Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

The news has been having an effect on me. so much so that I have been shying away from it. Movies like Precious and the little girl Shaniya Davis and countless others like her seem to be in my head constantly and I wonder if other moms are affected the same way or is it just my genetic makeup KWIM thats making me so sensitized?

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I was always sensitive and empathetic...crying at news, commercials etc

DH would like I was crazy

Now that I have 2 kids I am 100% worse--knowing these tragedies happen to parents just like me is beyond my comprehension

i really dont know how some parents go on

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Yes It bothers me tremendously. I sometimes won't open a post on here (news article link) if I know it will bother me for days, sometimes weeks.

Remember your family friend, the little girl in Jamaica?Well I still for her. I still think about it- that's how bad I am.

Message edited 11/19/2009 1:55:49 PM.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I am more sensitive now because I can see it on a different level.

For example, when I was in my 20s & one of my co-worker's daughters was killed in a car accident, I could relate to losing a sister. After I had my kids, when my SIL was on life support & passed away, I could relate with my FIL losing a child.

I'm sure someone is going to misconstrue this into a "I'm not a parent yet, so she's saying I have no feelings" kind of crap but becoming a parent allows you to relate to loss (and loss in the news) on a different level. Similar to becoming a pet owner makes you relate to someone else's pets in a different way. Being a parent IS NOT the same as being an aunt, an uncle, or having a pet.

Hoping this makes sense as I'm on a con call.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Yes, absolutely.....Now that I have children, any sad news hits me 100x as hard, because I can't imagine the loss....

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I have definitely changed. I was aware but not affected of the sadness out there. Now I am distraught and I literally stay up at night pryaing for those that we don't hear about on the news.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I think I was sensitive and compassionate before being a mom, but now it is different. I cannot even listen to stories of child abuse and neglect. I hear it and my eyes tear up. I do not listen to the news or watch stories on TV about children being abused, killed or neglected. DH is the same way, he tells me to turn the channel immediately.

ETA: for example-this morning on my ipod Pat Benater's song Hell is for Children came on and I couldn't even listen to that!

Message edited 11/19/2009 1:41:54 PM.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

when it comes to abuse - I'm sensitive but detached - I have control over how i treat my son - it upsets me when others don't, but i know my little boy will never be abused if I have anything to do with it

when it comes to accidents that happen that no one can control, yes - it kills me. Children who get killed in car accidents, freak things, wherever I can't control it - that affects me deeply.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

1000 times more sensitive. I was always a crier. Sappy commercials were my downfall, but ever since I learned I was pregnant it is too much to bear. I totally agree that becoming a parent gives you a whole new perspective. It also makes me wonder why some of these awful parents that hurt their children are uncapable of having this new perspective of wanting no harm to come to their children. It makes me sad at times and I sometimes wish I didn't bring my DS into such a world.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I've always been a very sensitive emotional person. I think being a mom now has made me more paranoid about things like germs. I used to not be like that before.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

It would bother me before, but now its totally different. With the Shanya girl, the thought of actually harming my own child is just nuts. The thought that someone else could is even more nuts. I feel for that father, I see my husband and the love he has for DS and my heart breaks for that dad. So, yeah having a child has def made me more of a sap. It has softened me A LOT. Sometimes to much.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

It always bothered me, buts its on a WHOLE new level now that Im a mom.

Everytime I hear one of these stories, I think of my DS and how i couldnt imagine if it were him or me instead of the people on the news.

I think its bc you know the love of a child like you couldnt even fathom before you had one, and the utter anguish it must cause a mother to lose her DC or for someone as small and innocent as your own DC to go through something so horrible. Just rips my heart out!

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Posted by carolyns4cupcakes

Yes It bothers me tremendously. I sometimes won't open a post on here (news article link) if I know it will bother me for days, sometimes weeks.

Remember your family friend, the little girl in Jamaica?Well I still for her. I still think about it- that's how bad I am.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I pretty much always was...especially anything involving children. But now...I can't even watch or listen to any of it. When I heard what happened to that baby in Australia, I REFUSED to watch the video, even if she did survive.

And as beautiful as the story of the kids who gave up their baby for adoption on 16 and Pregnant...I'm sure I would've cried anyway, but after just becoming a mom at the time I was a complete disastrous crying mess.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Definately!

I was always sensitive to these kind of issues. In fact, I read the book that Precious was based off of in college and was very affected by it.

However, since becoming a mother I can honestly say that the pain I feel when I hear about something happening to a small child is immeasurable. I think it is because I automatocally think of it as if it wew MY child to who this happend to. That is who I picture and that is my frame of reference - KWIM?

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I was always someone who was very practical and took things in stride. As a counselor I see horrific stuff all the time so as a result I am pretty desentisitized. But anything involving a child now just kills me! Especially when I think of the parent- I cry so easily about this stuff.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I am definately much more sensitive now that I have children because I see everything as a mother. I just cannot imagine how I could live if anything happened to my children, so when I see anything on the news I immediately think of the mother & usually feel like I can't breath for a little while

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I was always super sensitive....very easy crier, etc. Now that I am a parent, I actually feel pain inside and well up in tears when I hear something regarding children... I often have it on my mind for the remainder of the day

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I am the same way I always was. I always put myself in other's shoes, and felt great empathy for them. THat's why I care greatly about animals, b/c they are helpless just as children are.

Re: Are you more sensitive now you are a parent or were you always that way (sensitive subject)

I have always had a very hard time with stories with child molestor, abuse, children tortured before being killed, etc.. I have not been able to open that article on the other board about the little girl. I felt nauseated right away. I may read it but I could not when it was posted. It disturbs me way too much without being upset to my very core.

Even more now that I have DS. And I agree with Barb. I was affected by it before DS but now I imagine it could be "my" child going through something so horrific. Not only I am reacting as human being but also as a mother.

I know DS and how he cries if something bothers him. I can't imagine what those children go through being tortured and not a loved one to help them. The dispair they must feel in addition to the pain.