Behavior issues with a toddler after new baby??

I need some BTDT advice PLEASE! DS has become so angry and is acting out constantly since the baby came home actually since we came home because the baby stayed in the NICU. I knew this could happen but now that I am in it I am not sure what exactly to do. Since the baby has been home DH has taken him out to do special things with him 3 or 4 times just the two of them I have also tried to spend time reading books and such. Everytime he acts out we try to aknowledge his feelings and explain why its not ok but he just laughs. My question is do I punish him when he acts out or will that make it worse??
I am so desperet I miss my little boy and I feel bad that I am loosing patients with him.

Re: Behavior issues with a toddler after new baby??

anyone????

Re: Behavior issues with a toddler after new baby??

DS had some huge issues the first week we were home from the hospital. Then it got better and now I feel his behavior is age related, not baby related.

The first few days we sort of ignored his poor behavior. To be honest, with me recovering from a c-section, the twins, and life, we really didn't have much time to even think about how to deal with DS.

I feel like this also gave him a chance to express how he was feeling in his own way. After those first few days we snapped back into our routine. And his bad behavior (yelling, throwing toys, tantrums) were dealt with. Either time out, talking/explaining to him, etc.

Good luck. It is a hard adjustment, but it does get better. DS loves his little sisters so much. He gets mad when I BF them because then they "go sleep" as he says.

Re: Behavior issues with a toddler after new baby??

not sure hold old ur ds is but my ds was 17 months old when his brother was born..
ds was jealous.. if we were feeding the baby, he wanted to be picked up.. started hitting him on his feet/legs.

either dh or i would pick ds up when the other was feeding the baby - play with him/distract him. outside is starting to get nice so that helps out alot bc now im home alone with the boys..
we taught him to be nice and gentle and kiss his brother and then praise him by clapping and jumping up and down if he did that.. i think that helped ALOT. he was happy to please us and now its constant kisses and caresses!

we had a friend who came over and was all over the baby and ds was sooo upset. of course he cant talk but he was crying and throwing temper tantrums. i noticed he was upset bc my friend always plays with him but this time was kinda ignoring him and holding the baby.. i put the baby in his pnp and william calmed down right away..

it wasnt overnight that he was ok with his brother.. friends and family would come over and i would ask if they would pay attention to both not just the baby.

it took a good 3 weeks. now he doesnt care who holds his brother. it gets better.. just pay attention to him and he will get used to having a new person in the house

Re: Behavior issues with a toddler after new baby??

My DS is 2.5 and in the beginning needed extra attention when DD came home. He would do things like jump on the couch or harass the dog because he knew it would get him attention. When he didn't listen, he sat in time out. That's how it was before DD so I didn't see any reason to change things. We had a few tough days when he wouldn't listen and had to sit in time out a few times, but it has gotten much much better.

DD is 5 weeks old now and DS seems to accept that she is staying It just takes time for them to adjust to the new routines and the fact that your attention is divided.

Re: Behavior issues with a toddler after new baby??

Thank you so much. I really just felt guilty doing time out but I know its for the better. He is great with the baby just not to us.