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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by wingsofsong
If it's a drop off playdate, I wouldn't leave my child with any parent I didn't know, mom nor dad. If I was going to stay, I wouldn't care. I don't see the issue?
Same here.
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Posted 7/6/13 9:40 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
May I ask what your cultural background is?
Your comments may be based on a different culture. I feel like my mom may have thinking like you.
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| Posted 7/6/13 9:52 PM |
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
I love all the responses from women say think its cool, yet you know if their DH's were answering they would all be like "hell no!" LOL
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| Posted 7/6/13 11:20 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by wingsofsong
If it's a drop off playdate, I wouldn't leave my child with any parent I didn't know, mom nor dad. If I was going to stay, I wouldn't care. I don't see the issue?
this
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| Posted 7/6/13 11:33 PM |
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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Wow, this took an interesting turn.
Basically, this other mom knew the family but claimed her daughter might not be comfortable if only dad was home. It was a drop off.
And I wouldn't drop off unless I knew the parents or at least went in for a little while.
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| Posted 7/6/13 11:34 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by BetterVersion
I love all the responses from women say think its cool, yet you know if their DH's were answering they would all be like "hell no!" LOL
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| Posted 7/6/13 11:42 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by BetterVersion
I love all the responses from women say think its cool, yet you know if their DH's were answering they would all be like "hell no!" LOL
Actually, I ran it past my husband to get a husband/dad point of view on it and he completely agreed with me.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:05 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by BetterVersion
I love all the responses from women say think its cool, yet you know if their DH's were answering they would all be like "hell no!" LOL
mine did not
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:11 AM |
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LeeCR7
LIF Infant
Member since 5/08 138 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
I agree with most of you, in that I wouldn't do a drop off unless I knew the dad well, but if I stayed it wouldn't matter. I asked my husband if he would care and his response was, "what is the dad supposed to do, leave ?" So he wouldn't care.
If I didn't know the dad well I would be nervous to make conversation, but I would feel that way about a mom as well. I always try to go, though, so my daughter has more opportunities for friends. And many of those moms and dads are now our friends.
I had no idea that so many women would treat dads so differently. It makes me feel bad for stay-at-home dads.
ETA: There have been two times when my DH brought my daughter to birthday parties by himself because I had a shower to attend but didn't want her to miss the fun. Neither of us thought anything of it, but I wonder if it was perceived as weird. I told the parents the situation when I RSVPed, but you never know how people will react, I guess.
Message edited 7/7/2013 12:29:02 AM.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:23 AM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
May I ask what your cultural background is?
Your comments may be based on a different culture. I feel like my mom may have thinking like you.
American as apple pie. Maybe I'm a little old school.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:24 AM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by gina409
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by olive98
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
Seems like you have issues with men. I find your comments really bizarre. The only people who cheat and swing are the ones that want to. Are you afraid that you will cheat on your husband if you are alone with another man?
No.
I was a guys-girl. All of my friends in college were guys. I learned a lot about how guys think about life and women. I can almost guarantee you that if you were "friends" with a guy, at some point, he wanted to fxcx you. It may not have lasted the entire friendship, but at some point, he did. This is what I observed.
Guys from work taught me a lot. I was the only female in an office of about 20 guys. I am not making this up. The last day I worked there, the manager gave me a going away happy hour. I was moving back to NY. The guys who were my "friends" stayed after the rest of the office headed home. This small group of guys confessed to me that they were totally into me. When I look back at it, I think about how weird the whole thing was. One guy told me about a time when he called me to see if I wanted to go to a ball game. I told him "I just got out of the shower. I'm soaking wet. Maybe next time." He confessed that it totally turned him on. Something so innocent. Someone who was supposed to be a FRIEND.
More guys from work. A married man once told me what he could do to me with his tongue. Another married man gave me a neck massage and played with my hair on the car ride home from a company outing. Another married man asked me to get into a hot tub in my bra and underwear on a company trip. Just a few examples.
