another "desperate for sleep" post

Help! Sorry for the long post.

I'm interested in hearing different suggestions.

My twins just turned 9 months and I'm lucky if I get a combined 3 hrs sleep a night. Not straight through...COMBINED! DH and I are crumbling.

They are horrible nappers during the day. My parents watch them. Once in a blue will take two naps totaling 3 hrs and still does nothing for their sleep at night. otherwise maybe 20 mins here and 30 mins at the next nap. They have been drinking more during the day and also eat solids (breakfast, lunch and dinner). Baths at around 5pm.

We both work full time and unfortunately get home late (8pm). Both babies usually fall asleep in the car and can be transitioned to the crib or pack and play. If that is successful, they will sleep two or three hours at most and then wake up. Get a bottle and then begins the game of trying to put them down and them waking as soon as they hit the mattress. One baby can sometimes be soothed to go back to sleep without being picked up as long as she's not hungry. The other, forget it! As soon as she wakes, she rolls over and gets up. Stands there crying til someone gets her.

Cry it out isn't an option as we already have them in separate rooms but the bedrooms are next to each other and one still wakes the other. Then we had two screaming babies at 2am. If we had a house, I might try having them in different parts of the house but again, that's not an option.

The truth is....they want to be held while they sleep. If we hold them till they start to doze and put them down, they wake immediately. We've had to resort to holding them on our chests while we lie on the couch so they can sleep and we can too. But that turns into a 2 hr thing...and only then can we usually put them down without waking right away. This is our life during the week. We can't do anything. Our whole night consists of trying to put them to sleep or getting them to stay asleep. WTF do we do? The mornings are a disaster because we had no time to get ourselves ready the night before. Right now we have one baby in the nursery and one in the pack and play in our room. They started sleeping horribly around the 7 month mark so we separated them.

Dr. suggested Melatonin or just having to wait it out. I'm willing to try melatonin but I need another method. i feel like the only thing that could change it is if we change our work hours to get home earlier. Not sure if its an option but I guess we have to try.

another

I think they need to learn how to self soothe. Since they're falling asleep in the car I think they don't know how to fall asleep on their own. This was the problem that my DS had. I nursed him to sleep until he was a year. Once I stopped, he slept better at night.

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

I would try sound machines/white noise. This way maybe one won't wake the other and you can give CIO a chance again.
I did CIO at 9 months and it was quite successful but only had 1.

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

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Agree that they don't seem to know how to fall asleep. MY DS was the same way. Car & transfer/holding/etc will only prolong it... if you CAN manage it, you can do it, but it sounds like it's taking a toll.

CIO is the only way I know that really worked for my kids.

I did CIO with them in the same room. One did not keep the other awake all night with CIO. They were a year and a half apart. Another option is white noise...

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

I don't have twins so that in itself is a challenge, I'm sure (they're so adorable, by the way). What time do they get their bottle before the trip home? Do they have the bottle, sleep in the car and then you transfer them?

Maybe if you give them the bottle after you get home which shouldn't disrupt them too much and then put them in the crib they won't wake after a few hours for a feeding and start the whole cycle of trying to get them back to sleep, and they might sleep through longer. Just a thought.

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I know nothing about twins so this could be way off, but just throwing the idea out there... do you think they might sleep better if they were sleeping together? Just having another body in the crib next to them may soothe them?

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I just remember with my first my MIL watched her and lived in Mineola so my hubby would drive her home since he works out there and he would time that bottle as late as possible so she would fall asleep on the 40 or so minute commute but would have the bottle late enough to last her through the night. Maybe even pushing it back to 7:30 might help. Let us know how it goes!

Message edited 2/10/2016 2:23:42 PM.

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

Posted by J9-13

Posted by shellyru


I don't have twins so that in itself is a challenge, I'm sure (they're so adorable, by the way). What time do they get their bottle before the trip home? Do they have the bottle, sleep in the car and then you transfer them?

Maybe if you give them the bottle after you get home which shouldn't disrupt them too much and then put them in the crib they won't wake after a few hours for a feeding and start the whole cycle of trying to get them back to sleep, and they might sleep through longer. Just a thought.

Thank you!

They start to get restless and tired at about 6:30 so they drink a bottle. By 7:30-7:45 we are heading home. Dh and I were just talking about that last night. If we could shift our work hours and get home earlier, we should give them their "last" bottle at home

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

This website SAVED me when my DS was an infant... it solved every single sleep problem I had!

https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/

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Message edited 2/10/2016 9:31:00 PM.

