PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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*Pennycat's IVF Journal* It's over. Final journal update 5/7/11
I thought I'd start this because everyone else seems to!  Feels like a rite of passage for starting this whole process!
ME: 26
DH: 28
TTC: Started 16 months ago
DIAGNOSES: PCOS, 3 types of clotting issues (APA, ANA, elevated thyroid antibodies), and bad luck (if that counts)  I also historically have had issues with my lining and possibly egg quality though only IVF will get to the root of that.
Timeline:
11/09: Went off bcp after 10yrs
1/10: Decided to see Dr.B because I never got AF after coming off the pill and knew from when I was a teenager I had PCOS. I figured I'd see him sooner and get the ball rolling since I KNEW I was going to have issues.
2/10: Testing ... experimenting with dosages.. protocols..... you know how it is. I didn't respond to femara alone at all and needed femara and gonal-f to stim for all my cycles.
3/10: First IUI cycle 2 follies, BFN (femara, gonal-f, dexamethasone, estrace, ovidrel, progesterone supps)
4/10: Second IUI cycle 4 follies, BFN (femara, gonal-f, dexamethasone, estrace, ovidrel, crinone)
5/10: Third IUI cycle 3 follies, BFP! (singleton) (femara, gonal-f, dexamethasone, metformin estrace, vitamin e, ovidrel, crinone)
8/10: Complications.  Absolutely devastating. I lost my son. 17wk3d. We named him Jack.
8/10-10/10: Forced 8 wk break because of loss, body needed time to physically heal (emotionally heal too, though I don't think that ever REALLY happens  )
11/10: First IUI cycle 5 follies, BFN (femara, gonal-f, dexamethasone, metformin estrace, vitamin e, ovidrel, crinone)
12/10: Second IUI cycle 5 follies, BFN- Started out complicated, wasn't responding to gonal-f, increased the dosage, lots of monitoring, leftover follies at CD3 appt and had to go on the pill. Forced month off. (femara, gonal-f, dexamethasone, metformin, vitamin e, estrace, ovidrel, crinone)
1/10: Third IUI cycle 5 follies, BFP, chemical (Beta: 15, progesterone: 5...... followup beta..... 10) (femara, gonal-f, dexamethasone, metformin, vitamin e, estrace, ovidrel, viagra supps- for lining, crinone). Started pill to bring down inflamation from chemical and prepare for possible IVF.
2/10: Testing done to find out the cause of chemical. 3 types of clotting issues. Started baby aspirin everyday and will be on lovenox throughout entire pregnancy. Ultimately we discussed next steps and IVF seems like our next best option since I stim with so many follies and keep getting BFNs. This will give us more info about my eggs, etc. We are hoping this gives us the BFP we need to get on with our lives already. I can't believe so many months post-loss we are still on this journey. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am, but the truth is I have no choice.
We were going to start stims a few weeks ago. Since Dr.B is switching labs to work with Dr.Batzofin, I decided to give the new lab. Due to scheduling issues, this meant delaying the cycle by 2 1/2wks. I figured I've been on this journey so long already, what's another few weeks?
3.9.11
Going to Dr.B and will hopefully be told I can stop the pill and start stims a few days later.
3.8.11
I went to Dr.B a day earlier than planned because of a schedule issue on my end. Works for me....... I'm getting started one day sooner!  I will be starting stims on Saturday. Here is what I have so far:
Tonight- last bcp!!
3.12.11 & 3.13.11
Gonal-f 300ius- pm
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
Baby aspirin
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
3.14.11 & 3.15.11
Gonal-f 300ius- pm
Luveris .5cc- pm
Metformin
Dexamathasone .75
Baby aspirin
vitamin e 600 ius
viagra supps- am and pm
3.16.11
Monitoring day!
So .... I wasn't expecting much from today's appointment since I know the first monitoring appointment isn't all that exciting... but there were many small follies in each ovary! They weren't exactly measureable yet, but we're getting somewhere! I go back on Friday.
I have to say, I'm finding all this IVF stuff so intimidating. While I used to in a strange way look forward to my injects at night (I know.. totally weird ) I now get sad when the clock strikes 10 and I know it's that time again....... Where in last cycles it felt like routine, it's now just starting to feel totally abnormal. I CAN'T BELIEVE there are people who conceive without injects!  Anyway, I'm trying to keep my head up and remember that this is all for a good thing.
So, the protocol is ......
Tonight:
Gonal-f 300ius- pm
Luveris .5cc- pm
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
Baby aspirin
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
3.17.11
Ganirlelix (this is the one thing we are adding since the last appt)
Gonal-f 300ius- pm
Luveris .5cc- pm
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
Baby aspirin
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
3.18.11
Monitoring Day!
