Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Just got back from school and feeling like a crappy, frazzled working mom

Today was show and tell. Well, how would I know it was posted by the classroom and since I do dropoff at most once a week, I didnt see it. My nanny didnt see it either bc one of my friends usually brings him into the school so she can stay outside with DD and not have to lug her all the way in there. Even if they sent a notice home, those papers get lost in the piles of mail that I never manage to get through in a timely manner (hence I missed his last turn for snack).

UGH, this is so not like me... At work I'm known for being the superorganized one but at home, I cant keep up. I leave at 6am and get home at 6:30pm. By the time we cook, eat, bathe, books, bed, it's 9pm and I have to take a shower, blow out my hair and go to bed myself. I'm so tired and nothing ever gets done on weeknights so weekends are crazy when all I want to do it spend quality time with the kids. I had been taking Fridays off since maternity leave which helped a TON but that ended with the New Year. And Im waiting to see if my request to WFH once a week gets approved but it has to wait until Feb bc its a bad time of year to be asking things like that. As it is, I didnt request doing to 4 days a week like I originally planned bc I realized soon after going back that my job just cant be done in 4 days and there's nobody to pass anything off to.

I just had to get that out bc I'm overwhelmed and there's no end in sight Am I alone here or do all working moms feel like this?

Message edited 1/7/2011 9:36:51 AM.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I feel EXACTLY like you do.
I feel like I am just surviving.
I figured out that I have EXACTLY 1/2 an hour to myself each night.
That 1/2 an hour is used for scarfing down a sandwich or watching one 1/2 hour tv show.
Then I have to get in the shower and go to bed myself.
NOTHING gets done. It's piling up and I feel like I will NEVER catch up.

It's maddening

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I think all working moms feel like this. Im going thru this too

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I feel the same way.

I'm thankful DH does a lot around the house (he's in the FDNY so he works different days/hrs each week but, he's home in larger blocks than I am).

I also have the one day from home which is nice to not have to deal with the commute.

I feel wtih the house, I've gotten so far behind, I'm not sure where to start!!!

On top of this, DS still doesn't STTN. He was getting pretty close and then he got a few teeth, a few ear infections, a cold and the chicken pox so I'm shot!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Same feelings here. It really really stinks.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

You are not alone. I always knew it was hard, but now actually being a mom and WFT, it's harder than I realized. I reallllllly don't know how people do it. Seriously. I live in a coop apartment, not a huge house, and I can't keep up. I know eventually we'll move to a bigger place, especially once we decide to have #2, and to be honest, I'm dreading the idea of keeping up with a bigger home.

And my DS doesn't go to daycare (we rotate between me on weekends, DH on his days off, and MIL 3 days a week), so I'm not even as frazzled as you in that sense, so I can imagine how much worse it would be to keep up with a school or daycare schedule.

When DS starts school, when we have #2... I just can't imagine how much more frenzied life will be.

It sucks. It really sucks. I never, ever thought I'd want to be a SAHM. Actually, in an ideal world, I'd work PT, say 3 days a week for 6-8 hours a day. Near home, like 15 min commute. That would be ideal to me. Instead, I'm out for 11-12 hours a day, commute at least 45 minutes each way (I know some of you have it much worse), and by the time I get home, it's bath, dinner, bedtime, and then pick up around the place and collapse. Either that, or go to bed at 2am trying to get something done that I need/want to and then I only get a few hours of sleep.

It's hard. I agree. You are not alone.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Aw, I feel so bad reading this. I did the working mom thing for only 20 mos, but boy was I frazzled! Constantly go go go with nothing to show for it frequently.

If it makes you feel any better, my DD has show and tell EVERY Friday and I forget to send her in with something...oh, about 2 out of 4 weeks!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I would definitely speak to the teacher and ask for a calendar so you don't miss out on things or forget anything that you want to participate in. I think that would help a lot and it will make it seem like you want to be really involved so they should like that.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I honestly dont know what i'm going to do if/when we have #2 and when DD starts kindergarden then gets older and has afterschool stuff to do. Luckily i have my inlaws close so hopefully they will help if needed.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I can 100% relate to this.

Said it before and I will say it again, being a FTWM is the hardest thing I've ever done. Emotionally, physically, etc.

Keep doing the best you can, that's all anyone can expect of you..including yourself!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Posted by Eireann

Aw, I feel so bad reading this. I did the working mom thing for only 20 mos, but boy was I frazzled! Constantly go go go with nothing to show for it frequently.

If it makes you feel any better, my DD has show and tell EVERY Friday and I forget to send her in with something...oh, about 2 out of 4 weeks!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Just know you are not alone! Being a FTWM really is the hardest thing I have ever done. I have always been pretty career driven but as mentioned since having my DD I have started wishing I could be a SAHM! I NEVER thought I would say that. Or as previously posted have a 6-8 hour job/3 days a week with a salary close to what what I make now! A girl can dream!

I have been back at work for 3 months and it has not gotten better and I have not gotten used to it! I feel like I have no idea what is going on and that everything is done at 50% mode. I hope you get a one day a week from home! I recently asked for Fridays from home and it was approved but I am in the office today!!! because there were some things I needed to take care of (meetings, calls etc).

