BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... UPDATED in original post

UPDATE:

Saw the LC today, who said that DS is doing GREAT!

first of all, he gained almost 4 ounces in the last 3 days - good old 3 week growth spurt! which explains why he's nursing really frequently and then falling asleep.

she said not to worry about it at all, and not to bother waking him up for feedings - he will let us know when he's hungry.

i'm SO relieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DS is 3 weeks old and is a small baby. i have been exclusively breastfeeding him.

we do 8-9 feedings a day, and for 2-3 of them i CANNOT, for the life of me, get him to stay awake.

i've tried every trick in the book - rubbing his head, tickling/scratching/flicking his feet, moving his arms, cold washcloth on the forehead, etc. he will NOT wake up!

the only trick that SOMETIMES works is the rapid switching from one breast to the other - somehow keeps him active. but when i use this i am concerned that he gets too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk.

here's the kicker - DS takes the bottle like a champ. he gulps down expressed breast milk like it's his job.

went to the ped today for a different issue, and turns out baby gained only 8.5 ounces in the last 10 days. doc says this is "okay, not bad at all", but is concerned that his caloric intake might not be good enough. he wants me to see the LC on monday, which i will.

if you were me, what would you do about this? right now i am giving him more and more bottles of EBM to ensure that he is getting enough. but i'm afraid that i won't be able to keep up my supply if i almost exclusively pump.

advice, PLEASE!!! TIA.

ETA: i should say that his latch is great, and when he is awake during nursing, he nurses really well. it's just that he finds the breast so comforting that he is out like a light 3 minutes into the feeding!

Message edited 11/5/2007 2:22:46 PM.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

I'd do just what you're going to do, see an LC. They are great. Work with the LC, they will make sure you are on the right path and have all kinds of answers.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

It sounds like you are doing all of the right things.

i would see the LC and see if she has any other advice.

If not, I would just keep at what you are doing. The combo nursing and pumping will keep up your supply.

He won't be as sleepy in a few more weeks- for your peace of mind, you can take him to be weighed once a week.

If he ever isn't doing great, you can immediately start to give him more bottles over the breast.

It sounds like it will be just fine.

ETA: I just wanted to say that my DS didn't latch until 6 weeks- I pumped until then- then I gradually switched him to EBF except for one or two bottles at night- I pumped once at night.

It takes time- he is so little now- still so sleepy! It will work out!

Message edited 11/2/2007 3:42:34 PM.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

i had to go to a lactation consultant in the beginning too (for a different reason). she taught me how to make the babies have a more effective nursing session by doing breast compressions. it wakes them up and helps them to eat more. i'm sure she'll teach you some good tips.

the bottle is much easier for them, so be aware that your ds may prefer the bottle if he gets too use to it in the beginning. so although you want to make sure he is eating enough and bottles give a clear picture, i would caution against using the bottle so much.

just keep doing what you're doing and continue to nurse on demand. you might feel like you are nursing all the time, but it will help you and baby really establish great bfing. you may just have to "set up shop" on the couch and nurse all day long, but it will be worth it in the long run. have dh or another helpful person bring you food, plenty of fluids and change the baby. just rest and nurse and bond with the baby as much as possible. view this as your number one job right now.

good luck and keep up the good work!!!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

Posted by halisa

i had to go to a lactation consultant in the beginning too (for a different reason). she taught me how to make the babies have a more effective nursing session by doing breast compressions. it wakes them up and helps them to eat more. i'm sure she'll teach you some good tips.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

DS was a sleepy baby. I tried EVERY trick. He would eat for 10 minutes top. 15 if I was lucky and that was with both breasts.

Finally, I "gave up" and started pumping at 4.5 weeks. Otherwise, he was BFing for 10 minutes every hour. He does not sleep on the bottle. He never did.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

My experience is similar to smdl's. DD is a super sleepy baby, just now she is becoming more alert and drinking more. The LCs told me this was because she was early. Nothing worked for us either. We still struggle so she feeds constantly because she can't stay awake long enough....You are doing everything right. Your DS takes the bottle so well because it's so much easier than the breast. Definitely see what your LC has to say. Good luck!!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

It's SO hard in the first few weeks!! I agree with the PP who said soon DC will be more alert for feedings.

Be aware also that nursing directly at the breast is way more effective than what you get when pumping. For example, lets say it takes you 15 minutes to empty your breast when pumping. Depending on how efficient your little one is it might take your DC only 5 or 6 minutes to drain the breast.

