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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Posted by LiveAgain110
Well DH and I were originally on the same page, we wanted to have a ton of kids and have them close in age, but now I'm starting to re-think our original number and space between them.
When you start to have more than 1 you need to think about living space, type of car/truck you own, and especially finances.
Right now we've agreed to enjoy DD as much as possible and give ourselves about 2 years to see where we are at in our lives and if having more would be a good decision.
same here
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Posted 4/21/08 1:48 PM  |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
When I first started dating my DH he said that he wanted 5 kids and I politely wished him and his future wife luck with that 
Then he moved it to 3-4 and I agreed with the 3 - open to 4 if he made a lot of money  
After giving birth to my son and him witnessing the ENTIRE thing...he told me that it was completely up to me and 1 was fine 
Right now we 100% agree that we would like to have 3.
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:00 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
We are 100% on the same page now. When we went to pre-cana for our wedding the leader told us to close our eyes & hold up on our fingers the # of kids we want, then open our eyes and look at what the other has up. DH had 4 and I had 3. I am one of 3 kids; he's one of 4, so maybe that's why we wanted what we wanted. I tell DH if he hadn't waited so long to propose, we could have had 4, but it's too late now. We still go back & forth about 2 or 3. We'll see what happens with #2 and when it happens since my age is a factor. I'm 37 now.
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:04 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
No, we're not on the same page with the number. He wants lots of kids but our ages (both 40+) don't really allow for that. The entire time I was PG with  he was planning for # 2. I think he still is. I always said one and done.
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:06 PM |
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jgm26
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/06 583 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Not at all... its a constant discussion on my part. He is happy with just our daughter, I'd like one more.
I am not dealing with it well, and it is beginning to take a toll on our relationship, to be honest.
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:11 PM |
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JennChris
life moves fast
Member since 5/05 4225 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
DH flipped between wanting 2 and wanting 3.. I always wanted 3.. we have 3 now and we BOTH agree... WE ARE DONE 
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:13 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Yes we are done having our own biological children after one. We both agree on this.
In a couple of years, we may look into adoption if we want a second child though.
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:19 PM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
I hope to have just one more .. DH would have 2-3 more if it were up to him 
Honestly though, if I started having kids when I was younger, I would be on board for 3 or 4.. but I just really don't have that type of time anymore 
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:27 PM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
I think 3 would be great, DH is 100% done at 2, as a matter of fact if I didnt push for #2 I think he would be content at 1. I feel sad that I might not have 3, but I see his point about finances and time ect..
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:32 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
I think so...We originally said 3 or 4 kids, but we are on the fence right now. DS#2 had some health issues until he was 3 months. While the odds of it happening again are slim, I don't think I can go through that emotional roller coster again.
Message edited 4/21/2008 2:34:14 PM.
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| Posted 4/21/08 2:32 PM |
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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Nope, I definitely want a 3rd and he does not. and you're right, there is no compromise. We are more than likely not having a 3rd. Only time will tell, but I can say that the older my children get, and the further away from the baby stage we are, the easier it has become for me to accept it. 
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| Posted 4/21/08 3:58 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
We both agreed that 2 is enough for us!
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:00 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
yes. we both say MAYBE 2 kids.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:00 PM |
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Belladonna219
HOT MAMA
Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
Name:
Belladonna219
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Before DS came along we both said 3 or 4 kids
Now that we actually know what we are talking about we will will be happy with just 2.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:03 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
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I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
I don't know. I know he wants one more, but I may be one and done. I go back and forth on this a lot.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:09 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
For those who want more than DH- why are you the one giving up the child instead of DH having another child? Curious. We are dealing with this and it is not really very easy at all.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:14 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Posted by michele31
Do you and your DH agree on how many children you want in your family?
If not, how are you managing that difference? There really isn't a comprimise. Either you have a baby or you don't LOL.
Hi michele !!! 
Hmm, I'd say we're both gluttons for punishment
Well I come from a big family (not huge but Im one of 4). and he's an only child, so it is shocking that he even wanted more than one (please no replies to that statement, this is in HIS case and his case only... phew)
But he loves the bond the boys have (as brothes, and with daddy).
and so far he's never once said "that's it"
  
but a few of his coworkers were joking around spreading rumors that # 4 was on the way, and it did almost give him a heart attack (I think it would give me one also at this point in time
but to answer the question, yes, we're on the same page with this one 
Message edited 4/21/2008 4:17:20 PM.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:15 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Posted by michele31
For those who want more than DH- why are you the one giving up the child instead of DH having another child? Curious. We are dealing with this and it is not really very easy at all.
Ive wondered this as well. It must be a tough position to be in
It's easy to say one will resent the other, but I agree with you Michele, the resentment can and will go both ways (not just the parent "forced"to have another child)...
Just my thoughts, men think so much more about the financial aspects, (women more about the emotional, spiritual, family dynamic, etc part of it) while YES they (financial aspects) are tremendously important, they are not a decision maker in my personal opinion.
Like I never once thought "we can't afford" another child. "afford" is a word that means something different to everyone, so it never crossed my mind to think about it that way...
i hope my rambled thoughts make sense, and dont offend anyone.
Message edited 4/21/2008 4:22:21 PM.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:21 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
no, not really. We were on the same page when we got married - we both only wanted one child. I'm an only child and that's always been okay for me so I thought it would be okay for my child. Now that we have DD I changed my mind. Also I had a great pregnancy so I won't mind doing it again.
DH says no because of his age - he'll be 43 this summer - and because of $$$. We'll see what happens in a few years when DD hits her terrible twos.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:33 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Now we are. He only wanted 2; I insisted upon 3 well before we were married...and it would be my choice to stop at 2 if I changed my mind. He knew how important it was to me and agreed to 3.
My dad says his biggest regret in life is not going for the 3rd baby. I feel that you may regret NEVER having the "extra" baby, but could never regret having him or her. How can you say after your baby is born, "Gee, I'm really sorry we ever had X."
Message edited 4/21/2008 4:41:52 PM.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:40 PM |
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Karebaby
Precious
Member since 10/06 5304 total posts
Name:
Karyn
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Nope. I am pregnant with my 3rd, and I say I am done, he says he wants 5 but will compromise to 4. I said no. I am the one who gives birth and takes care of them all day, so if I want to stop I am stopping.
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| Posted 4/21/08 4:41 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Yes-
I would really like 4 but financially I don't see us ever being able to swing it...
We've compromised at 3...
However if the money was there DH would go for as many as wanted..
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| Posted 4/21/08 5:02 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
sort of.
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| Posted 4/21/08 5:04 PM |
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purplegirl
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Member since 5/06 2423 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
yes... we both want 2
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| Posted 4/21/08 5:07 PM |
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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Are you and DH on the same page re: # of children
Posted by michele31
For those who want more than DH- why are you the one giving up the child instead of DH having another child? Curious. We are dealing with this and it is not really very easy at all.
There's no clear cut answer. We've been through it a million times....
DH:
We have one of each. They each have their own bedroom. It's one parent per child. I don't make enough money for more children.
ME:
I would love to have same sex siblings to share special bond (not that boy and girl can't, it's just different). Sharing a room isn't bad, I shared with 2 of my sisters for many years. I see it as 1 mom, 2 kids because he's working all the time. I know I can handle a 3rd.
As I said, since DD is 2 now, we've moved well past the baby stage, and I'm beginning to like it. It does get easier. But it doesn't take away my want for more.
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| Posted 4/21/08 5:10 PM |
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