Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

My DS#1 has known our Nanny since he was 3 months old. He is now 2 years old. She stayed on throughout my maternity leave with DS #2 to keep #1's routine the same.

For the past 2 months, every time our Nanny comes, he has a HORRIBLE reaction. Screams, says "No Morgan, No Morgan", CLINGS for LIFE to whomever he is with.

Now, I wouldn't think it odd if he had this reaction whenever someone else watched him but he DOESN'T. It is ONLY with the Nanny. He is FINE with my Mom (his Grandma), my sister-in-law, his other Grandparents who only see him once a month if that.

Would this alarm you? Are kids just smart enough to know that she is not family?

We also let the Nanny take him out - she has brought him to ceramics, Panera, children's Museum, the Mall etc etc. and they always seem to have a good time and do a cute project together.

My Mom just called me in tears because she said that when the Nanny came (she is only there for 1/2 the day) DS was CLINGING to her for dear life and SCREAMING.

WWYD?

Message edited 4/26/2011 1:50:46 PM.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

That would really bother me....I'd probably go w/my gut feeling (listening to him)....

It sucks but I guess I'd err on the side of caution?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

I would be concerned..did you ever ask the Nanny why she thinks he is doing this?? Maybe it is just a phase but I would want to investigete to the fullest.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Did something happen?

It strikes me as odd that he would be totally fine with her up until this point..

and I understand your point of family versus nanny but your nanny has been in your child's life from early on so in his eyes, this person would be viewed as a family member (ie someone he would be comfortable with)..

My kids adored their nanny.. she was a part of our family.. I still keep in touch with her and they still speak to her with much love and always tell her she is missed..

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

When you see your relatives is it only to watch your ds? If not maybe he is associated the nanny with everyone leaving him at home. It might be some sort of separation anxiety.

I would definately ask the nanny if he is behaving differently with her or is it just when she arrives and someone else leaves him.

My older ds did this for a few days as well when I would leave. It was a short phase.

Poor little guy

Message edited 4/26/2011 1:59:27 PM.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Remember, it may not be that she did something to him.. I don't want to alarm you.. but perhaps something happened while they were together that he associates with being with her? kwim? maybe he fell while they were out or some other child was mean to him, etc. that sort of thing.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Message edited 4/26/2011 2:15:33 PM.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Not sure how articulate your son is, but have you asked him why he doesn't want to go with the Nanny. I have a two year old and while I am far from understanding all that he tells me, I can get the gist of what he's trying to communicate.

ETS: This would be a red flag for me. I would have to know why all of a sudden he has this reaction.

Message edited 4/26/2011 2:20:26 PM.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Im tending to lean more toward a seperation anxiety thing...but it is strange that he does not do it with anyone else...I'd ask the nanny if she can think of any reason why he is like this

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Posted by brownie

Posted by Lucky09


He is pretty articulate... I guess I need to try to ask him.

A few months ago I asked him when he started hitting "Where did you learn hitting?"
Does Mommy Hit? No.
Does Daddy Hit? No.
Does Grandma Hit? No.
Does Morgan Hit? He starts nodding head yes.

At the time I sort of brushed it off thinking he didn't really get it... But now...

Ughhhhh.

This would be a red flag for me....sorry you have to deal with this

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by brownie

Posted by Lucky09


He is pretty articulate... I guess I need to try to ask him.

A few months ago I asked him when he started hitting "Where did you learn hitting?"
Does Mommy Hit? No.
Does Daddy Hit? No.
Does Grandma Hit? No.
Does Morgan Hit? He starts nodding head yes.

At the time I sort of brushed it off thinking he didn't really get it... But now...

Ughhhhh.

This would be a red flag for me....sorry you have to deal with this

Thanks. I was home with them for 4 months during my maternity leave... Things seemed fine which is why I didn't make much of this at the time.

Now I am second guessing it. I am going to try to talk to him tonight and see if he will say anything.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by brownie

Posted by Lucky09


He is pretty articulate... I guess I need to try to ask him.

A few months ago I asked him when he started hitting "Where did you learn hitting?"
Does Mommy Hit? No.
Does Daddy Hit? No.
Does Grandma Hit? No.
Does Morgan Hit? He starts nodding head yes.

At the time I sort of brushed it off thinking he didn't really get it... But now...

Ughhhhh.

This would be a red flag for me....sorry you have to deal with this

Thanks. I was home with them for 4 months during my maternity leave... Things seemed fine which is why I didn't make much of this at the time.

Now I am second guessing it. I am going to try to talk to him tonight and see if he will say anything.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

Any update?

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

I would get rid of her immediately. He is obviously scared of her and this would be a red flag for me. It's not like she's a teacher or therapist who's coming to the house to "work" with him and he's trying to get out of it. It's the nanny and the nanny should be playing with him and caring for him. If you are uncomfortable with getting rid of her put in a camera.

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

you get the answers you need. Please keep us posted!

Re: Bad reaction to Babysitter - is this normal?

My girls are 2 1/2 and when I see a scratch on them or a bruise I ask them what happened. They tell me mommy did it. Which I didn't because I am just walking in the door. So, it may just be a coindience.

Also, my brother is my nanny/babysitter. If I leave my house after they wake up, they flip out. If my sister law comes over and babysits randomly, they don't flip out. They know that Uncle Eddie is coming because mommy is going to work.

I just wanted you to hear another point of view. Being a teacher and around kids it always worries me when people think the worst. Even though I strongly believe you have the right to your feelings. I know if I felt something was up with my girls I would do everything possible to investigate.