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Double post

Message edited 2/10/2016 8:31:24 PM.

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

My twins are now 2.5yo, but we went through a similar phase. First, I would put them back in the same room. Maybe they're missing each other? Definitely get a sound machine! It will really make a difference and help them stay asleep. I know you don't want to do CIO, but have you tried the Ferber method? It's gentler than just letting them cry, which I would never be able to do. We did this with my boys around that age and by night 3/4, we were putting them down in their cribs and closing the door for the night! They have to learn to self soothe and once they do, everything will get better, I promise!

ETA: I just read some of the responses and I have to agree with some PP. At 9mp, my boys were going down for the night at 6/630pm. Is it possible for your parents to put them down for the night at your house? If so, that might be key!

Message edited 2/10/2016 8:50:57 PM.

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

Can you try keeping them
Up on the way home.

Then when they get home,do the bedtime routine etc

I would try Ferber

Anyone teething?

Re: another "desperate for sleep" post

I understand what you're going through! I don't have twins but it's been hard enough with 1 at a time.

I definitely agree they need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep & back to sleep if they wake up during the night. I think the only way is for them to practice actually doing it. Either little by little or full out CIO. Maybe put on the radio for each of them so they don't wake each other up when they're crying. And I agree it's very important to not let them get overtired... I think that is a major source of sleeping problems. So put them down before they become overly exhausted.

DS1 was a terrible sleeper the first year & at night we'd have to sit next to him & hold his hand & he'd still be freaking out & if he did finally fall asleep the second we'd tip toe out of the room he'd stand up & start screaming. Ugh. This went on until he was almost a year old & we'd had enough so I just explained to him that we were leaving & he needed to go to sleep on his own... he cried hard for maybe 2 nights & by the third night it was a whimper & after that not a peep. He's been a great nighttime sleeper since. I had to do something similar for naps but not until he was almost 2 years old because my babysitter refused to put him in his crib & insisted on rocking him... once I started putting him in his crib for naps, he freaked out & it took a while but he eventually adapted to sleeping there during the day. I have to say now at 2.5 he is normally a very good sleeper & I never thought I'd be able to say that!

DS2 is 9 months old... he is able to fall asleep on his own HOWEVER he wakes up a million times in the middle of the night & wants to BF... which is the only way I can get him to relax enough to go back to sleep... so here I am only sleeping a few hours because he keeps waking up & screaming & gets so worked up he can't go back to sleep on his own so I give in & BF every time... I tried experimenting with CIO a few times but it hasn't worked yet & I don't want him waking up my 2 year old... I'm hoping if I do it around a year old like my older son it'll click for him at that point & he will start sleeping through. Increasing the solids seems to have helped a little bit too. But his sleep is still a work in progress.

Good luck!!!!!! Your girls are SO cute!!!

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I feel your pain. I have twins. When mine were that age, we had to rock them to sleep. I would sit on the glider and DH would sit on the ottoman which also glided and we would each rock one. Well it took longer and longer to have them fall asleep. When they were a year old, it was taking almost 2 hours to get them both completely asleep. I felt like my arms were gonna fall off, I was exhausted, and 4 months pregnant with my 3rd. I was like this is insane!

We finally had to do CIO at a year old. It sucked but changed our lives. They shared the same room (still do) and they just got used to it. One figured it out very quickly that we were not coming in and just passed out even while his brother was screaming at the top of his lungs.

It was totally our fault! My kids never learned to fall asleep on their own because we would rock them so that's all they knew. Boy did I learn my lesson. Now they and my 3rd are all great sleepers.

Hang in there! I agree with others. That they think the 8pm car ride/transition to the house is a nap. What helped was having a true bedtime routine...baths, pjs, bottle, read a book, and then in the crib with a kiss and sound machine on. We would say goodnight, we love you. They learn what to expect and know that ok, it's time for bed now.

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another

The could be overtired and need an earlier bed time. I have experienced this with my ds and It's counter intuitive. But putting to bed earlier sometimes helps them sleep better. If that doesn't work the car to crib transition isn't ideal. You want them in their crins drowsy but at awake......so I'd consider a schedule change. Keep them up later and let them sleep later 8:30 to 8:30.

another

I don't have twins but my youngest alwasy woke during the night. I finally had enough that I had to do CIO.

I would try not to pick them up. Keep laying them down and I had to rub her back, like hold her down, not to hurt her lol, but enough so she knew not to get up. It took a while but it worked.

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