Annoying Family Comments

This is so difficult for my family to understand! Ugggh.


Everytime time I mention to my Mom where I am in the process and what I am doing...She questions everything.


When I told her they were checking DH's Sperm. SHe said "why there is no reason, you can get pregnant you just have miscarriages". Ughh....there could also be something wrong with DH Sperm that causes miscarriages.


Now I told her the RE wants to time and induce Ovulation during just trying on our own BDing, so I can have a monitored cycle. She again says" you ovulated and have gotten pregnant why do they need to induce ovulation"?

She did the same thing when I said I was having a HSG. She doesn't understand that jsut b/c I can get pregnant does not mean there are still other things that can go wrong. And that this is protocal when you go to a RE.

I feel like she doesn't trust anything the RE's suggest. And she makes me question the decision DH AND I make.

Thanks for listening to me Vent. I think I am realizing it is better to NOT SHARE TOO MUCH DETAIL.

Message edited 3/27/2010 10:11:29 AM.

Re: Annoying Family Comments

I can def understand how that can be really annoying!! Your mom really does have the best intentions. Did your mom have a really easy time conceiving when she had you? For my mom, she conceived my brother and I each on the FIRST try.... Both times she just decided she wanted to have a baby, knew when she was O'ing and BAM! .. So, when I told my mom that the IUI wasn't successful she had a really hard time wrapping her brain around it.. for the first few days I knew it was negative I got comments like... "How is it possible for it not to work?" etc. - Now she understands more that my journey is MUCH different than hers and she tries to be as sensitive as possible!!

I'm not sure how related my story was to yours, but both our moms mean well You could choose to be more candid around your mom as far as not sharing as much info- but if it was me, I think I would appreciate another perspective on things! Who knows, maybe down the line she will have a good reason to question something in your treatment plan and you'll apprecaite it!!

ETA: I also want to say that so many of these fertility treatments, etc are new to our moms!! When our moms were trying to conceive many of these treatment options, etc weren't even around! That could also be why it's harder for them to understand the logistics..

Message edited 3/27/2010 10:24:05 AM.

Re: Annoying Family Comments

I think all mothers will always question only because they are concerned and worried about the additional measures we are taking to increase our chance of healthy pregnancies. My mother is also like that also and I've decided not to tell her about the IVF that I am planning on doing next month until I get a positive result. THis is especially hard for me because I tell my mom everything. I know our mothers are just concerned but when they address the issue with all these questions, it stresses me out and I'm sure it stresses you out too. Just hang in there.....

Re: Annoying Family Comments

yeah, sometimes less is more with family or friends. hope it gets better!

Re: Annoying Family Comments

Posted by PennyCat



I can def understand how that can be really annoying!! Your mom really does have the best intentions. Did your mom have a really easy time conceiving when she had you? For my mom, she conceived my brother and I each on the FIRST try.... Both times she just decided she wanted to have a baby, knew when she was O'ing and BAM! .. So, when I told my mom that the IUI wasn't successful she had a really hard time wrapping her brain around it.. for the first few days I knew it was negative I got comments like... "How is it possible for it not to work?" etc. - Now she understands more that my journey is MUCH different than hers and she tries to be as sensitive as possible!!

I'm not sure how related my story was to yours, but both our moms mean well You could choose to be more candid around your mom as far as not sharing as much info- but if it was me, I think I would appreciate another perspective on things! Who knows, maybe down the line she will have a good reason to question something in your treatment plan and you'll apprecaite it!!

ETA: I also want to say that so many of these fertility treatments, etc are new to our moms!! When our moms were trying to conceive many of these treatment options, etc weren't even around! That could also be why it's harder for them to understand the logistics..

Re: Annoying Family Comments

my mom and my sister ask a LOT of questions, but that is because they don't know what's going on. So as much as sometimes it is hard to explain, I do my best so that they can understand. I am sure that is not "trying" to be a PITA, but trying to understand. Good Luck, I know it can be frustrating.

Re: Annoying Family Comments

I can understand how comments from family members can get annoying. I have not told anyone about my treatments, so I don't get THOSE questions. I get "when are you guys going to have a baby already, your not getting any younger!" (gee thanks for the vote of confidence)

In your case, I would say try to remember it is ALL coming out of love and concern for you. I know we all have limited patience *hugs*

Re: Annoying Family Comments

My mother was the same way.

I finally had to tell her that she does not have an MD and is not specialized in RE.

I told her that I have to TRUST the expert... and many of the things that he does are to insure that I have the best chances possible. Some of them may not be needed, and others may.

My mother HATES things that she doesn't understand & is actually quite intelligent. I had to tell her to stop it.

Re: Annoying Family Comments

In the beginning, I used to tell them everything. Then, they would start to annoy me. One night, DH and I got a message from his mom saying, "Is today the day? Did u find out I am going to be a grandma? OMG, I am so excited! I can't wait to talk to you."

AF had shown up that day.

I realized then that I was better off not sharing too much! Sooo hard bc u need support, but unfortunately u don't always get it in the way that u need it.

Re: Annoying Family Comments

We shared NOTHING of our initial start of our IF journey. I just didn't want to deal with the bajillion questions when I really didn't understand the hows and whys of everything.

Once we moved to IVF and told our families what was going on with us, I sent out a mass email to the parents explaining what was going to happen, when it was going to happen and why certain things were being done. I also explained what each of the meds would do, and exactly what was going to happen during egg retrieval, embryo transfer and the days in between the two. I left nothing out.

It helped curb ALOT if not all the questions I knew were going to be asked, and made things a little less stressful.

Message edited 3/29/2010 9:35:27 PM.

Re: Annoying Family Comments

I totally feel your pain. My Mom is so smart but when it comes to this she has no clue. She keeps telling me that she had trouble and just kept trying and it happened. I was like well, that's great for you but 5 years later all I have are dogs so something isn't right! They just don't get it!

Re: Annoying Family Comments

I'm sorry your mom is making you question everything. Just remember that she has your best interest and all the things out there now for fertility problems werent available then. So she maybe asking questions for her own knowledge and not to question what you are doing. Best wishes and i hope it works

Re: Annoying Family Comments

Thats funny, my Mother is the same way. She doesnt get all of the tests and shots and blood work. She didnt have to do it....so she always asks why I am doing all of this.