Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

we have daughter and with number two obvisously dh and i just want a healthy baby but being a man he wants a SON. I dont care eitherr way.

I made one comment today and he goes NUTS.

I said that with boys there is much higher rates of things lke autism. He is like whats the point in telling me this? Are you tryign to change my mind to watnt a girl? I mean going off!

I said NO i am telling you this just as a fact.Also not sure if this is proven like the autism rates are but of the boys and girls i know the boys have much more problems with speech( agian not a fact as far as i know just obseravation).He thinks i am jinking it i guess ro whatver or tryign to persuade him to want a girl .

He seriously is soo mad at me right now and i am soo mad at the things he said to me! I want tpo be petty and send him an email with the facts saying that MORE BOYS HAVE AUTISM but i know it would just cause more problems! Why do they have to be soo stupid.

I just wnat a healthy bay doenst he realize that i dont care what it is i just wnat ahealthy child. He acts like i am goign to be upset now if its a boy

Message edited 10/28/2007 7:06:04 PM.

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

You know what, I was thrilled when I found out I was having a girl for that reason. A boy would have been great too, but the autism thing was always in the back of my mind since I know it's more prevelant in boys.

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

thanks. Dh made me feell like poop just now. He was screaming WHAT'S THE POINT IN TELLLING ME THIS!
Then when i said just to tell you the fact he went off on me.

I know its just that he is scared as i am to have child with problems but it just seems lke no matter where i turn some chld i know is being born, bioy or girl with problesm, They range form blindness, cystic fibrosis, autism, speech problesm .etc etc...

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

Every child is a blessing.

I wouldn't worry about something that right now is only a possibility. I had a high risk pregnancy and my doc went through a lot of possible variables with me. I remained as calm and as positive as I could and had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

There are so many "what if's" in life that if we really thought long and hard about them, many of us would be too scared to get out of bed in the morning.

There are so many life events that we have no control over in raising children... they will get hurt... physically, emotionally... but right now, as far as you know, your child has no challenges.

I have to agree with your DH, take a breath, try to relax and don't worry about something, that for at least right now, doesn't exist.

Message edited 10/28/2007 8:46:37 PM.

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

God knows what he is doing. Leave it at that!

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

Both genders have their pros and cons. There are a lot of things that girls get that boys don't. There's no "better" gender, and playing the odds won't help. If you have a girl with autism, it won't matter if the stats say that only 1 in 100, or in 10,000,000 girls get it.

As long as he wont have resentment towards another girl if that's what you wind up having, I don't see any problem with him wanting a boy.

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

my problemw as not with him wanting a boy. And i knwo that you can have problems with girls too .All i was doing was stating facts that there are higher risks for certain things for boys and HE FLIPPED. i know most guys want a boy especially if they already have a girl my thing is why did he have to go off like he did.

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

Thanks I am going to give it a few days to cool off andthen bring it up to him. My initial thought wastoemail him tons of websites proving iw as right about teh stats but then i thought no that is just being pety and would only cause a bigger fight!.

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

I think he's nervous about having another (of any gender). Additional time, money, stress, etc. It's sad that he took it out on you like that, though. It seems like he's just getting overwhelmed with what's going on, and he's on a hair trigger. Until he learns to deal with this, he'll probably flip over a lot of comments and discussions that he normally wouldn't have. Can you talk with him about what he's feeling? Maybe if he can get it out, it will help both of you figure out what's going on.

Re: Please read, need advice, opinions etc...

I think at this point you are going to have whatever you have and there is no sense in worrying about whether it is a boy or girl.

I'm not sure I would send him any information to prove your point-it would only needlessly worry him and probably inflate the problem.