BFing Moms of two

How do you give what you feel like is enough attention to DC #1?

My son nurses a lot and every time I think I'll be able to do bedtime or bath the timing just isn't right. I feel bad, especially because a lot of things during the day are a power struggle with her and I feel like I'm losing my cool more than I like and night time comes and I feel like she might think I'm neglecting her. Uggh, a lot of mother's guilt going on right now, a lot.

Re: BFing Moms of two

Sometimes the baby has to wait. Or has to eat in an inconvenient place. I would nurse her while my older DD was in the bathtub, or let daddy hold DD#2 while I did bedtime with DD#1 if I thought big sister needed some mommy time. Just make sure that the older child doesn't always come second -- she is the one who will remember. I started pumping early so that I could focus on the older child without interuption sometimes.

Re: BFing Moms of two

For the first couple of months, my ds nursed a lot and for long periods of time.

During the day, she would sit on the side of my lap that was open and we would read, color or play a game. She also would "help" me with feeding. If she had to eat while I was nursing - I nursed at the dinner table or I nursed while giving a bath. It was hard in the beginning but as ds, the baby, became a more efficient eater, the easier it became.

I don't know if you are open to this but I would get up after the baby went back to sleep after the second night feeding and I would take that time to pump. This allowed me to have some breastmilk available to feed ds if nursing wasn't going to work out.

When the baby would nap - that time was ALL ABOUT HER and what she wanted to do. I think that helped her with the transition from one to two.

Re: BFing Moms of two

Thanks for the advice. My only problem is that I have super low supply so I don't get to pump any extra and if it's feeding time I don't want to use formula and hurt my supply. I think that's the hard part.
I really need to do a better job of getting some time with DD though where she doesn't feel like she's coming second. We're 7 weeks in and I feel like I am scarring her for life...LOL. I'm going to try to at least alternate bedtime with DH and work on taking some mommy time out's before I lose my cool with her for not listening.

Re: BFing Moms of two

I had a really low supply too. I used to feed from one breast for the 4:30 feeding and then pump at 5:30. I would get anywhere from 1-3 oz on a bad day and sometimes I would get 5 oz. I would also pump whenever I could. It's really hard but it helped.

It does get easier...I promise.

Re: BFing Moms of two

When it comes to routine like bath or bedtime, Madelyn (#1) comes first. I've had to let Eliza cry in her swing while I take care of her big sister.

My PED reassured me that Eliza won't remember being *neglected*, but that Maddie is keenly aware when she's being brushed aside, so her needs generally come first right now.

I am lucky though- Maddie is pretty good about playing by herself so I am able tonurse while she plays. Many times I'll sit on thre floor and nurse and interact with her by tlalking to her while she plays. I also let her "help" take care of Eliza during diaper changes and stuf.

Wanted to add- I had the same concerns about *scarring* Madelyn. My PED laughed and said, "Amy, you havent scarred her, you've COMPLETED her." That made me feel better.

Re: BFing Moms of two

I nurse EVERYWHERE in the house...at the dinner table, in the LR, in bed with the other 2 around. When she sleeps, I play with them. There are times when baby is crying because she's alone while I'm putting the other 2 down for naps or bedtime (Aly has this horrid thing with only wanting me to put her to bed, luckily Paul will go to bed for DH).

There are times when A & P want me, but I'm nursing...so they'll hang out on the couch next to me or there are times when they whine.

What are ya gonna do? IT'll get better as Hudson gets older.....now Ella will hang out in the bouncy watching me be silly with the other two!