minutes at drop off and then be ok. By the end of the week he was running into school.
Do what you think is best. My school wouldn't let me sit in the classroom at all to help him get acclamated.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

OMG I was just coming on to post about this.
My son will be 4 in February and we have him going 2 full days 8:45-3:30p.
First day was Tuesday- he did good when I dropped him off and then he cried at nap time for a good hour his teacher said.
Today I dropped him off and he was fine and then all of a sudden he started to cry uncontrollably. I was heartbroken. He kept saying mommy I want to go home with you.
I should have left right away but the teacher brought him into the room and I left. I felt horrible leaving him.
My friend had the same thing happen with her daughter. She put a family picture in her backpack and that made it easier. I think I will do that.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

My DD is not 3 yet (Jan) but we did a separation class this summer. She cried for the first few classes. The first couple she cried on and off the whole time (I left, but teachers told me). And when she wasn't crying, she wasn't participating. She would sit quietly and watch the other kids. I was concerned that I was stressing her out, but I kept bringing her. Finally, she started to be ok with drop off and participating. And when I'd pick her up she'd tell me that she missed her friends and wanted to go back. This made me so happy and glad I stuck with it.

We're starting nursery school next week at a new school, so I know we'll probably go through this all over again, but I honestly think leaving is the best approach.

Re: 3 yr old crying at nursery school

Thanks for all the responses ladies. I am going to leave him tomorrow. I had him choose a family picture to put by his cubby and i let him choose a small toy to have in his school bag. Hopefully he will do better. I've already left him for 3 days I dont want to start staying there the entire time, since it seems like a step backwards. What is difficult is, aside from this attachment, he is such a social and verbal kid!

3 yr old crying at nursery school

I would not stay with him more than a few minutes. But never just leave. Always tell him that you are coming back and maybe even show him where the hands will be on the clock.

I would def try a reward system.

I have found that sticking around doesn't really do any good. He will be fine after a few days.