? about my little bro and bully

Ok, just curious how you all feel about this.

My little brother is 6. He is very shy and quiet. Although he is coming along with his social skills.
Anyway, he's also pretty small and all.
So it turns out some other kid has been bullying him. He is always taking Joeys (my bro) pencil case and stuff out of his cubby hole and slamming everythign on the ground for Joey to have to pick up and stuff.
Of course the teacher sees NOTHING even though its been going on everyday for however long.....
So one of the last days of school Joey is like "DON'T throw down my stuff" and the kid is like "Ok, i promise i wont"
and of COURSE he does!......
So..... Joey punched him!
And he got in alot of trouble.

I hate to say it, but i'm HAPPY he did it too.
of course it was useless for my mom to write teh teacher a note b/c scholl was done the next day......

but, how would YOU deal with a situation like that?

Joey didnt get introuble with my mom. She was also kinda happy as well.
Not we encourage hitting or anything of that matter, but he has been bullied for so long.
He knows not to just pop someone. But it was in a way defending himself.
I know alot of people are going to flame me for saying he should NEVER hit someone.
but i personally cant really see that as being 100% realistic.

So i guess im just wondering ifyou're kid was being bullied and he finally had enough and hit the bully would he get in more trouble with you at home?
(keep in mind the teacher doesnt step in)

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Yes.
He would get in trouble.
Because physical violence isn't an option.
Defending yourself is one thing- but hitting b/c someone takes your stuff isn't defense.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

although it isn't looked favorably upon...But i think that bullies take advantage of people that they know they can bully.
Teling a teacher never does anything but make the situation worse...

I think it is great he defended himself and hopefully the kid learned a lesson on who not to pick on.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

thats pretty much how i feel.

not that it is "right" to hit, of course its not..
BUT at least next year he wont be bullied by this kid coming home upset every single day fom school.

we were VERY surprised he even did this; but we really couldnt punish him. my mom had a talk with him.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

nah actually we laugh about it all the time...And it taught me to stick up for myself. I think it was a valuable lesson!

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

I don't agree with violence really, but I think if I were in the same situation, I would have done what your brother did.

Of course, i would always recommend talking to the teacher first.....
I can't see everything that is going on in my classroom at all times - but if someone brings it to my attention, I make a point to watch for bullying and punish the offender.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

I can't help but think often the bigger kid would've punched him back though, and probably harder. Or waited until after school and beat him up outside.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

OMG your little brother & my daughter need to go to Self Defense classes!! She's a good kid & DH and I always taught her to be caring & nice to everyone. Well, before school was over she told me that her classmate grabbed her hands and squeezed them until she cried. I was so angry because she said to me "I guess I have to get used to it!" I sat her down and told her that she should never hit, but if someone is bothering her or picking on her to hit them back!!! That is just so mean...kids can be so cruel!

I'm glad your brother stood up for himself. I bought my daughter a book called The Bully by Mercer Meyer. It teaches kids about bullies and standing up for themselves.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Did you mother make an effort to talk to the school/teachers/ or other kids parents?

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Why would the teacher do nothing though? Did your mom talk to the teacher on more than one occasion? I know my sons teachers frown upon bullying. I don't think your son should have hit the other kid, it might have made him feel better now, but he got caught and got in trouble. Whats to say the other kid isn't going to start getting physical now, next school year?

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

I don't believe in hitting at all, but this kid really pushed your brother to do this. The bully just kept building and building frustration up in your brother and he just couldn't take it any more. He exploded!! I was in a similar situation when I was younger. Some stupid girl kept picking on me and picking on me and one day I just lost it and whacked her over the head with a trophy I had brought to school for show and tell. Needless to say, she never did it again. Sometimes, bullies need to be put in their place. Just make sure your brother understands that it is wrong to hit and that if a situation arises like that again he should make repeated efforts to tell someone and get their attention, before resorting to hitting next time!!

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

I'd let John handle this one, if it happens to our kid.

