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Sweetpea130000
My Love!
Member since 5/05 2375 total posts
Name:
Shandra
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Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
I got this in an email and thought it was good to remember
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It
depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing
on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything.
That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there;
doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become
a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it
happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive
you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the
right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the
love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for
their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few
years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes
WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things
you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you
can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.
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Posted 11/14/06 12:50 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Oh my God that was so beautiful and true- it brought tears to my eyes.
I needed that today! Thank you!
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| Posted 11/14/06 12:59 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Excellent post!
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:00 PM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
that is great...good thing to keep on hand for those rough patches we all face
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:03 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
That is a wonderful post!!! You could not get any closer to the truth
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:04 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Wow, great post!
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:05 PM |
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
That was a very good read, Thank you.
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:08 PM |
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TreAnt427
-
Member since 8/06 8652 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Thats really nice 
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:09 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
I am printing this out and putting it on my fridge 
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:10 PM |
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Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Great post! thanks for sharing!
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:14 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
So true!
Message edited 11/14/2006 1:14:35 PM.
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:14 PM |
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Bellabear
1000 posts...FINALLY
Member since 11/06 1161 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
this is great! 
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:16 PM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Thanks for sharing!!!! Great posts.
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:17 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
That was great! I'm going to give it to DH to read, too!
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:17 PM |
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Sweetpea130000
My Love!
Member since 5/05 2375 total posts
Name:
Shandra
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
you're welcome all. I have to thank my friend that passed it on to me
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:28 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Great post!!
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:48 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:54 PM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Perfectly put!
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| Posted 11/14/06 1:59 PM |
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Ladybug63
Ohh... baby
Member since 5/06 2527 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
What Truth!!!
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| Posted 11/14/06 2:04 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Emailing it to DH, he thinks we're getting stale......
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| Posted 11/14/06 2:05 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
This was the best post I have read in a long time!
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| Posted 11/14/06 2:05 PM |
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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Wow, I needed that too. Thanks!!!!
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| Posted 11/14/06 2:20 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
so true- thanks for posting that
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| Posted 11/14/06 2:27 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
Great post!
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| Posted 11/14/06 2:30 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did I Marry the Right Person? - A good read for married and single
oh wow, thank you so much for posting that. I really enjoyed reading it!
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| Posted 11/14/06 3:25 PM |
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