am i a bad mother...??

so, i just called my ped, and then went on the kellymom website (you BFing moms know and love this site!!) DD is 11 months in a week...as far as the BFing has been going- its not too much...she wakes at 6am after going to bed at 8, and gets about 5 minutes on one breast, then back to sleep til 8, when she wakes and gets about another 5 minutes...ive been wanting to wean, and so the nursing before her nap (she only takes one), i weaned the breast and gave her formula, and at nite, i always pump, and give her half formula half breast (whatever i pump, usually about 2 oz, goes into the next nites bottle- ive been doing this since she was 5 months- bc i never knew if she was getting enough from the breast, so i started putting 5 oz of breast milk into a bottle so i knew how much she got, and then before i started to use the method to get her to sleep thru the nite, i put half formula in the bottle- you know, longer to digest and all that...)

ANYway, i had called the ped to ask if starting next week i could put regular milk mixed with formula in the 2 bottles that she gets, and eventually, within a few weeks, it would be all milk....well, the ped shot that down (NOT TIL 1 YEAR!) and then i went to kellymom, and i feel like a horrible mom.....i feel like ive been starting the weaning process too soon, i feel like im letting DD down if i want to stop bfeeding- and no, i dont have any "real" reason, i just want to stop- its been a year, am i entitled???? or am i being selfish? im in tears, literally, bc i just feel ive done something wrong to DD, and hey, maybe thats why DD was sick 2 weeks ago, maybe thats why 3 months ago DD got a fever, bc mom wanted to give her solids and get her going and started giving her less breast....

is anyone in my shoes? am i just horrible if i want to wean, with no real reason except i just want to stop????

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Give yourself a pat on the back you have done SOOO WELL with BF'ing, You Deserve LOTS OF CREDIT

You are not a BAD mom at all!

It's okay to stop if you want to stop, happy mommy=happy baby. Don't feel guilty.

I don't see why you couldn't give DC milk, our PEd actually asked us at her 12 month appt if we started yet.

If you don't feel comfy with the milk, formula is okay too in the meantime

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Posted by sweetness

Give yourself a pat on the back you have done SOOO WELL with BF'ing, You Deserve LOTS OF CREDIT

You are not a BAD mom at all!

It's okay to stop if you want to stop, happy mommy=happy baby. Don't feel guilty.

I don't see why you couldn't give DC milk, our PEd actually asked us at her 12 month appt if we started yet.

If you don't feel comfy with the milk, formula is okay too in the meantime

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Hold on right there!!!

Youve been BFing for 11 months- you should be applauded for that!!!! That is a great accomplishment!

Honestly- my son started weaning to whole milk @ 10.5 months and by 11.5 months was on nothing but whole milk and "real" food- I know you want to follow what your Dr says but if you really want to start weaning to milk YOU CAN... dont forget you are the parent!!!

Also- I just want to add- I think when supplementing a feeding with milk or formula... I dont think its good to "mix" the BM in with whatever other fluid you are using (I could be wrong though )

Re: am i a bad mother...??

hey..i dont think you are a bad mom at all!! i didnt even try breastfeeding..and i dont feel like i am a bad mom because of it..i just didnt want to for my own reasons..but as for you..you made it so far!! thats great!..you should absolutely be proud of yourself...if you are ready to wean go for it..i know you are going back to work in sept so i would def see how dd does now..im sure it can be an adjustment..but im not sure..

as for milk..my dr said not til 1 year as well..
anyway im sure you are just going through what many breastfeeding mom's go through...you are actually parting from something you have been doing for so long..its an adjustment for you also...my friend's have gone through the same thing..dont worry!!

Re: am i a bad mother...??

First of all BF'ing for 11 months is a great accomplishment!

Secondly, doctors are only people, you don't need to follow all of their orders! There is no right or wrong, if you feel that you would like to give your little girl milk, go ahead and start weaning her on to it!! Just be sensible and do it the way that you feel most comfortable! At 11 months old milk is not her main source of nourishment like it was when she was just being weaned onto solids.

She is your child, not your doctors!!!

Re: am i a bad mother...??

You are not a bad mom! If you want to stop I say stop, a happy mommy makes for a happy baby! I see nothing wrong with formula feeding. Also every dr is different....my ped started DS on milk at 10 1/2 months, we didn't even mix formula with milk, just switched to all milk right away. Good luck with whatever decision you make and to you for bf'ing for so long!

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Posted by Princessmaris

Also- I just want to add- I think when supplementing a feeding with milk or formula... I dont think its good to "mix" the BM in with whatever other fluid you are using (I could be wrong though )

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by Princessmaris

Also- I just want to add- I think when supplementing a feeding with milk or formula... I dont think its good to "mix" the BM in with whatever other fluid you are using (I could be wrong though )

That's how I changed my kids over to both milk & formula to get them used to the taste.

