any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

I think they are happy but they never say anyting like how you feeling? How was the dr? They knew i was having my nuichal two weeks ago never asked about the results. etc etc.

i know some might say "oh its bc its your 2nd pregnancy" but realy it was lke this first time around too.

Message edited 10/23/2007 7:55:27 AM.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Yes, I have one friend in particular in my circle of friends who has not onced initiated asking me anything about my pregnancy.

The odd thing about it is that she is the only one of them who is married and the closest to having children herself.

We went out to dinner one night right after one of my doctor's visits and I showed everyone my sono. They all oohed and aahed but she glanced at it, handed it back to me and proceeded with some story she was telling about how much her job sucked.

I was a little annoyed at first, but I've let it go.

Some people just are baby-people.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

For me its not necessarily my childless friends- its those who can't imagine having kids for like 10 years. Most of my childless friends are married and even if they arent planning on kids for a bit they can picture themselves in my position and are very curious and excited.
However I do have one friend who is totally not interested. But I would have expected it from her, I think its because she isnt married yet (although she is engaged) and she doesnt plan on kids for 9 years as she said so she can't imagine why I would get pregnant and why others would want to.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

I'm a little older and pretty much the last of my friends to have children. There are definitely people who are not interested in children at all, but I think when I was single, it just didn't occur to me to ask certain things. I might have asked how someone was feeling, but I was pretty clueless about all the tests and different appointments until I became pregnant myself.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

I was one of those friends. It's not that I was not happy for them, I was ecstatic. But I didn't understand the process and what they were going through to know what to ask.

I never had anyone around me pregnant growing up and I am one of the last of my friends to experience it now. I had not clue as to what was going on and what tests were important.

I wouldn't judge too harshly. If it bothers you, talk to them about it. There may be a good reason for it.

Message edited 10/23/2007 9:35:58 AM.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

well one is single not marred not enaged nothing.

Theotherone is married and desperately wantsa child.

One friend hasnt even called to say congrats..l im 14 1/2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Yes. I can relate. It does hurt your feelings. Especially if you are a sensitive person like myself. But you just have to brush it off.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Yes- this gets me down sometimes. But try not to take it personally- they just can't relate. I'm sure tehy're very happy for you.
I have my mom and sister to inquire every day about every new development- that's their job.
My friends- 3 aren't even married, one is a newlywed- they just can't relate.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

I think that people can act that way for a couple of reasons... #1 they don't really understand what you're going through and don't know the right questions to ask, #2 they're not at that point in their own life and they just don't understand how exciting everything is for you, #3 they are just jealous- and not neccesarily in a mean way, but they may be wishing they were in your shoes and just have a hard time dealing with it.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

i definitly think its a jeoulousy thing with 2 of the 3

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

ok this might get long but here it goes


I grew up with a very tight circle of friends. We have all been close for as long as I can remember. They all still live at home with their parents, none of them have finished school, and they are all single

Dh and I (fiance and I at the time) bought a house last summer. Not one congrats, not one im happy for you, what we did recieve was ( everyone has to start somewhere" and a few " its so tiny its cute" So of course I got hurt...the house is 1800 sq ft, I know thats not huge, but I thought it was decent. Not one housewarming present, not one card..nothing

I am the only married one, got married last year. I recieved no help at all from anyone with anything wedding related. I actually ended up paying for all of their dresses, and for a hotel room for them all to stay in the night of the wedding. I did not recieve a wedding present from any of them, but I brought home presents for all of them from my honeymoon. After the wedding I heard complaints from people " my date didnt want to be there anyway, they had a bad time" " I think for what you paid it could have been nicer" " at so and so's wedding they did things this way" Again I was hurt, my wedding cost dh and my parents over $160k and nobody has anything nice to say? ( not bragging just trying to paint the picture for you all)


Now I am pregnant. I have been asked 100 times what the sex of the baby is, and after I explain that I wont know until January, they continue to ask me constantly. I have mentioned to everyone that I have bad morning sickness and always feel horrible. 3 days ago I get a phone call asking me if they can come over, they want to get out of the house.. I told them I really dont feel up to company, I have been really sick, so what do they do? They come by anyway. When they get here they tell me how bad I look , they also have food with them and eat it in front of me, dont offer me anything, and dont ask me if its ok that they are eating that smelly garlic bread hero. I vomitted 3 times while they were here, and they didnt even ask me how I was feeling. Not one time. I didnt get one congrats, nobody has told me they are excited for us, but few times they have mentioned that I am boring since I have been knocked up, and that when I come to NY to visit, I am going to have to find a sitter for my "beast"

Dh and I decided to move off of LI and go to NC, we just need to start over, with friends like these, its time to get away. So we built a house. We are moving on Saturday. We have no recieved a single congrats, not one " what does your new house look like" not one " where in NC are you moving we want to visit" No offers to help pack they all know I am pregnant, and have severe morning sickness.


