A lurker with a question

DH and I are not trying but I often lurk on this board. We have been married almost a year, DH is 36 and I'm 26. We have talked about trying but I'm scared because I'm in the middle of a career change. I will be going back to school in May for my Masters in teaching, but won't be done till 2008-9. We also just bought a big new house that we are moving in to. I'm on the fence and don't know what to do.

When did you know you were ready?

Re: A lurker with a question

Honestly, I knew as soon as we got married, we were going to start trying. I am 31 and DH is 39, so we didn't see a need to wait.

We got married in October, found out we were pregnant in January, are in the process of buying a house and will be moving in 1 month, and will have the baby in September.

I think it all depends on how you feel. Good luck with your decision! I really don't know if there is ever a perfect time to have a baby... there is always something going on!

Re: A lurker with a question

Dh and I have been together 9 years, 3 years married, I am on my second child.

When we first decided to TTC, we already bought, but that really wasn't a factor.

We just knew we were ready and could manage financially and within our careers.

DH is finishing up his second masters-mba, and was in school and working full time while i was pg both times and after dd's birth.

You just manage, what's important is to be ready emotionally and within your relationship. Having a baby is very trying on your marriage and a good foundation and communication skills are important in my opinion.

It was hard in the beginning, but we are stronger than we ever were.

Re: A lurker with a question

I am currently in Grad school and we actually got pregnant not planned. We had thought that would not have children for years to come. But it made me learn that there is no perfect time or being ready. When we find out we were nervous but then you are filled with such joy that you just could not be happier.

Re: A lurker with a question

All of our friends keep telling us "you are never ready". My DH is a cop, and most of his friends have teenagers already and here he is with no kids....they all joke about it. I am very nervous. I know how trying it is on a marriage. Your advice really helps me figure things out!!

Re: A lurker with a question

Honestly, I think that if you analyze everything you will never be really "ready" for it. Although I will say that going to school while PG can be difficult, especially if you are working at the same time. (My friend at work was finishing her Masters when she found out she was PG & thank goodness it was her final semester & had a light schedule or she would have had to take time off).

I think only you & DH will know when it is right for you & no matter what you will do what you can to make it the right time when it comes. KWIM?

Good Luck

Re: A lurker with a question

we are young i am 25 and he is 27, but dh did not want to be the old guy with the kid, so we started trying a month after we were married, we just moved but not looking to buy just yet, but we both have great jobs and i am going back to school for a different masters starting in sept. when the baby will only be 5 months and i won't be done till 2009............

u kinda just know when u are ready!!

Re: A lurker with a question

I'm 29 and DH is 30 and we will both be the same age when our baby is born. We have been together for 10 years and will be married for 4 when the baby is born.

The most important thing to me was having time to spend as a married couple before having kids which obviously changes everything together. We started trying as soon as we felt ready to not just be the two of us anymore - and luckily we were blessed right away.

As far as the career thing goes - its not easy to find that right time. If I waited for it, I would be in my mid-30's and for many reasons I did not want to wait that long. I think it is an extremely personal choice that you have to make based on what feels right to you

Re: A lurker with a question

Thanks everyone, I feel much better!!!

Re: A lurker with a question

We started ttc about 3 months after our wedding. We will celebrate our 5th anniversary in August with the birth of our 3rd child.

I agree that you are never really "ready", although for us, we really felt that "tick tick tick" of the clock... I wanted desperately to be pregnant by the time we started trying.

I am 31 btw.