Much of the same today....increase gonal and luveris... Lining looked great so far! (thanks viagra and acupuncture!!  ) Other than that not much to report. Sorry if this is remotely lame, but I DID find out I'll probably have the ER Thursday or Friday!! By the way........ can someone please calm my nerves about that?!
Here's tonight's protocol.
Doxycycline
Ganirlelix
Gonal-f 375ius- pm
Luveris 1ml- pm
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
Baby aspirin (last one till after transfer!!)
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
3.19.11 - 3.20.11
Doxycycline
Ganirlelix
Gonal-f 375ius- pm
Luveris 1ml- pm
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
3.21.11
Monitoring Day!
LOTS OF FOLLIES which were between 11-14mm today! Predicted ER date is Friday. Oh and more good news, my lining looks great so far It's in the 8s which is better than it has ever been!!
My e2 from Saturday came back at 620 but today it was 1866 which I'm told is a good increase and I get to lower the dose of gonal tonight and go back for more bloodwork and a sono tomorrow. I'm excited that things are really moving along!!
Doxycycline
Ganirlelix
Gonal-f 225ius- pm
Luveris 1ml- pm
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
By the way.......... as some of you may have seen from my post over the weekend, I learned you must ALWAYS double check your prescription deliveries! I was delivered e2v suppositories instead of viagra and through many phone calls/emails, etc I was able to get it corrected. Freedom use to be so good but this was my second issue with them in a row!
3.22.11
Monitoring Day!
Looks like we have a HIGH likelihood of a ER Friday!! I had 20 something follies in the 14-19 range today! And.. for the award winning news.... my lining is the BEST EVER at 9.1  Sandra said everything progressed really well. I go back tomorrow for another sono/bloodwork and then we'll know for sure when my ER date will be... although it seems like we already know.
I can't believe we made it this far already, it feels like I was just on the pill!!
Here's the protocol for tonight: (only thing that changed is the gonal. I get to take a little less tonight)
Doxycycline
Ganirlelix
Gonal-f 150ius- pm
Luveris 1ml- pm
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
3.23.11
Monitoring Day!
I was driving home from work today when it sunk in. I COULD BE PREGNANT IN TWO WEEKS! I am just so hopeful that this is it! The idea of any other possibility makes me feel sick inside. I've been through such devastation in this whole process, I just want to get pregnant and STAY PREGNANT with a healthy baby and uneventful pregnancy! I never thought that would feel like too much to ask for!
Well, onto the good stuff- I have A LOT of follicles. I don't know the exact count but really it doesn't matter. What matters is there are a lot there and when they get the eggs we'll see how they fertilize, etc. My e2 yesterday went up to 3125 which is apparently a good rise. My lining is a 9.2. The ER will be Friday and I'm so excited to update with how many eggs they got!
I'm a bit nervous for the ER just because I get anxious before medical procedures, especially where I'll be put out. Aside from that, the PIO scares the sh!t out of me! Oh .. but the biggest fear of all .. my beta.
I'm triggering this evening with lupron ...... OOOOOOMMMMMGGGGG this is sooooooo real!
Today:
Doxycycline
Ganirlelix (last)
Metformin
Dexamethasone .75
vitamin e 600ius
viagra supps- am and pm
LUPRON TRIGGER!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and before I forget to mention .... another LIF reunion in the waiting room today...... I saw javajunkie I was wondering when I was going to run into one of you ladies considering I've been going for monitoring every day!!  I'd like to consider running into another LIFer a symbol of good luck. So, for that Louis, thank you! 
3.25.11
First of all, I just want to say how amazing everyone on here is! Words can't express what it's like to get the support of everyone on this board, etc. and I appreciate it IMMENSELY!  I actually sat in the waiting room reallllly nervous and went on LIF on my blackberry and it was truly amazing to see everyone's posts!!
So.. now for the update..
First of all, I just want to make a note that to anyone who will be using Dr.Batzofin's lab you are all in GREAT hands! The were absolutely WONDERFUL! The bedside manner of literally EVERYONE I encountered really far surpassed my expectations! For anyone who doesn't know.. when I had my D&E, the bedside manner of people at the hospital was literally nonexistant. As though that wasn't traumatizing enough already, the horrible bedside manner made it worse. Needless to say, I left Dr.Batzofin's facility VERY pleased.
Well..... I had 35 follies. The surprising news..... Of those 35, only 9 had eggs. I was actually really shocked and although I know 9 is still a good number, I just had much higher expectations since I knew there were so many follies.
