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Matteos-mommy
Can't believe I'm 2
Member since 12/07 1260 total posts
Name:
L.
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Am I wrong to be upset
My DH works midnights and rarely has weekends off. I work full time (plus 33 hours OT last month and 20 hours this month) and have a 7 mo. I haven't gone out (without child) since APRIL. My DH gets to go bike riding a couple times a week, went to the All-Star game and he just told me he took Saturday night off because his friend is in town and they are going out (without asking me of course). It's the same friend he went to the All-Star game with so it's not like he never gets to see him. When I ask him to get a Saturday night off, he says they are short staffe. I'm so angry now  . I feel like I never get a break, am I wrong to be so upset? (my DH doesn't understand)
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Posted 7/25/08 8:29 AM  |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Posted by Matteos-mommy
My DH works midnights and rarely has weekends off. I work full time (plus 33 hours OT last month and 20 hours this month) and have a 7 mo. I haven't gone out (without child) since APRIL. My DH gets to go bike riding a couple times a week, went to the All-Star game and he just told me he took Saturday night off because his friend is in town and they are going out (without asking me of course). It's the same friend he went to the All-Star game with so it's not like he never gets to see him. When I ask him to get a Saturday night off, he says they are short staffe. I'm so angry now . I feel like I never get a break, am I wrong to be so upset? (my DH doesn't understand)
no you are sooo not wrong and it seems you give your DH a break with a lot of things...
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:31 AM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
No, you're not wrong. I would be upset as well. I would tell him that he needs to give you a break - no excuses. 
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:33 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Nope, I would be so upset as well. Your DH is being very unreasonable.
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:34 AM |
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
My DH would get an ear full and then some. That is night right and you to tell him exactly how you feel but in a calm way.
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:37 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
You are not wrong to be upset. I find that most of the care of DD falls to me by default-it's just assumed that I will feed her, bathe her, dress her all that stuff. I love it, don't get me wrong and I kind of got us in this situation because I do want to do it most of the time, but everyone needs a break. DH and I had conversation and now he is more proactive and knows/understands that I need breaks too. I would open the dialog.
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:38 AM |
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smiles
Life is good!
Member since 2/06 1450 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
I would be very upset. You deserve a night off too.
I would make him set a date for a night when he will take off and you can go out. Do you have family that could watch your daughter while you go out this Saturday night?
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:39 AM |
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jes81276
summer fun!
Member since 3/06 4962 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
I would be very upset too!
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:41 AM |
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Matteos-mommy
Can't believe I'm 2
Member since 12/07 1260 total posts
Name:
L.
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Posted by CrankyPants
You are not wrong to be upset. I find that most of the care of DD falls to me by default-it's just assumed that I will feed her, bathe her, dress her all that stuff. I love it, don't get me wrong and I kind of got us in this situation because I do want to do it most of the time, but everyone needs a break. DH and I had conversation and now he is more proactive and knows/understands that I need breaks too. I would open the dialog.
He is helpful. My DS doesn't go to day care on the days my husband is home. I can't fault him there, and once I'm home the baby wants no one else. I would just like the opportunity to be able to go out and have fun, and since I work so much OT, I usually reserve asking the grandparents to watch him for that.
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:41 AM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
I would be a bit PO'd too....
DH and I have a standard rule about checking with the other one before we make any plans...it's not like we're asking for permission or anything..it's just common courtesy.
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:45 AM |
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
I would be upset as well. Your DH needs to be a little more understanding that once in a while you need a break too!!!
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| Posted 7/25/08 8:48 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Posted by Matteos-mommy
Posted by CrankyPants
You are not wrong to be upset. I find that most of the care of DD falls to me by default-it's just assumed that I will feed her, bathe her, dress her all that stuff. I love it, don't get me wrong and I kind of got us in this situation because I do want to do it most of the time, but everyone needs a break. DH and I had conversation and now he is more proactive and knows/understands that I need breaks too. I would open the dialog.
He is helpful. My DS doesn't go to day care on the days my husband is home. I can't fault him there, and once I'm home the baby wants no one else. I would just like the opportunity to be able to go out and have fun, and since I work so much OT, I usually reserve asking the grandparents to watch him for that.
I see what you are saying-I would definitely just let him know you need time to relax too AND you would like to make more time for each other. Vacation time is valuable and limited and he should reserve some of it for you.
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:28 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Posted by hbugal
I would be a bit PO'd too....
DH and I have a standard rule about checking with the other one before we make any plans...it's not like we're asking for permission or anything..it's just common courtesy.
ITA.
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:40 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
I would be pizzed for two reasons:
1. He made plans without talking to you first.
2. You ask him to take off a Sat. night and he says he can't - and then takes it off to hang out with his friend. That would really upset me.
I think if you explain why you're upset he has to understand where you're coming from!
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:44 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
I would be REALLY mad.
This baby thing is not a one side story. Your DC has 2 parents. BOTH need a break. I would clarify with him that you are next in line for a break. Not him! You guys have to take turns. I would not leave it as an "option".
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:45 AM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
make plans for all day sunday for yourself..
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:48 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Oh, I TOTALLY feel you.....
DH works insane hours between his electrician job all week and now he's a rock star with his bands going to the far reaches of the country for weekends at a time.....
I cann't remember the last time DH got up with DS and let me sleep in-actually the last time JenBenMen took DS for me!!!!
I would e pretty ****** but approach DH with a level head. Easier said then done, but I think he needs to realize that he'sa parent to and it's not just the Mommy's job to stay home with the babies. it's not 1950......
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:48 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Yes- you are RIGHT to be upset- men just do NOT get it... my DH did the same thing to me sort of- and boy did I let him have it!
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:50 AM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Belive me im sure he doesnt realize , just talk to im i a non confrentational way
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:52 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
No you're not wrong. I would be upset too.
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:53 AM |
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Bklyngrl
luvmyfamily
Member since 9/06 5307 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
you're not wrong to be upset at all. you need to let him know that you want/deserve a break and that if its difficult for him to get Sat. nites off, when he does get one, you are his priority - not the friend
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| Posted 7/25/08 12:00 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
I don't think that you are wrong for being upset. I've had similar issues with DH since he works 2 jobs and then will plan to play poker or something for Saturday night and will have a baseball/football game on Sunday.
I've spoken to DH about the need for me to have some time and for us to have time as a family...maybe you can try to express your concerns to DH? Perhaps he doesn't realize how upset he's making you?
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| Posted 7/25/08 12:06 PM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
Of course you are not wrong to be upset. I would be too...
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| Posted 7/25/08 1:14 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Am I wrong to be upset
You are not wrong - I would be LIVID. Dh would not be going 
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| Posted 7/25/08 2:01 PM |
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