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busymomonli
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Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
I don't have any advice really, just wanted to say I can sympathize because I am going through something very similar right now, but with alcohol not drugs. I feel helpless, but at this point any help is enabling him.
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Posted 1/28/14 5:00 PM  |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Posted by busymomonli
I don't have any advice really, just wanted to say I can sympathize because I am going through something very similar right now, but with alcohol not drugs. I feel helpless, but at this point any help is enabling him.
I'm so sorry - I completely understand where you are at... Please check out al-anon if you haven't already / it really makes a world of difference.
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| Posted 1/28/14 5:01 PM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
I believe he's pro se. I'm going to try to find out details and who to write too.
To me.. He shouldn't be free. He's a danger to others on road even. I may sound heartless but I don't want him dead OR harming an innocent person.
Latest charge other day is fleeing from police and possession. I pray this is it and he goes to jail.
Jail will likely be the best place for him at this point.
I respectfully disagree. I have issues with family members too, and from what I know, it's as easy to get drugs in prison as in the outside world. 
I don't know how you'd go about trying to get court-ordered rehab instead of a jail sentence though. One family member of mine had a year's stint in jail followed by another year in a court-ordered halfway house. This was in another state though; don't know how they do it in NY.
Message edited 1/28/2014 5:34:24 PM.
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| Posted 1/28/14 5:32 PM |
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Posted by SummerMom
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
I believe he's pro se. I'm going to try to find out details and who to write too.
To me.. He shouldn't be free. He's a danger to others on road even. I may sound heartless but I don't want him dead OR harming an innocent person.
Latest charge other day is fleeing from police and possession. I pray this is it and he goes to jail.
Jail will likely be the best place for him at this point.
I respectfully disagree. I have issues with family members too, and from what I know, it's as easy to get drugs in prison as in the outside world.
I don't know how you'd go about trying to get court-ordered rehab instead of a jail sentence though. One family member of mine had a year's stint in jail followed by another year in a court-ordered halfway house. This was in another state though; don't know how they do it in NY.
Yeah but in jail, at least he can't hurt anyone else (except your family emotionally).
OP sorry you are going through this.
The mental health system is really broken now and not an answer either IMHO.
Message edited 1/28/2014 6:14:20 PM.
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| Posted 1/28/14 6:13 PM |
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sunnyplus3
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Im speaking from very personal experience here on LI.
The county jails are busting at the seams with addicts. There are no real programs in the local jails to help addicts, just optional NA meetings. Drugs are very available in the county jails. Because of the crowding and budget issues the inmates do nothing but sit around all day telling glory day stories and teaching each other how to be better criminals and liars when they get out. The system is a complete failure, I have no confidence a short stay in county jail will do anything for him but it will permanently scar your entire family.
The rehabs are a joke, overfilled/understaffed. The day-hab programs are even worse. Filled with people that are just trying to stay out of jail, during the smoking breaks they conspire on new ways to get more drugs without getting caught.
The only thing that can change your loved one is THEM. They have to be done. Nobody else, no amount of love or hurt can do it.
I agree with those that suggested going to meetings, try to get him to go too. Sometimes they have beginner meetings when you can bring a family member.
That was very helpful in my situation. It taught me to understand the philosophy and encourage him.
Although my family member has been clean for almost 2 years I still am terrified that I will get another collect call from jail, or worse a call that this OD was his the one that killed him. I don't know if these feelings will ever go away.
I truly feel for you and your family. It's a devastating thing to through. Even worse when you realize there is really nothing you can do to change it.
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| Posted 1/28/14 7:56 PM |
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Tinyswife
My family is complete
Member since 4/07 1819 total posts
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Cathleen
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
I have dealt with this for years. Addicts will never get help till they hit rock bottom and then they still may not get it. A judge can order rehab as part of probation and condition of release. But if they dont go and or dont complete the program all they are going to do is get arrested. There is no easy answer. If seeing a family member and or friends die from the same thing did not help not much will. I live every day with this fear of a phone call about my family members going through the same thing. Suboxone is not clean, this is not going to get someone sober. Its just depending on this till they have and or get money to get what they really want. All I can do i give you a hug because its so hard and so many of us are going through it. Only the person going through the addiction can get help. The most important thing is do not help at all in any way, its not easy but it is what it is.
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| Posted 1/28/14 8:23 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
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Me
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Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
I wouldn't give up on the inpatient hospitalization idea. If they think he is a danger to himself or others they will admit her. Check and see if there are hospitals near by with a MiCa ( mentally ill chemically addicted ) unit. I know that he hasn't been diagnosed but addiction and mental illness often coexist. The benefit of getting him hospitalized is that the social worker can work to get him into an inpatient rehab program upon being released. It's worth a shot.
Message edited 1/28/2014 8:46:07 PM.
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| Posted 1/28/14 8:45 PM |
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Posted by MrsA1012
I wouldn't give up on the inpatient hospitalization idea. If they think he is a danger to himself or others they will admit her. Check and see if there are hospitals near by with a MiCa ( mentally ill chemically addicted ) unit. I know that he hasn't been diagnosed but addiction and mental illness often coexist. The benefit of getting him hospitalized is that the social worker can work to get him into an inpatient rehab program upon being released. It's worth a shot.
While it's worth a shot, it's also not easy to find and definitely not a long-term solution for someone who already isn't ready to accept help.
I say this as a social worker. AND friend of someone going through this right now here on LI.
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| Posted 1/29/14 5:07 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Posted by MrsA1012
I wouldn't give up on the inpatient hospitalization idea. If they think he is a danger to himself or others they will admit her. Check and see if there are hospitals near by with a MiCa ( mentally ill chemically addicted ) unit. I know that he hasn't been diagnosed but addiction and mental illness often coexist. The benefit of getting him hospitalized is that the social worker can work to get him into an inpatient rehab program upon being released. It's worth a shot.
This is a nobel thought but if the OPs relative isn't ready to be sober, he's not going to do it.
He can go through the program all he wants and be sober for that time but chances are he's going to use again when he gets out. Research the statistics, relapse in recovery for opiates is at about 90% for those in their first year of recovery following the completion of a program.
Recovery is a huge battle if you want it. If you don't, then they're never going to do it.
Change has to come from within.
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| Posted 1/29/14 9:20 AM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2048 total posts
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
While it's worth a shot, it's also not easy to find and definitely not a long-term solution for someone who already isn't ready to accept help.
I say this as a social worker. AND friend of someone going through this right now here on LI.
I agree with this part. We have made numerous arrangements with inpatient facilities only to have my relative refuse to go at the last minute. Then all that work you did was for nothing. Bottom line is, if they don't want to be helped, they will not allow you to help them.
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| Posted 1/29/14 10:55 AM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by busymomonli
I don't have any advice really, just wanted to say I can sympathize because I am going through something very similar right now, but with alcohol not drugs. I feel helpless, but at this point any help is enabling him.
I'm so sorry - I completely understand where you are at... Please check out al-anon if you haven't already / it really makes a world of difference.
Thank you. I will definitely check it out. It had never occured to me that I could go to al-anon. I sort of always saw it as a place for children or spouses of alcoholics. In this case, its my brother.
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| Posted 1/29/14 10:57 AM |
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Addicts and legal trouble - is this possible ? Could use legal expert opinions or personal experiences
Thank you all so much. It means the world.
Didn't mean to post and run - posted on lunch and then things got hectic after
Thank you for the fm's
I know rationally that one needs to want and accept help and it can't be forced. This is just aggravating. And sad.
It's so disheartening to hear how so many of you have experience with this .. I wish you all the very best.
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| Posted 1/29/14 2:57 PM |
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