Ive finally come to the conculsion that I changed, its not them its me. I moved out got married, bought a house, and am having a baby. All of this has put me at a different place in my life than they are. I used to be really offended that they didnt care, but realized that its not lack of care, its that they havent been throught any of these things. They dont understand how it feels to be treated they way they are treating me. They just cant relate to my life, and the things I am going through. One day, they will, one day it will be them getting married, and buying a house, and having a baby, and I am going to treat them the way I wish they would have treated me. Maybe one day they will look back on all of this and realize what they did to me, and appologize. Or maybe its just time we all go our seperate ways, because I have really outgrown them.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

thansk you everyone for your posts espcially thast last one.

i knwo what you are sayign about being in differet stages BUT.. the one who is married would expect a parade if she were pregnant and theone who is single has been excited for other people( family memeber).

And i am always excited for people no matterw hat my sistuation( not to make myself out to be so greta but its tru)

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Posted by Preguntas

Posted by Maybeababyin08
my friends are jerks

That was some story. That's rediculous, I don't know how you put up with people always putting you down like that.
I took Kung Fu for 2 months- if you ever need help. I am skilled- like Chris Farley in that Ninja movie.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

I'm actually the very last of my friends to have a baby...so I'm getting the opposite reaction.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way...maybe if you spoke with your friends to let them know how you feel, it might make you feel better. I know before my sister got pregnant I was totally clueless as to what was going on...her pregnancy really educated me.

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Do they not ask AT ALL (ie: how are you feeling?) or do they just not ask about the specifics ??

I'm one of the kidless friends, (I peek on the Prego board b/c I hope to not ALWAYS be the kidless friend) and many times I don't ask b/c I just don't have ANY idea what's going on (For example - WHAT is a nuichal ??)
I'll ask the stupid questions lile:
How do you feel?
Do you have any weird cravings?
Are you going to find out the sex?
How's your MS ?

You know, the lame questions people who have never been prego can ask - But as far as remembering their Dr. appts. and things like that - I don't ask. - And it's NOT b/c I don't care or I'm not extremely excited/happy for them - It's just b/c I can't relate and understand what's going on. -

Also, isn't pregnant kind of like being the bride ? To you it's THE event of your life, to your friends, it's THE event in YOUR life .....but not theirs.....so they're happy and excited, but not consumed -

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

i know what your saying it the big event in my life not theirs BUT again its annoying bc for one of them they would want EVERYONE to ask how they are 24/7 and also one hasnt even called me! I was teh last to get enaged yet when they got engaed i was soo happy for everyone!

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

i have the complete opposite... i am the 1st of my friends to be pregnant and they are all great, asking me how i'm feeling and being very supportive

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

I must be very very blessed...
We are the first out of our crew of friends to get married, have a baby, buy a house ect..

Our friends are always over..


I would say 90% of them are all single, male and female. They call text email daily to ask about me and Sofia.
My 'boys" ask all the time about the dr and want to know the funny messages on the tickers... they are amazing!

I have a ton of gifts for her already and my shower is this weekend.

2 of my bff's one male one female spent 10 hrs making a "craft" gift for my shower. I CAN"T wait to see it..

These are all crazy wild club kids.. and they are all beyond estatic about the baby.. they all want to be there when she arrives.. I have 3 friends with bdays around my due date and they have a Sofia bet too going...

Its amazing and we are soooooo blessed.. I can't imagine it any other way...

and those who hate or are jealous or have 7000 excuses on why they can't hang out, come to parties blablabla
those people can beat it!

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Re: any one ever feel ike their kidless friends are not to happy for them?

Posted by MrsSteflily

I was one of those friends. It's not that I was not happy for them, I was ecstatic. But I didn't understand the process and what they were going through to know what to ask.

I never had anyone around me pregnant growing up and I am one of the last of my friends to experience it now. I had not clue as to what was going on and what tests were important.

I wouldn't judge too harshly. If it bothers you, talk to them about it. There may be a good reason for it.