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MRSE
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1420 total posts
Name:
(112903)
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Re: 9/11 widows
I don't think there is anything wrong with moving on, only that person can make the decision on their own and I don't they should be judged. If they have children they may want a somewhat normal family life.
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Posted 9/12/06 10:48 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: 9/11 widows
Peoples spouses pass away all the time and they get remarried.
People know each other for 6 months and get married.
I think everyone is different and everyone grieves differently and just because you get married and find happiness again doesnt mean that you love your old spouse any less.
You cant really judge any situation unless you are in that situation yourself.
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| Posted 9/12/06 10:52 AM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: 9/11 widows
My Mom and I were just discussing this last night. She said that she could NEVER remarry and have someone else "play Daddy" to her kids....my thoughts are just that everyone copes differently.
I can't say what I would do - but Rich said last night that GOD FORBID something happen to him, he'd want me to find happiness with someone else. I don't think I could say that to him. 
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| Posted 9/12/06 10:55 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: 9/11 widows
I think its very hard to judge something like that. There is no way for us to put ourselves in their shoes.
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| Posted 9/12/06 11:08 AM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: 9/11 widows
No way...I think its fabulous they found someone!
If the divorce rate is 50% and most people only find one true love in a lifetime.....then so many 9-11 widows getting remarried is a true miracle!
Except for the ones that stole firefighter's husbands...thats just trashy. I heard so many stories about firefighters leaving their wives and children for 9-11 widows. 
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| Posted 9/12/06 11:11 AM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: 9/11 widows
I don't think it's was too soon, people mourn and move on at different stages.
Good for them they were able to find happiness again after such a tragedy like that.
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| Posted 9/12/06 11:30 AM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by MsMitcia
I'm not going to judge, but when I saw the Post yesterday and they did a recap of a woman who lost her fiance. She made the cover of the post crying, clutching his picture five yeaars ago. They caught up with her and now she has since married, divorced, and now lives in Vegas and is in another serious relationship with a club owner. I don't know why, but it kind of bothered me.
Wow - do you remember her name, or what she looked like?
My friend Rob who passed on 9/11 was engaged to this girl Rosa, and when I spoke with Rob's sister a year later, she told me that she was already married, and to one of his close friends. Sounds like Rosa from your description.
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| Posted 9/12/06 11:31 AM |
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MsMitcia
27 dresses.?.ha..TY everyone
Member since 8/06 1527 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: 9/11 widows
I don't remember her name, but she was about 30, long blond hair. If you see that cover of the POst from 2001 you'd remember her. She was on the cover, grasping his picture, crying. I'm pretty sure her name wasn't Rosa though.
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| Posted 9/12/06 11:35 AM |
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happydays
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/06 513 total posts
Name:
working my way to 1000 posts!
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Re: 9/11 widows
I think it is hard for any of us to say, until we walk in their shoes.
Life is for the living and death is for the dead.
I just wish all these widows, widowers all the love in the world and if falling in love and marrying brought them peace, happiness and a new start, then good for them!
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| Posted 9/12/06 12:56 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
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Re: 9/11 widows
I don't think any of us would know unless we were in the situation. Everyone is different.
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:02 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 5/21/2009 10:05:53 AM.
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:28 PM |
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Jillysmom
We made it to 8 years
Member since 5/05 1134 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by lilqtny
Does anybody think that maybe the tragedy took so much out of them that they turned to other men/women to fill a void? Especially the girl who has since married and divorced and is in another serious relationship. I mean maybe it just destroyed her so horribly, emotionally, that she is on a destructive path of bad relationships.
Maybe she just settled looking for comfort and relized that she lost her soul mate and is just trying to find someone to pass through time with becasue she does not want to be alone.
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:29 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by EmilyAKAMrsK
Except for the ones that stole firefighter's husbands...thats just trashy. I heard so many stories about firefighters leaving their wives and children for 9-11 widows.
Are you serious?!?!?!
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:44 PM |
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monkadoo
Member since 5/05 1427 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by baghag
Posted by EmilyAKAMrsK
Except for the ones that stole firefighter's husbands...thats just trashy. I heard so many stories about firefighters leaving their wives and children for 9-11 widows.
Are you serious?!?!?!
Didn't Bruce Springsteen recently leave his wife for a 9/11 widow?
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:46 PM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by Jennybean
Posted by baghag
Posted by EmilyAKAMrsK
Except for the ones that stole firefighter's husbands...thats just trashy. I heard so many stories about firefighters leaving their wives and children for 9-11 widows.
Are you serious?!?!?!
Didn't Bruce Springsteen recently leave his wife for a 9/11 widow?
I think that was a rumor that he dispelled...
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:50 PM |
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Libragal07
Loving Summer.....
