AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, this is @#$%^ INSANE!!!!

So as most of your know DSD is turning 16 and DH and I are giving her a big sweet 16. We are spending a small fortune, no detail is being spared and BM said from the beginning she wanted nothing to do with it financially which it fine by us. DSD told both of her parents that she wanted to plan it only with ME because "Kelly's the best party planner"
So for the past 8 months I've spent countless hours with or without DSD researching vendors, hiring vendors, creating an awesome theme with a million little details. BM has told SD a million times "a big party is stupid" "why do you even want a party" "you don't deserve a party" and a million other things a mother should never say to their daughter!
The ONLY conrtibution BM is making is buying her the dress. We offered, she insisted but has b*tched to DH and SD a million times that she doesn't have $500 for a dress.
SD wants two dresses, a formal party dress like this and it HAS to be turquiose to match her colors

SD is only 5' tall and a little thicker than a dress model and she's never shopped for or worn a gown like this before, I know from experience this is not an off the rack item.
And then after the ceremonies and a bunch of pictures with the $$$$ photographer I hired she's changing into a little black club dress which she already has.

Now we are less than 3 weeks away from the party, and yes you guessed it SD STILL doesn't have an effing dress!!
BM took her to two bridal shops in Lynbrook (because GOD FORBID she leaves that town), neither of them had anything SD liked and it all had to be ordered-no surprise there.
So today SD & BM are supposed to go dress shopping (4 days before New Years is always the best time to shop for formal wear ) And this morning I woke up to realize that my darling step-daughter stayed up till AT LEAST 4am (at BMs house) according to the last posts on her facebook. So now I KNOW SD, she is going to sleep ALL DAY and BM will let her. So there goes dress shopping AGAIN. And as a sidebar SD's aunt is visiting at BMs till today and offered to do SD's hair for the party and practice this weekend while she's visiting, well she's leaving today and since SD will be sleeping the effing hair trial won't happen either!!!!!
I'm so ****** I could spit nails!!!

I swear BM doesn't want SD to have the right dress, in fact she doesn't even want her to have the party!!!
I offered 30 times to take SD for the dress but on her mothers empty promises she kept saying "no, my Mom WANTS to take me"
Who waits till three weeks before a big event to buy a dress????????
SD has been having trouble with being late for 1st period because she can't get up in the morning, but yet BM thinks it a good idea to let SD stay up every night during this break and sleep all day???? No doubt, she will be late at least once when school starts.
Its like BM WANTS SD to fail at everything, I'm ready to pull my hair out, DH and I are doing EVERYTHING to help this kid succeed and we get sabotaged every step of the way!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



please don't quote

Re: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, this is @#$%^ INSANE!!!!

I have to deal with a BM who has no regard for her own daughter as well. Honestly, I would just get the dress yourself. Estelle's might be a nice option too, look into it Good luck! You are so sweet for caring so much that SD has a perfect day

Re: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, this is @#$%^ INSANE!!!!

I dont have stepkids so I'm crashing but if DSD is turning 16, she'll learn soon enough that she can't rely on her mother and it's better if she finds that out for herself. I would just let her know that time is getting tight so such and such date is her last chance for a dress and to let you know if she wants you to take her.

There's also a dress store in the mall on Sunrise in Massapequa down near Macy's. They always have huge gowns like that. Or Pzazz in Centereach, but they're a little more expensive.