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Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by Jbon630
Posted by GoldenRod
Women can also hit on other women, so everyone should avoid any and all playdates, because you never know!
If anyone wants to have a playdate at my house, trust me, I'm not going to hit on you. One woman is more than enough!  
Feel free to tell me I lost weight though! Even if it's a lie! 
You look fabulous! Have you also done something with your hair? 
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Posted 7/7/13 1:10 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
If I knew the dad and he was comfortable with it, sure. I don't think my DH would ever do this by himself.
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| Posted 7/7/13 4:26 PM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by Jbon630
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
I am just at a loss at why "work from home" needs to be in quotes, as if there aren't people who actually do this. My DH is a "work from home" dad, makes more money than I do, and has an awesome flexible schedule where we do not have to pay to have our DD in daycare.
I would be really annoyed if no one wanted to play with my DD when she's old enough because my DH was home with her.
That being said, I would not do a drop off with a mom OR dad if I didn't know them well enough.
I didn't mean it that way. I worked from home and understand.
You're a better woman than me. I trust my DH. I don't trust other people, men or women. I just think it's inappropriate.
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| Posted 7/7/13 10:43 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
I would not drop off my DD at a play date when just the Dad was home. My DD is going into 1 st grade and most play dates are drop off. I'm generally not BFF with all the moms whose houses she goes to play dates but I feel reasonably comfortable with dropping her off there. However, if it was a dad I simply would not leave her there.
The facts are that 1 in 4 women/ girls will be a victim of sexual assault in their lives. Most people are sexually molested not by some stranger but by someone they know. The vast majority of sexual offenders are men. I have nothing against men but truthfully the facts when it comes to such a topic are stacked against them. You really can't know anyone well enough to know whether they are capable of such a thing. I rather deprive my daughter of one particular social interaction than have to lament something else.
Yes, it's a double standard but it is also reality.
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| Posted 7/7/13 10:58 PM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by gina409
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by olive98
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
Seems like you have issues with men. I find your comments really bizarre. The only people who cheat and swing are the ones that want to. Are you afraid that you will cheat on your husband if you are alone with another man?
No.
I was a guys-girl. All of my friends in college were guys. I learned a lot about how guys think about life and women. I can almost guarantee you that if you were "friends" with a guy, at some point, he wanted to fxcx you. It may not have lasted the entire friendship, but at some point, he did. This is what I observed.
Guys from work taught me a lot. I was the only female in an office of about 20 guys. I am not making this up. The last day I worked there, the manager gave me a going away happy hour. I was moving back to NY. The guys who were my "friends" stayed after the rest of the office headed home. This small group of guys confessed to me that they were totally into me. When I look back at it, I think about how weird the whole thing was. One guy told me about a time when he called me to see if I wanted to go to a ball game. I told him "I just got out of the shower. I'm soaking wet. Maybe next time." He confessed that it totally turned him on. Something so innocent. Someone who was supposed to be a FRIEND.
More guys from work. A married man once told me what he could do to me with his tongue. Another married man gave me a neck massage and played with my hair on the car ride home from a company outing. Another married man asked me to get into a hot tub in my bra and underwear on a company trip. Just a few examples.
While these men didn't cheat, this behavior was completely inappropriate. I was young and single at the time, and didn't realize the gravity of what was happening. Older, and slightly wiser, I like to think I'm not naive. I prefer not to put myself in an inappropriate situation. One on one with a man I barely know. I do try to avoid it. I know that I won't cheat on DH. But I also don't want to put myself in a situation where someone may be disrespected by something said or done.
Not all men are like this. I know that. I guess I have a problem with men. Or, I've just been exposed to so much, I can't put blinders up.
u told a guy i just got out of the shower i am soaking wet and u did not expect him to get turned on?? come on now
sounds to me like you were around horny guys and married sleaze balls.
At the time I was 21 years old. So yes, it came from an innocent place.
Maybe I was around a lot of horny guys, but that was all I was exposed to before I met DH at 23.
The married men, were all my managers. 2 of them had kids. All of these incidents happened when I was between 21-23.
The point I'm trying to make, is that SOME men are not good. SOME men are completely inappropriate. As are SOME women.
I think it's best, and most respectful to my marriage to not hang out with other men, even if it is DCs friends father. Even if it is innocent.