Member since 8/06 6636 total posts
Name:
Samantha aka Sammy Bones
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by Jennybean
Posted by baghag
Posted by EmilyAKAMrsK
Except for the ones that stole firefighter's husbands...thats just trashy. I heard so many stories about firefighters leaving their wives and children for 9-11 widows.
Are you serious?!?!?!
Didn't Bruce Springsteen recently leave his wife for a 9/11 widow?
really?? I never heard that
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:52 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: 9/11 widows
I know that none of us can honestly judge bc we are not in their shoes. I can honestly say I thought the same as Gail though when I saw that. I know that all the widows' hold their husbands in their hearts!!!!
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| Posted 9/12/06 1:54 PM |
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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by baghag
Posted by EmilyAKAMrsK
Except for the ones that stole firefighter's husbands...thats just trashy. I heard so many stories about firefighters leaving their wives and children for 9-11 widows.
Are you serious?!?!?!
i saw a dateline or something special on it....that in my opinion stinks...but who knows fate is funny sometimes!
all in all, its up to them imho.....if i was to die, i want dh to find someone new and move on....
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| Posted 9/12/06 2:00 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by LRusso
There is a new book written by four of the widows called "Love You, Mean It" that discusses their personal feelings about these things. I may pick it up. And ball my eyes out. Topics include, When is it okay to take off your ring? Is it normal to keep my husband's voice on my answering machine? How do I date again? Should I feel guilty. Each chapter is written by the women; I think they take turns writing.
I just saw them on the view- one widow was from that hamptons show a few years back- the first one- she married a trader named Chaz- he was english- I remember seeing the last episode of the hamptons show when they told you he died on 9/11-
she is the only one of the 4 that had not moved on in some way- but she had litteraly just gotten married 1 month before 9/11
as the daughter of a widower- my parents were VERY happliy married for 32 years when my Mom passed away
my Dad started dating after 6 months- he doesn't like to be alone- I could see him getting remarried in the next 3 years-
5 years is along time to be alone-
you have to do what's best for you and make the most of out your life
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| Posted 9/12/06 2:02 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: 9/11 widows
depending on how long they were married, if they had young children and what notI think 5 years is a long enough time but I think 3 yrs is too short. It can be very hard to be alone but I myself cannot picture my life with someone else at this point but I do not know how I would feel in that situation. I know that with grieveing for my mom its been 3 years and alothough my sadness does not consume me as it once did and Im able to go on with my life, it might be different with a spouse. Some women may need that every day companion in there life.
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| Posted 9/12/06 2:28 PM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by LaurenExp
Well, here's the thing.
Just because your husband/wife died in 9/11 doesn't mean that your relationship was good. Who knows the status of half of these people's relationships before the tragedy? They may have been on the verge of divorce. I don't think it's too soon, especially those men and women who are very young. As horrible as it is, it has been 5 years and they need to move on with their lives. And just because they are moving on, it doesn't mean that they've ever forgotten.
IMHO :o)
You know that is an excellent point! I never thought of it that way...
Also I saw that 20/20 about the Widows Club...my DH didn't approve of it...but I think they felt it was the right time to move on...who is anyone to say how long to wait
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| Posted 9/12/06 5:08 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by lilqtny
Does anybody think that maybe the tragedy took so much out of them that they turned to other men/women to fill a void? Especially the girl who has since married and divorced and is in another serious relationship. I mean maybe it just destroyed her so horribly, emotionally, that she is on a destructive path of bad relationships.
That's kinds of what I thought. I think that kind of tragedy can really screw a person up.
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| Posted 9/12/06 5:27 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: 9/11 widows
Posted by Kissy331
I know that none of us can honestly judge bc we are not in their shoes. I can honestly say I thought the same as Gail though when I saw that. I know that all the widows' hold their husbands in their hearts!!!!
of course they would. dh was just talking. i'm not judging them. until i'm in the situation, i wouldn't judge. god forbid i'm ever in a situation like that, i don't know what i would do
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| Posted 9/12/06 7:08 PM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: 9/11 widows
The bottom line is...life goes on.
My uncle has had a girlfriend for over a year and that's just fine with my grandmother (it was her daughter who was lost at the WTC). As a matter of fact, she told him that my aunt wouldn't want him to be alone and that it was ok to love another woman.
His kids...that's another issue. They resent any woman who isn't their mother, but hopefully they'll warm up to the idea of their dad having a companion.
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| Posted 9/12/06 7:13 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: 9/11 widows
My SIL best friend is getting married on New Year's Eve. She lost her DH in the towers. Its a very unique situation and we are so happy she has someone to love. Her FH is one of my brother's friends and they met through my SIL and brother. He is very understanding about her feelings towards her prior Dh and I think that is what makes this work.
She has not just moved on however. She was at all the memorials yesterday and is still actively involved as a widow. I think it really depends on the person they marry and that they respect that loss as different from any prior relationship, like a divorce.
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| Posted 9/12/06 7:16 PM |
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