While these men didn't cheat, this behavior was completely inappropriate. I was young and single at the time, and didn't realize the gravity of what was happening. Older, and slightly wiser, I like to think I'm not naive. I prefer not to put myself in an inappropriate situation. One on one with a man I barely know. I do try to avoid it. I know that I won't cheat on DH. But I also don't want to put myself in a situation where someone may be disrespected by something said or done.
Not all men are like this. I know that. I guess I have a problem with men. Or, I've just been exposed to so much, I can't put blinders up.
u told a guy i just got out of the shower i am soaking wet and u did not expect him to get turned on?? come on now
sounds to me like you were around horny guys and married sleazeballs
i am a guys girl
i live in sweat pants and a pony tail..i am the only girl on a male softball team..i met my dh playing basketball when we were kids
i would rather be at the mets game than shoe shopping..for our anny my dh got me a new hockey jersey and it was exactly what i wanted
most of my friends are guys..i am way more of a boy than a girl..always have been
none of them want to pork me,i have actually hooked most of them up with their wives
u were around a particular group of guys and got really weird things said to you
that is where this all comes from
I have to agree.
I'm not trying to be rude but these are my thoughts:
I don't know many females who would tell a man "I just got out of the shower, I'm soaking wet" and expect them not to get aroused. to me, your comment about being soaking wet is what was inappropriate...not the guys response.
A compliment about losing weight doesn't mean he wants to screw you. It was just an observation. I think it's presumptuous and maybe even a bit conceited to consider it any more than that.
you ACCEPTED a massage and hair play from a married man? If I were that mans wife I'd be livid with the PAIR of you...not just him, single or not.
I can understand not hanging out with a man DH doesn't know alone bc you don't want to make DH or the guys wife uncomfortable. I can understand not wanting to give people something to talk about. But to make it seem like you can't be alone with a man bc they will automatically sexualize the experience is silly.
ETA: not to mention the beach outing was in a group...not one on one.
Message edited 7/7/2013 1:31:41 AM.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:29 AM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by BetterVersion
I love all the responses from women say think its cool, yet you know if their DH's were answering they would all be like "hell no!" LOL
Actually, I ran it past my husband to get a husband/dad point of view on it and he completely agreed with me.
Same here. But for some reason, it is just impossible for people to believe that some may view the situation differently. Hence the multiple threds going back and forth over the same nonsense.
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| Posted 7/7/13 1:19 AM |
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mommyago
♥ Lucas and Layla
Member since 8/08 2979 total posts
Name:
Jenise
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
I wouldn't care. As others have stated, if I don't know the father I wouldn't drop off (same goes for a woman) but I wouldnt care or not allow something just because he is a man. But things are different now, some dads are stay at home dads, some dads have a more flexible schedules/different hours then the moms.
In all of these threads I think the women either had bad experiences with men in the past, or their dh's are a bit jealous so they don't want to put themselves in a position where their dh's wouldn't be happy.
I've always had guy friends. I have a twin brother so I always hung out with his friends. Overall, I tend to like the company of a man than a women (other then my close friends obviously) Less drama, gossip, ect...
My dh would not care if the playdate had just the dad there, he would not care if he came home and a dad was in the pool with his family, and he would not care if on a playdate there was a dad that always came (even to the beach) he would simply think that that dad wanted to spend time with his family.
We are both teachers so in the summer, he is "that dad". We do most of the playdates together (aside from if im just going to one of my close friends houses to hang out). He likes being there and seeing my son interact and play with others. He likes that after he gets home we can talk about who he was playing with and what he was doing.
Visa-vera of this whole situation my husband is an elementary school teacher and works with all women. His school was done a few days before mine, and he went on a playdate with all women that he works with, and their children at someone elses house. Im sure he was the only guy, but I don't care. Ive gotten to know a lot of the women he works with throughout the years and they are all very nice. I'm sure none of their dh's were uncomfortable that he was there. There was nothing inappropriate going on. Just everyone hanging out with the kids.