If a SAHD wants to meet us out at a park or whatever, that's fine. If that is the only way the DC will get a playdate, I understand. But, by myself in a home, no.
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| Posted 7/7/13 11:00 PM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by meloyellow
Posted by gina409
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by olive98
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
Seems like you have issues with men. I find your comments really bizarre. The only people who cheat and swing are the ones that want to. Are you afraid that you will cheat on your husband if you are alone with another man?
No.
I was a guys-girl. All of my friends in college were guys. I learned a lot about how guys think about life and women. I can almost guarantee you that if you were "friends" with a guy, at some point, he wanted to fxcx you. It may not have lasted the entire friendship, but at some point, he did. This is what I observed.
Guys from work taught me a lot. I was the only female in an office of about 20 guys. I am not making this up. The last day I worked there, the manager gave me a going away happy hour. I was moving back to NY. The guys who were my "friends" stayed after the rest of the office headed home. This small group of guys confessed to me that they were totally into me. When I look back at it, I think about how weird the whole thing was. One guy told me about a time when he called me to see if I wanted to go to a ball game. I told him "I just got out of the shower. I'm soaking wet. Maybe next time." He confessed that it totally turned him on. Something so innocent. Someone who was supposed to be a FRIEND.
More guys from work. A married man once told me what he could do to me with his tongue. Another married man gave me a neck massage and played with my hair on the car ride home from a company outing. Another married man asked me to get into a hot tub in my bra and underwear on a company trip. Just a few examples.
While these men didn't cheat, this behavior was completely inappropriate. I was young and single at the time, and didn't realize the gravity of what was happening. Older, and slightly wiser, I like to think I'm not naive. I prefer not to put myself in an inappropriate situation. One on one with a man I barely know. I do try to avoid it. I know that I won't cheat on DH. But I also don't want to put myself in a situation where someone may be disrespected by something said or done.
Not all men are like this. I know that. I guess I have a problem with men. Or, I've just been exposed to so much, I can't put blinders up.
u told a guy i just got out of the shower i am soaking wet and u did not expect him to get turned on?? come on now
sounds to me like you were around horny guys and married sleazeballs
i am a guys girl
i live in sweat pants and a pony tail..i am the only girl on a male softball team..i met my dh playing basketball when we were kids
i would rather be at the mets game than shoe shopping..for our anny my dh got me a new hockey jersey and it was exactly what i wanted
most of my friends are guys..i am way more of a boy than a girl..always have been
none of them want to pork me,i have actually hooked most of them up with their wives
u were around a particular group of guys and got really weird things said to you
that is where this all comes from
I have to agree.
I'm not trying to be rude but these are my thoughts:
I don't know many females who would tell a man "I just got out of the shower, I'm soaking wet" and expect them not to get aroused. to me, your comment about being soaking wet is what was inappropriate...not the guys response.
A compliment about losing weight doesn't mean he wants to screw you. It was just an observation. I think it's presumptuous and maybe even a bit conceited to consider it any more than that.
you ACCEPTED a massage and hair play from a married man? If I were that mans wife I'd be livid with the PAIR of you...not just him, single or not.
I can understand not hanging out with a man DH doesn't know alone bc you don't want to make DH or the guys wife uncomfortable. I can understand not wanting to give people something to talk about. But to make it seem like you can't be alone with a man bc they will automatically sexualize the experience is silly.
ETA: not to mention the beach outing was in a group...not one on one.
The shower thing, I was 21 and somewhat innocent at the time, so I didn't MEAN it that way. I didn't think he was attracted to me.
The comment about the weight.....like I said before, I don't think he was hitting on me. But for some reason, I felt awkward about it.
The married man playing with my hair....again I was young, 21, and while that is no excuse.....I didn't realize just how bad that was, at the time.
I don't think everything will be sexualized. I just find it inappropriate, and out of respect for both marriages I just would not do an in home private playdate. I in no way am looking to cheat, or think I ever would. I respect my DH too much to do that. But anyone who says that affairs in general wouldn't stem from these types of situations is out of their mind. So I just avoid the whole situation all together.
Sorry dads. No offense.
Message edited 7/7/2013 11:19:15 PM.
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| Posted 7/7/13 11:16 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Yes, I care. It makes a difference.
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| Posted 7/7/13 11:30 PM |
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Teach723
Have faith. Believe. Dream.
