Another S/O to elderly parents

Do you have a plan to take care of your parents when they get older? Have you spoken to your parents about it? For example, would they live with you, move to assisted living, have a home care person etc?

DH's parents are getting old at this point in time. We have had zero discussion about what will happen when that time comes. I know a few people ( parents the same age) that already have things planned out, which sibling they will live with, where they will stay etc

My parents are much younger , so I'm not worried about them right now .

Re: Another S/O to elderly parents

I've discussed this with parents and hubby...both sets of parents are welcome to live with us if ever needed. We are family and we take care of each other.

Another S/O to elderly parents

My SIL would care of my MIL (makes sense since they both speak chinese fluently) but I would be sure my SIL had everything she needed.

My father will live with me. End of story. He cared for his mother at the end and so I would care for him. He'd be comfortable as he could be. This is part of the reason he's moving back to Texas, he thinks he won't last another 5yrs. :(

My stepmother should she outlive my father is not my concern. Frankly I'd probably drop her off at her sister's house and tell her I'd drop her crap off on a later date. I'd then change my locks and phone number. that woman can and should rot. If she pushes back I'll have her committed as insane (if I can) or at least put up in a mental home or aid home. If I can manage that and the best her money will allow, I still won't visit her. I will have her buried with her father. Because I'm not entirely heartless, but that's as far as I'll go for this woman.

ETA: here's to hoping she dies first, for her sake and mine. She's turning 70 this year.. so there's some hope. Dad is 63

ETA#2: My mother has a daughter who's about 9 years younger than me and her whole 'other' family. So that won't be an issue. His father could be dead right now and we'd never know since he's been missing for so long that no one knows where he is or who he's with.

Message edited 6/13/2013 3:55:21 PM.

Re: Another S/O to elderly parents

Message edited 6/13/2013 5:08:19 PM.

Re: Another S/O to elderly parents

My parents passed but I tried my hardest to take in my mother - she wouldn't budge. I keep trying to convince my grandmother to move in with me too.

We'd take care of his parents as well if needed.

Re: Another S/O to elderly parents

Mom and MIL are passed on.
My mom did live with me during her illness and I took care of her, including doing hospice at home when she was dying. MIL had to go into a nursing home - we could not take her in and there was no way she could return to her her home.

DH and I will not have his step-dad (age 79) live with us (they don't get along, FIL has major hoarding and lying issues, I got stuck dealing with the hoarding, eviction proceedings and court). There are no other children, so FIL will have to go into a home, unless his family decides to step in and help. That will be when he!! freezes over. FIL is also not that self-sufficient. I pay his bills, take care of all his affairs.

My dad, who is 78 and lives with his lady friend, I would not have a problem having him live with us. Dad lived with me after my mom died, before I got married. But I also feel that my sister should take over his care.
I do a lot of paperwork for dad, checking up on his doctor's appointments. He's pretty self sufficient, so I really think that he might be able to live on his own for a long while.

I don't have children of my own, but when asked, my reply is that two parents have become my children.

Another S/O to elderly parents

I have spoken with my parents about it and they will be going to Assisted Living close to our home. My mom, along with her 5 siblings, took care of my grandfather with minimal assistance around the clock for a number of years at it wore on all of them, especially my mom who works FT.

ETA - I will be extremely involved in their care but, it's a lot for one person to handle - especially working full time.

Message edited 6/13/2013 4:26:05 PM.

Re: Another S/O to elderly parents

My dad passed away recently, but my mom is in FLA. I've made the guest room her permanent bedroom when she comes up in the summers (she left some of her things here already). She knows when the time comes when she can no longer live on her own she will live with me, either here in NY or FLA if I decide to sell and move there.

Re: Another S/O to elderly parents

We would definitely have our parents live with us. However, DH's parents said they plan to move out west, so that wouldn't be a possibility then.

My parents are fine to live on their own right now, but my brother does live with them.

Re: Another S/O to elderly parents

Yes..like Asian families have the tradition of taking in their parents, we also plan to take them in when they are unable to care for themselves. We are planning to buy a bigger house or a mother/daughter specifically for this. My MIL is 83 years old and although she is in fantastic mental and physical shape now, we have to be prepared if she suddenly needs care (she lives by herself in a senior housing complex - a condo).

My parents are in their 60s now and in great health but should anything happen to change that, I would want to have them move in with us so I can monitor their health. I can't fathom putting them in a nursing home. I would fork over half my paycheck each month just to have a home health aide check on them while we are at work..