Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I TRULY appreciate allyour thoughts, concerns, efforts, suggestions and the like.

BUt... nowhere on my post did i cry poverty. Also, i did make the correction that i messed up on our incomes . I added that i have a HUGE student loan (over $600 a month). DH is in school too.

I also want to add that my original post was venting about how disappointed i was w/ my raise and how DH and i were "banking" on more

I was actually looking to see if anyone was in "my boat" and im sad that some people are thinking im crying over the fact that i cant buy a pair of shoes (that was used as an example to show you how i feel).

Im not going to cancel the party for my DH bc i feel that he does SO much for me and i think as a teacher on LI, i should be able to give him a nice 30th bday party. Ofcourse, if its overwhelming, then i would have to rethink it, but as of yesterday when i wrote my original post, i was stressing BIG TIME!!!!

Thank you to all the girls who provided suggestions but im hurt by the posts that say "how could you...." etc etc. Obviously I dont KNOW how im in this situ and thats why im posting- for help!!!!

Im not angey or upset. Just hurt a bit by the fact that some people might be thinking that Im shallow bc i want to buy myself clothes or something.

Message edited 10/10/2006 12:57:34 PM.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I totally saw where you were coming from. Good luck with everything! And if you want to buy yourself a pair of shoes, than do it!!!! (I knew what you were trying to say though about not even being able to buy a pair of UGGS).
It will all work out... it always does.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I see where you are coming from. I've gotten the same treatment on here in the past.

Sometimes no matter how much you make, its not enough. Everyone's situation is different. And I woud be upset too, if me and DH were working hard and made what seems like it should be enough money and I couldn't even buy a pair of shoes.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I understood what you meant, hence why I asked if you wanted to pick up some freelance writing from me! heh heh! It's stressful living, working, and playing on Long Island. It's scary to think our first homes are costing $500K and then some...with work needed!

I do think if money is an issue, maybe the party should be put on hold. We have to make sacrifices when needed. You had a beautiful, beautiful wedding, it seems. Why not take him out to a fabulous dinner or cook him something special? I'm not telling you what to do, just offering some advice.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

$600 for your student loans? WOW. Have you tried to consolidate? I consolidated mine a year ago and my payments went from $300 per month to $150.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Honestly? What upset me the most about all of your posts was that you need extra money, you need another job, but you feel you are too good to work for under $20 an hour.

Sometimes when you need money you take what you can get. I'm not putting you down, just saying that there are people with a lot more education and experience than you who work part-time for less just because they need the money.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

i think i see your side, i can't realate, but i think that you need to look at it another way.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I can totally understand where you are coming from, but unfortunately these kinds of posts get taken out of context. Unless you're literally living out of a cardboard box someone is going to say you aren't sacrificing enough.....it always turns into a "could be worse" game. Feel better

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

more hugs

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Don't even let it get to you. Unfortunately a lot of people are quick to judge others and start preaching, but it really only shows their own ignorance. Living in this area is indeed very frustrating at times, especially when you make a very decent combined living and work very hard for it, yet still feel like you have nothing leftover for the occasional treat. There's nothing wrong with venting about that.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Posted by johnsae

I can totally understand where you are coming from, but unfortunately these kinds of posts get taken out of context. Unless you're literally living out of a cardboard box someone is going to say you aren't sacrificing enough.....it always turns into a "could be worse" game. Feel better

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

We are in the same boat. Low - mid 6 figures is not enough for us right now. It makes me wonder where the heck all our money goes. We are hiring a financial planner to help us sort through our spending to see where we are making our mistakes.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I understand where you are coming from, it is hard on Long Island. Maybe you could rent a hall or have it at a low key place.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I think we've all been where you were when you posted that - frustrated over our financial position at the moment. It was a vent. People tried to help by offering suggestions...but you probably just needed to hear "I've been there"... OR... "Be thankful b/c it could be worse"...sometimes we all need to hear THAT too, to put our financial woes into perspective.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I'm sorry the negative posts are bothering you. Take it all with a grain of salt. For some, your salary must sound astronomical, and it is a good salary. Unfortunately, that kind of money doesn't go as far as it should on LI.

It is tough when there are lots of weddings, showers, etc. all at once, and all are for close family members or friends. It should pass though, so hang in there. You'll get through a tight spot.

I also understand the frustration with long hours. Sometimes, I drag myself in the door between 9 or 10 (with an 8 or 8:30 start to the day) and wonder if it's worth it. This isn't every day, but often enough.

Again, sorry there were some really negative posts on this topic. Hope you find yourself in a better situation soon.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Michele -- you don't have to justify yourself, kiddo! You were looking for advice and support, nothing at all wrong with that....

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Try not to take all the comments to heart. Everyone's financial situation is different, regardless of income. Just because someone makes $XXX amount of money, doesn't mean they are swimming in cash.

We all have to make sacrifices and decide what's important to us.

For you, it might mean having a 30th bday party for your DH, but then going light on Christmas gifts to eachother.

I don't think that it matters what your salary is or if you live on LI or not.
You could live in Timbuktu and be depressed at having to decide between the cuttoffs and sleeveless plaid shirt or getting your mullet trimmed.

Eventually things all seem to work out in the end.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I just read your post and honestly when I was working in the city DH and I made well over 200K combined and there were times where we felt the same as you do.

I don't think you were crying poverty at all - just expressing your frustration. We also constantly have weddings, parties, christenings...almost every weekend is booked up with at least one party. That is where all of our money goes now.

For Christmas, can you try doing a secret santa - that way you don't have to buy for everyone? We have 12 kids that we have to buy for so I already told the adults that we are doing secret santa's for them.

I also had a 30th birthday for DH ( and I just left my job in the city at that point) don't stress over it too much - you will figure it out.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

Posted by Erin0602

Try not to take all the comments to heart. Everyone's financial situation is different, regardless of income. Just because someone makes $XXX amount of money, doesn't mean they are swimming in cash.

We all have to make sacrifices and decide what's important to us.

For you, it might mean having a 30th bday party for your DH, but then going light on Christmas gifts to eachother.

I don't think that it matters what your salary is or if you live on LI or not.
You could live in Timbuktu and be depressed at having to decide between the cuttoffs and sleeveless plaid shirt or getting your mullet trimmed.

Eventually things all seem to work out in the end.

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I'm glad I could make you laugh!

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

i understand your frustration - but people gave you honest responses - i dont think you'll find many people in your boat - FH and I have just as much student loans as you do (with no help from Dad) and we make much less than you, yet we are buying a house soon.

But I think you should take the advice of many people who posted, and go see a financial advisor. im sure they will be able to find ways for you to cut expenses / invest more wisely / have more cash!

Re: Comments for my earlier post "Im depressed"

I think what bothered me the most, was that you couldnt buy yourself a pair of Uggs that cost ONLY $123.00.

$123.00 is my cable bill for a month.

$123.00 is the cost of food for some people, weekly.

I still say that you and FH are not doing something right with your money, to have nothing left over. Nobody is bashing you, or thinking you are crying poverty.Poverty would be not being able to buy food, not going without a pair of Uggs.