Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

I've known DH for 13 years and celebrate every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter with his family. Over the years this has turned into 18 adults and kids and there is no way we can host because of the small apartments we've lived in. Honestly, I don't know if we'll ever own anything bigger.

I always offer to show up early, bring whatever they ask me to, help clean up, etc. But, we don't own a house or a large enough space to host, and this makes me feel bad. The family does not break up during the holidays either (like where some end up going to in-laws) so it's not like we can only invite one family over either. We've even joked around where we would go to one of his siblings houses and just spend all morning cooking while they take a break and go out LOL.

DH says to just get over it, but I can't help it. Also, I feel like my kids miss out on having a big holiday, having guests over, etc at their OWN home.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Us. For the same reason.
We don't have the space.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Same here. Thanksgiving for example we're up to about 35 people. Not even half of that would fit in my apartment.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Yup -- same here.

DH and I have been together almost 9 years and married nearly 4. Never hosted Thanksgiving because we just don't have the room.

I hope maybe next year or so if we have a house, we can finally host and give my mom a break.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

we hosted once (thanksgiving) in our apartment two years ago. We fit about 17 people since we had a open dining room into living room. We would be hosting it again in our house but my parents and my brother don't like cats and we have two now.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Us as Thanksgiving has always been his mom's house & she doesn't want to give up control & there's too many people for our small house; Christmas is always at my brothers' in CT & Easter is my mom's. Hmmmm maybe I'll offer to take over Easter this year.

We've been married 4.5 years & together for 8.

But yes, our house is small too & we couldn't fit the kids/people, etc. especially for Turkey Day/Christmas.

Message edited 11/25/2010 9:49:04 AM.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

No. We are married two yrs and have not "taken over a holiday" yet.

My mom likes to host and so does his. Our aunts and uncles also.

We will host one day, when the parents want to give it up.

ETA: Our 2bdrm coop could host a holiday but not as easily as our parents house. When we have a larger home it wouold work better.

Message edited 11/25/2010 9:37:52 AM.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

We don't. In-laws won't give up control - it has to be at their place, at their time, the people they want to invite, and the way they want it.

Hence why we have Thanksgiving 'dinner' at 1PM. I call it Thanksgiving lunch.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Our house isn't really that big for cold weather holidays, so we have never had big holiday gatherings.

even if I wanted to, my mom and DH's aunt can't give them up. I think my mom will have to in a few years, so hopefully we will have a bigger house by then.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Even though we often have the celebration here with my mom & brothers, I don't really consider myself as "hosting" it. I cook some of the food & my mom cooks some & brings it over. It's just the 5 of us anyway. My IL's live a few hours away so we go visit them over the weekend.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

We've been together for almost 6 years, married for 3.5 months We've never hosted a holiday but have had dinner parties before. But, this year we are hosting Christmas Day! Looks like we're gonna have around 25 people Jumping right into it!

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

us! we are in a one bed w/ 2 babies , nuff said

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Us- we been together 10 years and never have. We don't have the space.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

We are new in the house so "no". But we used to host the "break fast" for Yom Kippur because its the kind of meal that is served buffet-style on paper plates. Since we did not have a dishwasher, I wasn't about to serve for more than 4 people on 5 piece China place settings plus crystal and flatware.. Now I will.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

We have an apt, so no we have never hosted. But growing up we never hosted either. We always went to my cousin's house. That was her holiday. My parents always host the 4th of July since they have a pool. I never felt bad about it. Our family shares holidays and each person has a holiday that they always host.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

I'm the youngest of six kids. We're all married. All but DH and I have kids. That's 30 people.

Two years ago the apartment downstairs was empty so I called the landlady and asked if I could use the space. It went SOOOO well because clean up was so easy. Eventually when we get a house, sure, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Us for the same reason..we simply don't have the space for everyone.. but we still have the general family over in spurts.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

We don't have space and I am so not a cook...I can't even imagine beginning to cook a turkey!

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

This is our first holiday married... we have a small apartment.

We probably wont have a house for a few years.

You could always just offer to have your parents over.

People start doing different things at the holidays eventually.

If his parents feel like they need to celebrate with everyone, they can politely decline?

But if you want to host a holiday, you should be able to without having to cater to 20 people.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

We don't have the space either. My mom does every holiday anyway and there abot 25 of us.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

Our immediate families together would be 30+ , we COULD have the space, if we really tried, but our families wouldn't let us anyway.

We are both the youngest on both sides, his
sister and my oldest cousin now have xmas and the 2nd and 3rd oldest on either sides have the rest. We are pretty low in the ranks, and a FEW people would need to retire for us to host anything "good"....my cousin jokes we can have "flag day" Which is ok by me.


We started doing the 4th of July BBQ at my house, since we have the most outdoor space.

Message edited 11/25/2010 7:55:44 PM.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

We only host summer things because there is no way we could fit everyone in our house. I am 1 of 7 and DH is one of 5 - add in spouses and grand kids and it is just too many people.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

dh and i have never hosted a holiday in our home, but we go to the in-laws with about 95% of the meal. we cook everything in their kitchen. Clean and prepare the table both before and after the meal.

Re: Anyone NEVER host a Holiday?

The only thing we do is have a Christmas morning breakfast buffet and the grandparents come over to see what Santa brought the kids. That's it and I'm totally fine with that. We have a very small house and I HATE entertaining family (friends are a different story)