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| Posted 7/7/13 7:47 AM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
I would and have! My dd (6) has two great friends that I am friendly with both parents and feel totally comfortable leaving her with either parent. Before I knew them as well, I would stay and hang out with the parents and got to know both of them well. My husband isn't bothered by me chatting with a parent of the opposite sex and honestly, if he was, I would be concerned about why he was so concerned about it...it would make me suspicious of him! It isn't like I am texting with these dads! We're just hanging out and passing the time while our kids play for an hour.
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| Posted 7/7/13 8:10 AM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
I think some women just have never had relationships with men that were purely, genuinely platonic.
I have some very very very close male friends so this sort of thing wouldn't phase me.
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| Posted 7/7/13 9:24 AM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
I find it so sad, honestly sad, that some women would take the chance of a playdate away from their child if only the dad was home. My brother is a SAHD and he has a hard time sometimes arranging playdates - maybe this is part of the reason. It kills me that my nephew and brother end up feeling somewhat isolated because some women are so insecure or paranoid that they can't say 'this is a playdate with another parent' and leave it at that.
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| Posted 7/7/13 10:08 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Women can also hit on other women, so everyone should avoid any and all playdates, because you never know!
If anyone wants to have a playdate at my house, trust me, I'm not going to hit on you. One woman is more than enough!  
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| Posted 7/7/13 10:30 AM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
these threads are fascinating. I find it fascinating because last year my DH was unemployed and instead of being PTWM I had to go to work FT in NYC. Quite honestly if my DH was hosting playdates in our home with women I would have had an issue. Just as if I started inviting a SAHD over to my house during the day. I do not think it has anything to do with feeling secure in one's marriage. IMO it is just inappropriate.
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| Posted 7/7/13 10:57 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by GoldenRod
Women can also hit on other women, so everyone should avoid any and all playdates, because you never know!
If anyone wants to have a playdate at my house, trust me, I'm not going to hit on you. One woman is more than enough!
I love your responses. Always the voice of reason with humor thrown in!!!!!
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| Posted 7/7/13 11:18 AM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Depends on the age. what if your dd needed help going to the bathroom? I imagine any man would be uncomfortable helping a little girl in the bathroom who isn't related.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:19 PM |
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Teach723
Have faith. Believe. Dream.
Member since 8/10 2356 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by Domino
these threads are fascinating. I find it fascinating because last year my DH was unemployed and instead of being PTWM I had to go to work FT in NYC. Quite honestly if my DH was hosting playdates in our home with women I would have had an issue. Just as if I started inviting a SAHD over to my house during the day. I do not think it has anything to do with feeling secure in one's marriage. IMO it is just inappropriate.
I completely agree!!!!
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:40 PM |
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Jbon630
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1340 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
I am just at a loss at why "work from home" needs to be in quotes, as if there aren't people who actually do this. My DH is a "work from home" dad, makes more money than I do, and has an awesome flexible schedule where we do not have to pay to have our DD in daycare.
I would be really annoyed if no one wanted to play with my DD when she's old enough because my DH was home with her.
That being said, I would not do a drop off with a mom OR dad if I didn't know them well enough.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:45 PM |
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Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
The worst thing about this is that the kids suffer.
They just want to play with their friends and may not be able to because of issues like these.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:46 PM |
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Jbon630
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1340 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by GoldenRod
Women can also hit on other women, so everyone should avoid any and all playdates, because you never know!
If anyone wants to have a playdate at my house, trust me, I'm not going to hit on you. One woman is more than enough!
Feel free to tell me I lost weight though! Even if it's a lie! 
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:51 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Play dates are a mode of social learning and interaction for my son so yes I would go. I would not deny my son the fun of playing with his friend bc only dad was available to supervise the other child . In the off chance he hit on me mid play date I know how to assert and handle myself and get out of there.
Message edited 7/7/2013 12:58:17 PM.
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| Posted 7/7/13 12:57 PM |
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