Re: anyone elses DH obnoxious?

Posted by MCD0524

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by curiousO

to those who said they would tell their DH to f off or kick his ass out, i think it is MUCH easier said then done, esp with a small child.

Of course it is! But at the same time, they need to understand that talking to you and treating you that way is unacceptable!
ESPECIALLY with a small child. I wouldn't want my DD to grow up thinking that kind of behavior is ok ever.
While kicking him out of course would be a last resort, this needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP- either through communication, counseling, etc

This is very true. I grew up with a Father who drank a lot and made a ton of comments about my Mother's weight in front of me. He is sober now but it doesn't change the fact that I am obsessed with my weight. My DH could care less how much I weigh yet I am always worried he would make a comment. My Mother spends her life trying to be thin now even my Father is long over his issues...It is a very sad situation to grow up around.

anyone elses DH obnoxious?

He's not obnoxious, he's abusive. I remember a few other posts myself. If things are getting worse instead of better, you should start thinking aboutstarting over.

Re: anyone elses DH obnoxious?

I am not going to sit here and make your feel worse by telling you what you "should" do and how you would be such an ass kicker.

truth be told, if he has always been like this to a certain extent, you are probably weaker than you want to be when it comes to him. maybe you think he's right and that you should be able to do and be all those things and that you deserve what he is dishing to you.

Yes, my dh can be obnoxious. he can be a lot of things that suck at times. but something he is NOT is cruel. something he DOES is love me. and when it really means something, he supports me.

I don't know a single solitary human being that does not have a complaint about any given thing that goes on in their home. We fight about certain things sometimes. he hurts my feelings. I disappoint him. he disappoints me. we are human and it happens.

it's what happens when you bring it up that is important. it's what he says when you force him to acknowlege YOUR feelings, YOUR needs, YOUR expectations that is important.

I havent read any other posts about issues so I don't know if maybe there is more to it than just this posts. other comments are hinting that perhaps there IS more going on with him.

having a baby is huge. not everyone reacts to the change well, as horrible that may be to admit. If he loves you and loves his family, he will have some soul searching to do. and he is going to have to chill out and understand that he needs to let some things go.

I am getting the feeling that you are a SAHM and perhaps he really needs a crash course in how needy a tiny baby can be. how time consuming they are.

I also get the feeling like he doesn't respect your role in the home as much as he demands respect for his role outside of the home.

you need to address the respect issue. for yourself, and for your marriage.

I wish you the best. chin up, young person. none of this is easy.

anyone elses DH obnoxious?

Honestly I'd look into therapy if you want this marriage to work. No matter what size I am my dh respects me too much to everyday anything mean to me. If the house needs cleaning, food needs cooking etc that's both your responsibility as partners. From reading pp comments this isn't an isolated event and it sounds very similar to an abusive relationship I was in. Do you want your child to feel bad about themselves or emulate his bad behavior. Now us the time to make changes or you are going to regret it.

Re: anyone elses DH obnoxious?

If my husband spoke to me like that... I'd be arrested for domestic violence by now.

If he wants you to workout ... he should afford you the flexibility to do so.

You say you used to go to the gym -- tell him to make sure you have coverage for little one and enough time to go there freely.

But I'd phrase it like 'Hey, asshole husband who is being a complete shitthead -- I'd love to go the gym and get more fit for MYSELF... you're going to watch the kid tomorrow from time A to time B while I go the gym and in the mean time... fkk off.'

Re: anyone elses DH obnoxious?

No one realizes what an ahole someone can be till you procreate with them The first year of parenting is so, so hard. The little beings can be SO demanding of everything including our sanity. He may just be reacting to his stress. Either way I would have a sit down with him and talk to him about how you feel and what you need from him. (when everyone is calm and baby is sleeping!)

I would also start leaving him with the baby for 1/2 hrs a night and go to the gym! You might be shocked at how nice (and appreciative!) he is towards you after walking a mile in your shoes !