Now just like everything IF-related, we just sit and wait for Dr.B to call me tomorrow with the fert. report. Since we had 9, they did ICSI on all of them. I just feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles right now waiting for a good update. Thankfully my DH has no sperm issues that we are dealing with so as long as the egg quality is good, we'll be in good shape. I just don't know what to think right now. I'm just trying really hard to remain positive.. or at least neutral, for now. I'm SOOO nervous for the fert. report, I'm just glad I'll know it within the next 24 hours!!
And so the waiting continues.........
3.26.11
Of the 35 follicles... 9 were retrieved... 8 were mature..... and 6 fertilized.
We are probably doing a 3 day transfer.
This is sooo much different than we had originally planned. I just hope those little ones make it to day 3 now
Another update just for some comic relief... I want to add that yesterday at the ER, they were walking me to the recovery room and I was just coming out of anesthesia. They told me to walk like Frankenstein. My response "I am so much prettier than Frankenstein"  Looks like my subconcious thinks pretty highly of myself!
3.27.11
3 day transfer tomorrow!!
I will soooo be acting like I'm pregnant until the beta (and hopefully for the next 9 months!!) 
3.28.11
The transfer was AMAZING!!!  I saw my embies on the screen in the lab and then the embryologist brought them in and I saw them on the sono go inside. Absolutely incredible moment!!
On a side note, I just have to say that symbolically this was was just a really special feeling. I don't want to bring up the past and bring back sadness... but I will never forget the feeling of burying my son. I remember getting in the car after and driving away with my DH from the cemetery and it was just the essence of absolutely helpless and horrible.
Today......... I took my embies with me. Instead of leaving them, I took them with me. I'm in love already. I just really hope this works!! I'm working had at balancing being hopeful .. optimistic... yet realistic at the same time.
And now ........ may I present to you ............... the troop!
Edited this morning to add a picture of this fortune I got a few weeks ago.
4.7.11
BETA DAY!!!!!!!
It's a few days short of beta day 8dp3dt and I tested this morning and got a very faint bfp!!!!!!!!! Of course I had to test again tonight and the line got darker and positive on the digital. I know I still need to wait for the beta, etc but OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4.6.11
Backtracking since I went for a beta a day early ... hence while the dates in this journal are a little wacky.
I went this morning at 9dp3dt and beta was 64, progesterone was 75. Dr.B said that's perfect for 9 days post transfer. I'm going for the second beta Friday
I'm honestly surprised the numbers were as high as they were just because I knew I went early and the sticks weren't super dark. I'm so nervous for the numbers to double Friday and then for the 3rd beta (he said he does 3 now) next Tuesday.
This doesn't feel real!!!!!!! I wanted this so bad that it feels too good to be true!
4.8.11
Beta 64 --> 170 Today is 11dp3dt(14dpo)
Another beta on Monday!! (Shouldn't I be used to waiting by now?! )
4.11.11
Beta today (14dp3dt, 17dpo) was 642 and progesterone was 77!!!!!!!! Dr.B says both are perfect and I could make the appointment for the 6wk sono! I have already started a countdown.. 11 days till my sono.
Ever since everything happened with my son, making it to that day was such a huge goal of mine (besides of course making it past 17wk3d).
It's starting to sink in!!!
4.22.11
6wk sonogram
Update: I was VERY nervous for this day. I sat in the waiting room with my heart pounding hoping that we would see at least ONE heartbeat and really, that's all I expected to see. Based on my betas and my high, though not CRAZY HIGH progesterone, I wasn't expecting to see more than one baby.
Well, Sandra started the sono and right away, she pointed out one heartbeat to us. After the excitement set in, I asked if there were anymore. She looked around .. and in that SAME SAC, she saw another heartbeat. So at this point, we were told we were having IDENTICAL TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, jokingly, I asked if there were any others. I was truly only kidding around. She of course said she was going to look...... and there it was. Another sac, with one heartbeat.
So, I am totally SHOCKED and SOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED to announce this... but I am pregnant with TRIPLETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  One set of identical twins, and a third baby. We put back 3 embies on day 3, two took and one split.
I know it's still early and we're going back next week to hopefully see them again and get a clearer picture but WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're very cautiously excited and totally stunned!!!!!!!! Sandra says this is very rare. I guess like everything else that has happened to us along this journey, it makes sense if it's very rare that it happened to us!! It's amazing to finally be celebrating this miracle.
Here is a picture of the newest members of my family I cautiously.. yet proudly introduce to you ... my babies
You will see two sacs, but the sac on the bottom has two babies. One is up high and the other is on the bottom.
4.29.11
I wasn't going to update the board until tomorrow but figured I'd put the word out there because prayers could only help.
We were told at Wednesday's sono that the singleton had a good heart rate, but the identicals were lagging behind and had much lower heartbeats. Dr.B said this isn't uncommon for identicals and we would have to wait and see what happens. They were measuring well, etc. I made another appt for a sono for Saturday (tomorrow).