Member since 8/10 2356 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another spinoff to dad at play date: do you care if your daughter is invited to play date and only the dad is home?
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by gina409
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by olive98
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Juliet
My mom was telling that one of her friends' kids experienced a problem where another mom didn't want her daughter to go for a play date when only the dad was home. Do you care?
I would not do a playdate with just a Dad.
If I knew the Dad, and trusted him, I would do a drop off. But I wouldn't sit and hang out with someone elses DH, unless it was a mutual frienf of me and DH.
Out of curiosity, what on earth is your problem with men??
I don't have an issue. I just think it's somewhat inappropriate to hang out with someone else's husband alone like that. Even if the kids are there. Shit happens. Not saying that I would do anything. People can be inappropriate. The stories I've heard from my parents about the other parents in my old neighborhood, swinging and who was cheating on who....and so on. No need for it.
I don't hang out with men alone without the kids, so why use the kids as an excuse?
A friend of mine would do play dates with a "work from home" dad. She went to the house and the wife was there. As she was leaving to go back to work, she said "have fun hanging out with my husband." Not in a laughing manner.
And not for nothing, and I'm NOT saying he was hitting on me. But the dad at the beach commented on how I had lost a lot of weight as I'm standing there in my bathing suit. I'm not saying he was checking me out. But he noticed. And quite frankly, I'm not looking for that when I go to the beach with the girls and the kids.
Seems like you have issues with men. I find your comments really bizarre. The only people who cheat and swing are the ones that want to. Are you afraid that you will cheat on your husband if you are alone with another man?
No.
I was a guys-girl. All of my friends in college were guys. I learned a lot about how guys think about life and women. I can almost guarantee you that if you were "friends" with a guy, at some point, he wanted to fxcx you. It may not have lasted the entire friendship, but at some point, he did. This is what I observed.
Guys from work taught me a lot. I was the only female in an office of about 20 guys. I am not making this up. The last day I worked there, the manager gave me a going away happy hour. I was moving back to NY. The guys who were my "friends" stayed after the rest of the office headed home. This small group of guys confessed to me that they were totally into me. When I look back at it, I think about how weird the whole thing was. One guy told me about a time when he called me to see if I wanted to go to a ball game. I told him "I just got out of the shower. I'm soaking wet. Maybe next time." He confessed that it totally turned him on. Something so innocent. Someone who was supposed to be a FRIEND.
More guys from work. A married man once told me what he could do to me with his tongue. Another married man gave me a neck massage and played with my hair on the car ride home from a company outing. Another married man asked me to get into a hot tub in my bra and underwear on a company trip. Just a few examples.
While these men didn't cheat, this behavior was completely inappropriate. I was young and single at the time, and didn't realize the gravity of what was happening. Older, and slightly wiser, I like to think I'm not naive. I prefer not to put myself in an inappropriate situation. One on one with a man I barely know. I do try to avoid it. I know that I won't cheat on DH. But I also don't want to put myself in a situation where someone may be disrespected by something said or done.
Not all men are like this. I know that. I guess I have a problem with men. Or, I've just been exposed to so much, I can't put blinders up.
u told a guy i just got out of the shower i am soaking wet and u did not expect him to get turned on?? come on now
sounds to me like you were around horny guys and married sleaze balls.
At the time I was 21 years old. So yes, it came from an innocent place.
Maybe I was around a lot of horny guys, but that was all I was exposed to before I met DH at 23.
The married men, were all my managers. 2 of them had kids. All of these incidents happened when I was between 21-23.
The point I'm trying to make, is that SOME men are not good. SOME men are completely inappropriate. As are SOME women.
I think it's best, and most respectful to my marriage to not hang out with other men, even if it is DCs friends father. Even if it is innocent.
If a SAHD wants to meet us out at a park or whatever, that's fine. If that is the only way the DC will get a playdate, I understand. But, by myself in a home, no.
I agree with you. I think it's more than your past experiences. It's just not appropriate in my eyes for my husband to be hanging out with someone's DW and vice versa. I would not be comfortable with that situation at all!!!! Everyone has different views. I'm sure your DH knows how you feel and just wouldn't do that. Same way my DH would probably know that I would not be cool with that.
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| Posted 7/8/13 12:24 AM |
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| Pages: 1 2 [3] |
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