My daughter was (and still is) a VERY fast nurser. I was SO worried in the beginning because she would only nurse 5 minutes TOPS, and on only one side per feeding. I would read on here about how everyone's baby would nurse 20 minutes per breast, per feeding and I would think, "uh-oh".

She still only nurses for about 10 minutes at a time.

If there are enough poops and wet diapers then DC is getting enough.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

I would do what the doc says, BUT I see absolutely nothing to be worried about. A gain of at least a half an oz a day is acceptable for a nursed baby, and if your baby is alert, happy and sleeping well, what's the problem? Your son may have just had a bowel movement, or not eaten in a while, or had a smaller meal before the weigh-in. Besides that, maybe he hasn't had a growth spurt in a while and is due for one.

OK this annoys me because my doc got me all paranoid about my daughter because supposedly she only gained 4 oz in 12 days. I nearly lost my confidence in my bm but luckily I have lots of support. I called la leche and a lac consultant and both thought the scale was probably off. Still I made subtle changes and tried to add a few feedings. My daughter refused to eat anymore often. My daughter is gaining fine, a suspect an inaccurate scale as the culprit.

I will fm you with a few suggestions given to me.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

8.5 ounces in 10 days sounds about right. Around the same time (3weeks pp) I posted about this exact problem with DS. (And with him being a gigantic baby I felt like he was feeding all the time, but falling asleep for most of them.) I felt like he wasn't getting enough, but he was gaining about the same as your baby. So, if my brontosaurus was gaining the same as your little one, it sounds right to me. (But I'm not a doctor)

I'd wait to hear what the LC says. Good for you to allow one to help you. Many BF moms are too proud to ask for help!

Good luck!!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

bfing can be such a stress, i swear! bc it is totally YOU that is feeding the baby......

that being said, i am totally a hands off type of person....when DD ate, she ate, and when she slept, she slept. i never woke her, never tried to keep her awake while she ate....my thought is- she will eat when she was hungry....and THAT being said, i dont even think you should do bottles....i think your DC is doing fine, esp since the latch is great. you obviously have enough milk...i wouldnt worry about it. when u go to give him the bottle, just give him breast.....drs can be crazy, i hate them sometimes.... dont stress out about bfing- u are only making yourself crazying with it and pumping and feeding and pumping....just feed, and pump for the occasional bottle if u want a break and let DH do the feeding....

good luck!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

just want to thank everyone who responded. we had a great day yesterday, i *almost* thought the the sleepiness had resolved!! but today it's back

anyway, thanks for the suggestions and also for the reality check - as sleepy as he is, ds is pooping and peeing like a champ, and he IS gaining weight. so i am trying to stress a little less.

to all of you!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

I would see the LC and you could also try breast compressions . (Short post because I have to run.)

GL and keep us posted

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

I was so worried I was not giving enough BM to my son since he was eating for only 10-15 minutes top.

But when I had the ped visits, DS has been on the top of th percentile in both heigth and weight. I no longer worry.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... (LONG, but PLEASE read)

the LC told me that mine fed better with the bottle in the beginning since its no where near as warm and cozy as nursing, so bottle feeding kept him awake.

Message edited 11/4/2007 10:29:01 AM.

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... UPDATED in original post

bump for update. thanks to everyone again for your help!!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... UPDATED in original post

sounds like you and baby are doing great and that your lactation consultant is excellent. I wish mine was just as encouraging. I found her to be alarmist and made me question if he was getting enough. Well he was, but I was so stressed that I ended up supplimenting more and more often until I decided it wasn't worth the stress and put him on formula exclusively right before his first doctor's visit. Meanwhile he gained over 3 lbs in his first month from the BM. And although I am OK with him getting formula, I wish I would have waited it out a bit more until we past the breastfeeding 'hump' at 5-6 weeks when they really start to 'get' it and it gets easier.

hang in there, you are doing great

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... UPDATED in original post

Glad to hear the update!!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... UPDATED in original post

Posted by alexlynn7

UPDATE:

Saw the LC today, who said that DS is doing GREAT!

first of all, he gained almost 4 ounces in the last 3 days - good old 3 week growth spurt! which explains why he's nursing really frequently and then falling asleep.

she said not to worry about it at all, and not to bother waking him up for feedings - he will let us know when he's hungry.

i'm SO relieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: BF moms, so frustrated, need advice please... UPDATED in original post

Great update