Question about a name - sensitive subject

This can be a sensitive subject, I don't want to offend or upset anyone. I am in a weird place and I don't know how I feel about it. I made it to 11w5d. Of course, DH and I had discussed names, I mean, this was the 3rd time I was pregnant, so of course, the name thing had come up. We had pretty much settled on boy names, couldn't agree on a girl name..it turns out I would have had a boy.

Now I don't know how I feel, should I become pregnant again (since I've been doing IUI's 4 months in a row, I think about it in my 2ww) and it's a boy, using those names again. I kind of feel like I shouldn't.



Does anyone else feel like I do or should I not even think on it?

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

I think it's a personal decision.
When I went to church (before 8 weeks) and announced to a few people there that I was having a miscarriage one of them told me that she had made it to 8 weeks and that she KNEW (not sure if they tested or if she 'just knew' and I didn't ask her) that they were having a boy- and they named him Michael.
My DH 'just knew' that we were having a boy, and I thought so as well, though there's really no way to prove it b/c we didn't do any testing- my beta stayed so low the entire time... I didn't mention naming our angel baby and DH never brought it up or mentioned it after he heard her say it in front of him.
I really do think it's a personal decision. If you love the name, IMO there's nothing wrong with using that name in the future. We know the names that we love already, and someday when we're blessed enough to be parents, we'll figure out which name(s) we'll use. I hope that helps you.

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

Thanks Shannon! I guess it will be something I'll have to figure out WHEN i get there, because I will!!!

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

I have been thinking about the SAME thing lately. I wish I knew what to tell you, Im still wondering what I will do myself.

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

Posted by dm24angel

I have been thinking about the SAME thing lately. I wish I knew what to tell you, Im still wondering what I will do myself.

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

wow, I feel the same way.

1st pregnancy we picked names we really liked.
I am in love with 2 girls name & DH loved a boy's name.

I feel like those names belonged to that baby. I associate those names with that pregnancy and they make me sad.

2nd pregnancy I had a rule, no discussion of names ! Which will be my rule going forward.


I'm not sure if I will be able to use those names when the time comes.

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

Good questions..we also kind of have our name too..it is in honor of my DH brother who passsed. We found out that our 1st preg was a boy and it made me soo sad because i know how much my Dh wanted a boy to be able to pass on the name etc...but what we decided with our last pg (4th) was that we will name the baby someday when they come the name boy or girl..it would work both ways...if we are lucky enough to have one we don't know if we will get too many opportunities so it is important to us. So not sure if that helps answer your questions or not but that is what we decided..

my thing is we always called the 2 babies that made it to heartbeats and beyond beans..my hubby's nickname with his family is bean and so we called them baby bean..with each sono i labeled them baby bean date etc and it is how we reffered to them...i feel like i won't be able to call the next pregnancy that and it makes me sad...i also don't think i will be able to do much of anything until we make it out of that precious 12 week mark..or even beyond...

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

in my situation... when i had the baby, they wouldnt let me see him/her... i would have found out the sex if they did let me see...
so with that being said.. since i dont know what it was... we are still using the boy or girls name that we had .. if i KNEW what the sex was, i would not use the name for the future if i had the same sex baby

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

I'm also in a slightly different situation. We were almost at six months so we had a name picked.
He was baptized when he was born and was buried, so we will never use his name for another child.

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

Another issue we are facing is if we should name the baby we just lost. since we knew it was a girl and had a girls name picked out. I do love the name and wanted to name my girl that and now I think I will feel weird. But NO, yoru not alone in these thoughts

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

I am debating the same thing. We had a name picked for our baby girl, and I love it. We didn't tell anyone the name, but I feel like it was for that pregnancy. I don't know if we will use it again, or go for our secondary girls name and then eventually reuse the name.

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

IMO it's how comfortable you are using the name again after your loss. My dh had a baby before him and I were together and the baby passed away, they named him after dh. Well when we got married and had kids of our own he asked if we could use that name and I said no because I felt that name belonged to his son that passed and that it wouldn't be right. Then when we experience our loss I knew in my heart what I was having and then had it confirmed by the dr I had a name picked and in my head when I think of my baby I address her with her name. If I would of had another girl I wouldn't of used it because again I just felt that belonged to her. I really feel it's a personal choice. However just wanted to let you know your not alone

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

If I'm totally honest, I think it depends on how much you identified with being pregnant and whether or not you felt like you were having a 'baby' - I know many people won't agree with me.

I miscarried at 11 weeks - and at that point we hadn't told a lot of family. I had had one sonogram and saw a heartbeat, but there wasn't much to see (it was about 6+ weeks) and DH wasn't with me at the time. It's hard for me to really believe that I was actually pregnant, so although we've always had names picked out, I don't really associate those names with my lost pregnancy - so yes, we would probably use them.

But you're not alone, this is something I've thought about as well

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

I had a son. His name was Christian. I call him Chris. It's one of my favorite names. I may use it as a middle name if I am ever blessed with a son again.

I think it's a personal choice. I didn't tell anyone his name so they wouldn't know.

Re: Question about a name - sensitive subject

We had discussed names, but since I only made it to 8.5 weeks, we didn't know the $ex. We had settled on a girls name and were 80% settled on a boys name. We would use those names again, but we never called the baby by the names we chose.

It is a personal choice. See how you feel about it next time. Time will tell.