Only because I know that my reaction is wrong. I think it's great that your brother hit him. If I were a kid and I saw what was happening, I probably would have rooted him on while chanting "beat his azz, BEAT HIS AZZ"

But, like I said, I know that's the wrong answer.

I would, however, make SURE that I informed the teacher that a child had been harassing another student for quite some time. Then, I'd ask her what exactly she does during the time the children are at the cubbies. I'd ask her if she thought it might be worth watching them while they're there, since so much trauma is happening.

See, this is why my kids need to go to private school. I think I'll cause too much trouble, either way. So, I will let John handle these things.

eta: I answered "other". Looks like I'm the only one

Message edited 6/28/2005 5:15:08 PM.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Posted by Palebride

Posted by suvenR

I would, however, make SURE that I informed the teacher that a child had been harassing another student for quite some time. Then, I'd ask her what exactly she does during the time the children are at the cubbies. I'd ask her if she thought it might be worth watching them while they're there, since so much trauma is happening.

i would be careful of phrasing the questions quite like that.....it may seem like you are accusing the teacher of not doing his/her job. And, as a teacher, I would certainly be offended by that sort of thing.
There is no way a teacher can possibly see everything going on in a classroom at all times - no matter how hard he/she tries

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

I agree that the teacher should be aware of it - but certain kids are VERY good at bullying others only when they know it's safe. In order to make sure, it is sometimes necessary to talk to the teacher to make sure he/she is aware.
Remember - there are a lot of kids in these clases, and teachers can't give each and every one of them 100% attention 100% of the time.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Posted by Palebride

Posted by suvenR


I was somewhat kidding. I wouldn't phrase it that way, but I would let it be known that I think the teacher should be paying closer attention. This was not a 1 time occurance. It seems to have been happening every day. I think the teacher should have been watching at least once or twice

i think I'm just really sensitive because I had a bully in one of my classes this year and I could sense he was doing/saying things, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never really catch him doing any of it. I watched him like a hawk....but he was too good.
Then one day, this adorable little overweight boy asked if I could change his seat to be far away from the bully kid....and I felt terribly - like I had let him down by not noticing or doing anything about it sooner.
Once I changed the seating chart in the class, the little boy looked so much happier in class.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

I would never punish my 6 yr old for that. I think I would tell him/her I was glad they stuck up for themselves and try to explain how to do it next time by not hitting. But A 6 yr old cant really truly understand not to hit someone who is doing that to him. I would think he would be so upset already that he HAD to...

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

Posted by LadyLainez

OMG your little brother & my daughter need to go to Self Defense classes!! She's a good kid & DH and I always taught her to be caring & nice to everyone. Well, before school was over she told me that her classmate grabbed her hands and squeezed them until she cried. I was so angry because she said to me "I guess I have to get used to it!" I sat her down and told her that she should never hit, but if someone is bothering her or picking on her to hit them back!!! That is just so mean...kids can be so cruel!

I'm glad your brother stood up for himself. I bought my daughter a book called The Bully by Mercer Meyer. It teaches kids about bullies and standing up for themselves.

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

As far as the teacher thing... i honestly dont know.
Im not sure if my mom brought it up to her earlier or not. But i DO know it happened the same time everyday.
so, i am not sure....
but she didnt say anythign to the teacher after my brother hit him b/c scholl was over the next day.


It was so pitiful he told her "i had to put my head on the desk" and he cried!

Re: ? about my little bro and bully

My niece has been dealing with a bully who basically tried to choke her. She was a bit afraid of him but did hit back (she ended up with bruises along her neck). While my BIL and sister explained that hitting is not what children should be doing, they did instruct her to fight back and defend herself. They then spoke with her teacher and the school principal to let them know they gave her this permission to do what was necessary. My niece is not a weakling and knows how to take care of herself and still bullies are a problem at her school in Manhattan.

I have to say I am very happy that your brother defended himself whether people condone fighting back or not.