BF'ing for 11 months deserves

Re: am i a bad mother...??

I BF DD until she was almost 11 months, she weaned herself pretty much and I started her on whole milk b/c she wouldn't drink formula and voila, she is perfectly healthy!
DO NOT feel guilty for wanting to stop BF'ing, you've done a great job, do what is best for you.

Re: am i a bad mother...??

You are NOT a terrible mom and you are not doing something wrong!!! You are definately entitled to wean whenever you want and should be proud that you lasted this long!!!





Also, I really don't see what the 3 week difference is in adding the regular milk now.

Re: am i a bad mother...??

oh man, you guys are making me feel so much better (and i hate that kellymom website now, for putting me in tears, feeling like i should be bfing until 2 years old and all that)...it was just my only thng is i didnt have a reason...why stop breastfeeding? i dont know, i just thought until a year was good (kellymom would think good, not great... ) and so thank you all....next week, i am putting a little milk in those couple bottles she gets up and gradually increase, so that at a year, shell be getting a nice tall glass of milk with her cake!! (well, maybe not a GLASS, or even a regular CUP... )...and as far as that 6am and 8am thingies she does..... who knows?? at least shell still be getting a little breast...and eventually, ill stop...i do know though, that i dont think shell care- sometimes DH grabs her in the morning and brings her right to her playroom place, and doesnt care about coming in to lay with me and get some boozie (as i call it) for 5 minutes, so im thinking thatll be easy to stop....

but what about stopping those bottles at a year? i def want to know what to do then?? should she just get a little cup of milk before nap and bed out of her straw sippy (thats what she uses...??)

Re: am i a bad mother...??

I would suggest not using bottles at all for regular milk and going right to a sippy cup. That way you will kill two birds with one stone!

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Posted by sumlynmad

oh man, you guys are making me feel so much better (and i hate that kellymom website now, for putting me in tears, feeling like i should be bfing until 2 years old and all that)...it was just my only thng is i didnt have a reason...why stop breastfeeding? i dont know, i just thought until a year was good (kellymom would think good, not great... ) and so thank you all....next week, i am putting a little milk in those couple bottles she gets up and gradually increase, so that at a year, shell be getting a nice tall glass of milk with her cake!! (well, maybe not a GLASS, or even a regular CUP... )...and as far as that 6am and 8am thingies she does..... who knows?? at least shell still be getting a little breast...and eventually, ill stop...i do know though, that i dont think shell care- sometimes DH grabs her in the morning and brings her right to her playroom place, and doesnt care about coming in to lay with me and get some boozie (as i call it) for 5 minutes, so im thinking thatll be easy to stop....

but what about stopping those bottles at a year? i def want to know what to do then?? should she just get a little cup of milk before nap and bed out of her straw sippy (thats what she uses...??)

Re: am i a bad mother...??

You are a great mom! As for the milk, I have been breatfeddin too and I started my son on a bottle of whole milk a day this month, he is 11 months too. Doctors have their opnions, but what will change between now and her birthday, what makes 12 months the magic number?

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Good for you! Bad mom! Come on! Ignore the breastfeeding nazi's and do what is right for you- you don't need a reason. I think 11 months should be appaulded. Kelly moms would hate me- I supplement with formula, have a glass of wine occasionally, started on rice cereal at 4 months- so don't go letting that site make you nuts.

I think you are awesome

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Kuddos to you for giving your DD breast milk for 11 months. It's a tremendous commitment and you did it!!!! You shouldn't feel as if you have failed her....if anything you have more than fulfilled your commitment. You gave her a great start in this world and she will continue to strive because of YOU!

And by the way...you don't really have to have a "reason" to stop BFing. You can stop when you want because you know it's what you need to do. That's enough of a reason.

As to those docs who are making you feel terrible about wanting to start milk, don't let them scare you or make you feel like a bad mother. You can transition to milk and feel confident doing it. You're the Momma!!!

Keep your chin up! You have a beautiful DD and you are a great mother!!!

Re: am i a bad mother...??

wow- it never seizes to amaze me how amazing and supportive all of you are...you made me feel great, and a whole lot better, and i thank all of you...thanks againf for the support... (and ps- "Lucky"- i was reading your profile- the pact by jodi picoult is great, but have you ever read "my sisters keeper" by her as well? it rocks!)

Re: am i a bad mother...??

Message edited 5/14/2007 9:36:45 PM.

Re: am i a bad mother...??

You are a GREAT mommy. You have been BFing your baby for 11 months and that is awesome

Please don't feel guilty about wanting to wean her now. I felt guilty when I wanted to do it at 13 months but I'm so happy I did it. I just wanted to have my body back and be able to wear normal clothes.

About the milk, I never used a bottle. I went straight to the sippy cups and I started giving him his milk in there. Good luck and you have done the best for your baby.