Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

DD will be 4 in March. She seems to be going from bad to worse. Everything is a battle. She doesn't listen at all. I don't even know what to do with her anymore. I also have a 10 month old DD and I think that jealousy is rearing it's ugly head. Older DD is wanting me to feed her dinner, carry her to bed at night, etc. Everyone tries their hardest to give her a lot of attention while the baby is sleeping since when she is up, she is a handful.

I work full time, so I feel like all her cargivers are starting to lose it with her since everything is a battle. How do I deal with this? I don't even know where to start. We try punishing her when she needs it. She gets put in her room and is left there to scream it out. Yet, she can turn it on an off so easily, so I know part of it is an act. I am hoping that this is a very short lived phase and I get my sweet little girl back - oh, don't dare call her little - she is Big....I forgot...

Re: Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

It sounds like you are going through what I was when DS was 3.5 and DD was 13 mths. He is 4.5 now....going to be 5 at the end of Feb. I also work full time.

It was a phase ....and it almost drove me over the edge. Part of it was jealousy (bc DD started walking) and part of it was just him testing his independence and not being able to express everything he was feeling. I can tell you that it got so bad that we almost did not give him his big XMas gift bc he threw a nightmare tantrum on XMas eve.

My sister instead told me to give him a letter from Santa. So on XMas morning at 1am, I wrote him a letter. Basically it started with what a great kid he was, what he needed to improve (be patient, kind to his sister, listen to mommy and daddy) and then ended with thanking him for the milk and cookies, telling him that i would be watching him in the next year and again reiterating what a good boy he was.

It worked for a few weeks, he went through another independence seeking phase. I feel like when he was finally able to express his feelings it got a lot better. Good luck!

Re: Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

Re: Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

I am a SAHM- and my older DS went through a similar phase. He is now almost 5 and things are much better!

It peaked when his brother was a baby, and he is now 2 and they play together a lot. Once the baby became less "needy" and was able to walk, talk, interact more, it got better.

It is really hard when you are in the middle of it- but it will get better! It sounds like you are doing everything right. This age can require lots of patience at times!!

Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

DS did better with positive reinforcement at that age - aka - sticker charts. I have a grid paper (looks like bingo) that I just put stickers on for good behaviour. You can also google "free printable sticker charts" and get some good ones for specific actions. Chuck-E-Cheese has some too if you are willing to take DS there. IF they get 14 stickers they get 10 free tokens with the purchase of a food item (a small drink counts). I get down on DS's level and tell him what I need to say calmly. Once I loose it, its over.

BTW - typical behaviour. GL

Re: Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

Honestly, that was THE WORST age for us so far. DC probably out grew it by 4.5 or so.

Re: Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

I am right there with you. I have a 3.5 year old and a 2 year old.

The 3.5 year old is horrible. My Mom and babysitter are at their wits end with him.

Last night we actually had the Elf bring our 2 year old a large toy and not one for him, because he DOES NOT listen. The Elf wrote a note that basically said "if you take your medicine today, you will get a toy tomorrow" and my 3.5 year old said "I'm not taking it, I don't want any more toys. I have enough". Nothing works and I am at my wits end.

I have done the sticker charts and they are effective for a short time but it gets annoying because he will start asking for a sticker for every.little.thing, and then throws a tantrum when I reiterate the "rules" for the stickers.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I definitely feel your pain.

Re: Behavioral Issues in a 3.5yr old

Posted by Lucky09

I am right there with you. I have a 3.5 year old and a 2 year old.

The 3.5 year old is horrible. My Mom and babysitter are at their wits end with him.

Last night we actually had the Elf bring our 2 year old a large toy and not one for him, because he DOES NOT listen. The Elf wrote a note that basically said "if you take your medicine today, you will get a toy tomorrow" and my 3.5 year old said "I'm not taking it, I don't want any more toys. I have enough". Nothing works and I am at my wits end.

I have done the sticker charts and they are effective for a short time but it gets annoying because he will start asking for a sticker for every.little.thing, and then throws a tantrum when I reiterate the "rules" for the stickers.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I definitely feel your pain.