am I being a grinch?

So let me just say I work in an extremely dysfunctional office. Toxic almost. On the positive side, I make amazing money and get lots of time off.

Now I need to know if I am being a Grinch or not. In the past 3 weeks, every time I turn around someone is collecting for something or has something for sale for their kids.

Wrapping paper, candles, a raffle for lottery tickets, cookie mix, candy sales, and magazine subscriptions for kids' schools, dance, band, sports, etc. (Don't buy anything from these)

Toys for Tots (I do always bring in at least 4 toys for this cause - I'm a big fan of theirs)

Thanksgiving Food Pantry (bought in canned goods for that)

We also did a Thanksgiving potluck lunch that required everyone to bring something in.

Now in the past 24 hours, they have decided

1. to collect paper goods for the food pantry for next week.

2. A yankee gift swap at the holiday party next week

3. A cookie swap - also next week


It's all I can do to get my house decorated, shop for gifts for my family members, prepare to host the holiday, and have my own life. I feel like a Grinch, but come on! Oh and I am recovering from surgery so I'm not at my normal speed/energy level.

Am I wrong for choosing not to participate in the last 3 events? I really don't like the people I work with, but will participate to keep the peace - although honestly I'd prefer to come in, do my job, collect my paycheck and go home.

am I being a grinch?

No but I was the same as you. I am happy to participate in things that benefit the less fortunate, But I don’t need to exchange $20 gifts with people that hardly know anything about me.
I know the president of my company was very put off when people didn’t participate, but the last straw for me was one year when the CFO threw his gift on someone else’s desk and said “I can’t use this crap”

am I being a grinch?

I don't think you are being a Grinch, I did an eye roll while reading your post. Just saying, that is a lot to handle in a short period of time at this time of year.
In my office, collections / fundraising / selling stuff is not allowed.
If fundraising is done, it is done on a corporate level - Toys for Tots, Lee Denim Day, along that line.

Re: am I being a grinch?

not being a grinch!!!

that is a lot of crap for a short amount of time at any time of the year... add the holidays and your own family obligations... they're nuts.

if i were in your shoes, i might throw in some items for the food pantry collection. i would buy them when i was out and about doing my regular shopping.

we did a food pantry collection around thansgiving and we do toys for tots.

we will have a white elephant, but that's it. all other events are company sponsored.

Re: am I being a grinch?

I don't see anything wrong with not participating, it doesn't make you a grinch. As long as you don't begrudge others their fun.

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And if they asked me to bake cookies for a swap I'd laugh.
I don't bake.
So yeah, here's a box of Entenmann's.
I think it's rude to assume everyone knows how or wants to bake cookies.
Would they ask everyone to knit a sweater too?
Not to mention I skeeve eating homemade stuff from other people's kitchens unless I know them very well.

Re: am I being a grinch?

Not a grinch though I can be a grinch myself, so take it from where it's coming from lol

I would say to participate in 2 & 3 but then reread that you work in a toxic office and F that noise. It's one thing to do fun thing with your coworkers to bring a little holiday cheer but only if these are people you like in the first place.

I also agree with Nell about not buying stuff for kids fundraisers. That's ballsy.

Re: am I being a grinch?

No not at all. I don't even bring in any of my kids fundraiser things into work because I don't want to have coworkers feel like they are obligated to buy stuff. I'd probably send in paper goods for the food pantry but I wouldn't participate in the gift or cookie swap, because honestly I don't need any more crappy gifts or cookies.

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It's really getting to me this year. I honestly do a lot of charity work ON MY OWN - I don't need my office to organize it.

Oh and we just got an email about 2 charities they "suggest" we donate to for the holidays. Listen both are great charities: one for breast cancer (a co-worker of mine is currently undergoing chemo) and one for pediatric cancer (another co-worker's family was affected by this earlier in the year). I've given away or allotted all of my charity dollars (and time - I volunteer for Make A Wish) for this year.

I just can't.

am I being a grinch?

I don't think you're being a grinch at all. I feel the same way you do about stuff like this. But, if everyone was participating, I would suck it up and do it. If there are others not participating, then I would decline also.

Re: am I being a grinch?

I think that's a ridiculous amount of "things" to have to do, or buy or bake. Especially for work. I'm sure you have plenty of personal stuff to keep track of. I don't know who has the time, the energy and the desire to juggle all of this.

It's perfectly fine to say no to things.

Re: am I being a grinch?

So I have decided to not participate in the cookie swap, the gift swap or yet another food pantry collection ... and I don’t feel guilty about it at all!!!!!!

am I being a grinch?

That’s too much to do. I agree with you

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I don’t bring in kid fundraisers because then I am obligated to do the same on the buying end. The only one I did was scouts when co workers requested it because they know the kids are scouts. Other stuff, no way.

As for participating it is out of hand. I have to give ten co worker gifts this year.

am I being a grinch?

No - not at all. My last place was like that. They actually do all of that.

You shouldn’t feel obligated. It’s overwhelming!

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What people fail to realize is that you are there to work. To do your job. To run a business.
Not for all this other distracting nonsense.

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I hate office potlucks. I had never hear of that until we got a new boss a few years ago. Who has time, after making dinner, to make something else to bring in? I couldn't come up with something that wasn't already taken, could travel well ( i have a 1.25 hr train/subway commute) and didn't need to be heated, because I didn't want to fight for the microwave or toaster over, so I made a bean salad in the middle of February. (as a bonus, it's also vegan & gluten free)


Then the next summer, my husband had just started a new job, they were short handed, he was in way over his head and they pulled the same nonsense.

He ended up making the same thing, but was so angry about it. such a waste of time.

We also had a Christmas party where we ordered in food, but had to bring desserts. I like to bake, but the idea of it annoyed me. b /c it was jsut ore work, when a Christmas party is supposed to be a gift to the employees.

Re: am I being a grinch?

Thank God those things aren’t a thing here. The only things I did was give some money for a little gift when someone was leaving.

If I were asked any of the other things, then I would simply say no, sorry in a nice tone. If someone kept going on, then I would simply say I can’t afford it. Usually they shut up after that.

Some people don’t realize that other people can be in a tight situation (financially or time wise) and that’s private.

Re: am I being a grinch?

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Funny story, somewhat related. Back at my first office job, we used to do pot luck lunches or all chip in for big lunch parties for special occasions (That job was more like a family than coworkers) but there was this one woman who always said no. She didn't want to participate. But after we were done, before we got a chance to pack up the left overs, she'd go in the kitchen and you'd hear the tin foil being unrolled as she would make a plate for herself and put it in the fridge - hidden.

At first I thought maybe she couldn't afford it and felt bad. I told my friend to leave it be. Until we found out she was loaded! Just super cheap and kind of a weasel. After finding that out, I cleaned that stuff up with a quickness every time making sure only those who participated got stuff. Like F that lol

ahhhh the good old days

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am I being a grinch?

That was stressing me out just reading it. I already feel overwhelmed this time of year with my own personal stuff - I can't imagine if my office had THAT MUCH going on.

I think that if you did one out of the three- your face would still be present, just not at everything - so you don't look like you're avoiding it all. For the Yankee swap - gift cards are easy.

am I being a grinch?

If you don't like the people you work with, definitely do not feel obligated to participate in a cookie swap or the yankee swap.

Our office adopts families, which i love and would do anyway, so I do participate in that. I do participate in a cookie bake off at my office - but I love to bake - no one is forced to participate in that.

I don't sell anything for my kids fundraisers, no one does, except for one colleague who we forced to bring in the girl scout cookie form.