I guess I didn't offer any advice just wanted you to know you are not alone!!!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Same here.

I forgot things all the time, our school does the same thing with signing up, it's only on the classroom door and I NEVER see it because I work 5 days a week and don't do pick up or drop offs. DH tries to remember and notice these things but he only brings DS to school one day a week.

If they sent stuff home I'd see it but they don't seem to care

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

You are not a crappy mom. It is hard doing it all

I only have one and it is manageable but it is definitely a lot of work!! More than I imagined it would be.

Does your DH help out at all? I know if DH wasn't so wonderful I would be drowning. I get you about weekends too...they are crazy. Do you have enough time off that you can just schedule a day off here or there to catch up and relax?

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

OMG, I have only been back to work for a week today and I could have written your post word for word.

Today was pajama day and a bake sale at DS' daycare. I only know bc called me this morning after drop-off to tell me.

He is out of the house at 7:15. I get home 6:30, and same as you, between dinner, bath and bedtime, it is 9PM before DH and I can even start thinking about dinner for ourselves.

I'm really trying to figure this out.

so, I know exactly how you feel.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

oh yes. it sure does.

I am having an equally crappy mom feeling today for working, albeit for different reasons.

many many for you.

we are all doing the best we can.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Posted by Tine73

I would definitely speak to the teacher and ask for a calendar so you don't miss out on things or forget anything that you want to participate in. I think that would help a lot and it will make it seem like you want to be really involved so they should like that.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I feel your pain - working and being a mom blows. I only work part-time and feel like I'm failing at work and failing at home because I just don't have the time or energy to get anything accomplished or keep up on life (do I even have a life anymore??). I can't even begin to imagine how you survive working full-time. Just know - you're definitely not alone!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Before I got to that part in your post, I was going to ask if you're back to full time.

This is my first full week since my deal after Colin.
I asked to do 90% pay and every other Friday out - maybe you can try that??

I drop the kids at 8:30 and get home, if I'm lucky by 7PM. Lucky that DH gets dinner on the table - we eat, play for like 12 seconds and then I start putting them to bed.

It bites. Don't beat yourself up over show and tell - these things happen.

Hope to see you soon. I can't wait for better weather - totally organizing a GTG at home for us!

ETS: If it makes you feel better, I'm so out of the loop on working Fridays that this morning I couldn't remember my password and got locked out of the system. They couldn't fix it til 12PM and I had a 10:30AM conference call - throughout which I could be quoted several times saying, "if I could get into my computer I could tell you..." How professional.

Message edited 1/7/2011 3:22:16 PM.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I want to join the party

I have been coming home to DS to see him for only an hour before he's asleep for the night.

I leave before he gets up in the AM!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

I know how you feel. I was fortunate to stay home with DS for 2.5 years, but the last 6 months he's been in daycare, and I feel like I'm missing so much with him. And that would annoy me about the school. I would say something to the teacher, see if it's possible to send home notices or an e-mail, I'm sure a lot of working parents miss out.

My job is a great one--I organize, conduct, and hire people to do programs for young children. I often love it, but I have the hardest time with the groups who are close to DSs age--just makes me sad that I'm doing this for other people's children, but my child can never come to these programs. That said, I know he's having a blast in daycare, but I miss him a lot when I'm with the little ones.

Our house is a mess, but I tell myself it won't always be this way, and I'd rather spend time with DS when I can then clean. Still, it's annoying.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

yes, it really does. I'm having one of those evenings myself. I am stressed at work and came home feeling sick. I just felt like I didn't have the energy or patience to deal with DS. Thank GOD my DH was home so that he gave DS the attention he needed. Then I cried because I felt like such a crappy mom. I just know that when I am on vacation (I'm a teacher so that's a lot) I don't have these feelings of stress. I hate thinking that I bring that home to him sometimes. I wish, wish, wish I could stay home but it's not an option. Not to mention I think that in reality it would drive me crazy. I guess I really wish that I could work, but not feel any stress. Like that would ever happen! Even though I wish we didn't all have to feel like this, it makes me feel like I'm not alone!

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

Would your place approve a job share? This is what I was hired for in June. The full time girl had a baby and couldnt stand five days a week anymore. They tired cutting it to four days but she wound up cramming five days work into four, finally then settled upon three days and hired someone (me) to work the other two. We leave memos for each other and are always available via cell. It might not work for some people but since we're both new moms we MAKE it work. Even though we are sharing a full time job, we are considered p/t workers and dont qualify for benefits or holiday pay.

Re: Being a working mom stinks sometimes

You're not alone! I am ready to hire a housekeeper and a personal chef because NOTHING gets done around here. I couldn't tell you the last time I cooked other than on Christmas Eve because I had to. It's take out EVERY NIGHT around here. There's only so much Taco Bell or Wendys a person can eat!

I leave every morning before DS gets up, and spend a couple of hours with him in the evening before bed - but it's more like I'm feeing, bathing, and doing the whole BT routine. There's no quality time....