As it turns out, tonight I was feeling crampy, which I didn't think much of until I went to the bathroom and started to spot/bleed.
After our last sono, I started to come to terms with the fact that we may have ONE baby and that is more than enough.. That is what I prayed for but this cramping and bleeding has me so on edge about what tomorrow's appointment will bring and I hope at least one of them is healthy and doing well. Of course I'm sitting here imaging the worst.
My appointment is in the morning so I should have an update by noon or so.
ETA 11pm: saw clots. I'm speechless. Pray this hasn't effected my singleton
7:30am: I can't believe after all the bleeding and clotting that it has started to taper off. I imagine that's a really good sign.. I'm leaving now for Dr.B in the city!!
4.30.11
I'm briefly updating because I am going back to sleep!! The sono went great!!! Once the bleeding started to taper off I wasn't quite as nervous but still had no idea what to expect. Dr.B saw the cause of the bleeding and said it was coming from a blood clot that was nowhere near any of the babies. I was told to take it easy the next few days.
The baby in the single sac is going just as strong as last time and its heartbeat is still in a perfect range!!
One of the idenitcals improved A LOT from last time and it's heartbeat is currently in a perfect range!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other identical improved, but is still slower than we would like. We're still watching it and Dr.B said he still has a good feeling. All of the babies look about the same size!!
Thank you sooooooo much ladies for the tremendous support that I know I can always rely on. I was so scared going into it after that bleeding/clotting episode, but it goes to show you can never jump to conclusions!! At least for now, I can breathe 
I am soooo relieved. Of course I am still feeling VERY cautiously optimistic, but I don't think that "cautious" feeling will ever go away!!
5.4.11
Subchorionic hematoma broke through both sacs and I lost all 3 babies.
I have nothing left to say. I feel sick.
5.7.11
I thought I'd end this journal with my final update for the cycle. I have to say... it's so weird that everything happened when it did. It was THIS DAY last year that I tested positive with my first pregnancy. The very next day, I told my mom she was going to be a grandmother. It was such an exciting time where I never imagined ANYTHING could go wrong. Even having gone through rounds of fertility treatments and hearing about losses, I still had the "couldn't possibly happen to ME" mentality Anyway.. Little did I know, a year later I'd be reflecting on a 17wk loss, a chemical, and the loss of my triplets...... plus all the crazy cycles/waiting/emotional and physical tolls of fertility treatments in between. I can't believe this day a year ago I was celebrating.. and today I grieve the loss of more babies.
Anyway..... I had my D&C yesterday at Good Sam. I have to say........ I can't wait to deliver there eventually. My experience was TOP NOTCH- considering it was a hospital and the very last place in the world I wanted to be. I went in crying and shaking but the nurses were so comforting and I was really blessed with a terrific staff from beginning to end.
After the D&C I went to recovery and immediately asked for my DH and they got him for me right away. This was completely different from last year at my D&E, where they gave me hard time and I couldn't see him for an hour and a half because that wasn't "standard procedure" ... and of course they couldn't make any exceptions for the couple who just lost their son. That was at Mt.Sinai.
Anyway, the nurse in recovery was truly meant to be with us. We chatted a little and she asked how far along I was with the triplets.... I told her, and said how it wasn't our first loss, wand we lost another baby at 17wks a year ago, all through fertility treatments. As it turns out, she lost TRIPLETS (identicals and a singleton ) at 18wks after IVF. We shared stories about our losses and she showed me a picture of her very healthy 3 year old son. My DH thanked her after for talking to us and sharing her journey and she seemed really touched that she could help. Before going in yesterday, I told my DH I never wanted to try again. He said this wasn't the time to make big decisions like that and to just get through this first... but I said no .. and that I wanted this all to be fresh in my mind when I make the decision so I don't make the mistake of trying to get pregnant again, only to get punished in the end Talking to that nurse completely changed my perspective. We left the hospital, and I told my DH I think I'd like to try again over the summer. Needless to say, he was thrilled.
Anyway, I don't want to drag this on much longer.. but I do want to thank everyone for all the kind words here......... the post on pregnancy............ I heard rumors that there was also a facebook thread. I am so touched by the support of everyone on this site. Everyone's heartfelt FMs were all comforting.. touching.. inspiring.. each in their own way- and I will be getting back to all of you in the next few days!!
As hard as this journey has been, I know it would be a completely different experience without the support of everyone on here. So, I just want to say a big thank you to everyone.. because despite everything we have been through in the last year, I really do feel very.. very.. lucky.
Stay tuned for the next IVF journal, coming Summer of 2011
Message edited 5/7/2011 11:35:09 AM.
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