Are you breast feeding?

I was surprised to hear from a friend of mine that she's gotten unsolicited questions, comments, and opinions from other Moms (some were complete strangers) about whether she was breast feeding or not. People even went so far to judge her answer and tell her she was right or wrong for her choice.

I was appalled. As childfree people, would you ever think to ask someone such a question? Is that something that changes once you give birth?

Maybe it's me, but I see that as highly personal and then for someone to offer their opinion on what you are or aren't doing... what the F?

I think the only CF equivalent would be someone asking how much money you make. I make none of your #$%^&* business, thankyouverymuch! And even that doesn't involve a part of your body that most people will never see.

For the Mom lurkers, is that a normal thing, something you just have to get used to? If you don't want to answer, what do you say?

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I have asked my closest friends their plans re: BF or FF simply out of curiousity. Usually they just share with me on their own.

I ask them what factored into their decision, if people are jerks about asking them/telling them what they should/shouldn't do (and usually they are).

I have no opinion either way on how someone feeds their kid but even though I'm child free I have asked before. It comes up when I'm asking them other things about their pregnancy and all things baby related.

Why was my response so long?

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I would never ask b/c

1. it's kinda rude (unless you know the person and feel comfortable)

2. I don't care

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I asked a friend one time, and one time only - and that was because I was planning on making her a gift basket after the baby was born, and didn't know whether to add BF stuff or not. Definitely not because I though one answer would be better than another. I agree that it's a very personal topic, and not something that anyone should have to justify to an uninvolved party.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I've asked close friends before about it -- but just because I'm curious...I would NEVER tell someone their choice is wrong or something. That's just rude!

I'm actually starting to prepare myself for the rude people who will throw their unsolicited opinions about it.

My own father already started and asked if I was going to.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

A friend of mine was complaining about this. I told her if someone asked me if I was BF or FF, I would looked shocked and say, "YOU MEAN I HAVE TO FEED IT????"

Re: Are you breast feeding?

i don't think that is ever a question that pops in my mind for someone who is pregnant. Why on earth should i care how they feed their kid.

Sometimes nursing sucks, my mom gave me a week then gave me a bottle. My SIL had to switch because of allergies, etc. I just don't get why some people are so obsessed with bf or titt fed kids.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I'd only ask a close friend if the topic came up. I'd certainly never ask a stranger or someone I didn't know that well. That's really, really rude to say the least.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I wouldn't ask that Q - only because it can come across really rude, and honestly, its not my place to ask. If it does come up , for example, if I'm holding my friend's baby and I get to feed her I kinda ask..

But I did have my SIL, who did not BF berate a mutual friend for wanting to BF so bad! Now that is a big no, no..

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Posted by Kara

A friend of mine was complaining about this. I told her if someone asked me if I was BF or FF, I would looked shocked and say, "YOU MEAN I HAVE TO FEED IT????"

Re: Are you breast feeding?

i ask family and friends. imo i dont think its rude to ask a question. i only ask because im curious.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Posted by greenfreak

Posted by Kara

A friend of mine was complaining about this. I told her if someone asked me if I was BF or FF, I would looked shocked and say, "YOU MEAN I HAVE TO FEED IT????"

Awesome.

Message edited 11/3/2010 4:09:36 PM.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Posted by jilliibabii

I think the CF equivalent of this question is spit or swallow?

Re: Are you breast feeding?

when you are pregnant, your entire body seems to become available for conversation.

it's insane. the **** people ask you about.

and it's one thing for someone to ask. it's another thing for them to try to make you feel a certain way b/c of it.

I don't think it's rude to ask, I think it's rude to be an ******* after your question is ansnwered.

hope it's ok that I anwered. I was checking in on the dirty one and this caught my attention just a little.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I sometimes ask moms that I am friendly with or 1st time pregnant moms...mainly because if they are I want them to know I am an open book and can try and help if needed.

And also, I am warning them...because my boob will probably be out within the hour.

But I never ever preach or anything. I don't pry. I have heard it all though. who has inverted nipples, who has the husband who isn't comfortable sharing, who is on meds...so many reasons...I feel like people are in confession once i slip my hooter hider on.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Re: Are you breast feeding?

When DS was an infant this happened with alarming regularity - total STRANGERS either asking "are you nursing???" (and NOT nicely, kind of aggressively actually) or even WORSE imho, the smug mugs who just stated "Oh what a healthy little guy... obviously you're bf'ing...

I was SOOOOOOOOO taken aback by that I was speechless! And that NEVER happens to me. After the first few times I just said no- he's on formula, thanks! and would throw in a perfect little hair flip while I turned on my heel. Although with that one b!tch at Dunkin Donuts I did lie and say "Oh I can't BF, I'm on sooooooooo many meds "

Honestly, pre-baby, post-baby, it would NEVER CROSS MY MIND to ask ANYONE how they're feeding their spawn. NEVER.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I'm a parent and would NEVER ask someone this. Rude and tacky.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

When I was pregnant I think maybe 2 people asked me my intentions - I BF my daughter (much longer than most but that's another thread ). Honestly, I don't find it an inappropriate or rude question. It's a natural thing to do so it shouldn't be such a taboo topic...perhaps then it would be more accepting/comfortable.

That said, I would be irked if someone became judgmental or rude about my answers.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Is it really rude to ask? I mean, Im not talking about asking complete strangers but honestly, I'd just ask out of curiousity I tend to be an open book so I dont think Id be offended if someone asked me that once I had a child

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Posted by MaZz

Is it really rude to ask? I mean, Im not talking about asking complete strangers but honestly, I'd just ask out of curiousity I tend to be an open book so I dont think Id be offended if someone asked me that once I had a child

Re: Are you breast feeding?

Posted by Kara

A friend of mine was complaining about this. I told her if someone asked me if I was BF or FF, I would looked shocked and say, "YOU MEAN I HAVE TO FEED IT????"

Re: Are you breast feeding?

It's not something I don't remember ever asking anyone and not something I would bring up in conversation because it's not my business.

Re: Are you breast feeding?

I'd never ask that question - I think it's a personal decision, and honestly I could care less how someone was feeding their child.
It's also kind of pervy, like asking to see someone's boob.

I didn't even ask my own sister that question when both my niece and nephew were born.