| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 |
WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
As long as she is getting breast milk, what difference does it make how she gets it!
Kudos to you for trying so hard and continues to express even though BF directly didn't work out. Don't they understand how hard you try to make sure your daughter gets BM one way or another??
|
Posted 6/30/07 11:02 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Thanks everyone. You won't believe how things went down tonight after I first wrote...
After DH called MIL to have her intervene my FIL called DH and said something like, "I will say what I want and I don't want any sh*t about it" and then hung up on DH. A few minutes passed and then FIL called again and DH and him spoke for an hour on the phone while I eavesdropped. FIL is the most stubborn man alive and the conversation was ended by him saying that the first thing he is asking me tomorrow is "how is nursing going?" He feels that I should feel comfortable enough with him to call him and he was more upset about the fact that DH called him instead of me...so basically after all of this he wants to hear it AGAIN out of my mouth the minute he sees me tomorrow.
I am so TIRED of this!!! What is the point? He has completely made this into a huge issue. I gave him a beautiful granddaughter which is what he wanted and now we're all spending our time talking and thinking about this stupid issue.
I am so emotional right now. I just cried and cried talking to DH about this and I am so worried that the minute this is brought up tomorrow that I am going to just start crying b/c it's really the only way I am handling all these emotions lately. I just hope I can keep it together and logically talk to this man tomorrow.
Message edited 6/30/2007 11:18:37 PM.
|
| Posted 6/30/07 11:16 PM |
| |
|
KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Maybe I am passive agressive, and maybe it would make things worse, but I would try to be out of the house tomorrow. There is plenty of time to deal with FIL's stupidity and it does NOT have to be when you are under new mommy stress.
|
| Posted 6/30/07 11:30 PM |
| |
|
CAT215
The Merlster
Member since 10/06 2540 total posts
Name:
Cathie
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Alicia
I don't have any children and I look in on this board every once on a while. I just cannot beleive what I have just read, how DARE you FIL speak to you in this way. You poor sweetheart, you should be concentrating on you and your DD right now. Does it really matter what vessel provides the breast milk? Whether it's one of your boobies or a bottle? You have a few different ways to handle this and ultimately it will be whatever you & DH decide on. I would be inclined to walk up to him when you arrive and just tell him that you have just given him a beautiful granddaughter that you are bottle feeding breast milk because your nipples are too cracked and sore for her to latch onto, and then ask him if he would rather instead of you pumping (which I would tell him is still painful) would he rather you gave her formula? Either that or tell him to fu*k off and mind his own business.
You don't need this right now, take care of you & DD. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and sorry to barge onto this board! 
|
| Posted 6/30/07 11:37 PM |
| |
|
Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
To be honest, if it were me I would tell him to F*ck off and mind his own business. It's very odd that your FIL, who is a man, is so enraged by the whole breastfeeding situation.
|
| Posted 6/30/07 11:37 PM |
| |
|
nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
WHAT AN AZZHOLE!!!
What YOU do with YOUR BREASTS is NONE OF HIS GODDAMN BUSINESS!!!
The NERVE of some people!!! This sounds like something MY inlaws will do!!!
|
| Posted 6/30/07 11:50 PM |
| |
|
justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I am sorry but that is so out of control. I am sorry I would not go. I would say that I am not feeling well or make an excuse that dd is too young to be out at a bbq with a lot of people. I am sure that they will know it's a lie but you know what it's not worth upsetting yourself. You are still recovering from childbirth. Your hormones and emotions and exhaustion are all high right now and you do not need or deserve this crap. I am sorry, send your dh and have a relaxing day with you and your beautiful daughter at home.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 12:45 AM |
| |
|
yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Tell your husband to tell his parents to mind their own business. Its YOUR choice as parents and your choice is going to be the right choice.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 3:01 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
OK - heres where I would draw the line big time.
I would tell my FIL that MY breasts are not HIS business.
Then, he could ratle off all he wants.
The only thing I would say back to him would be, "This is not up for discussion." and "I'm not having this discussion with you." in my most calm voice.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 5:58 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by DMT
tell you father is law their your boobs are none of his business and that when he walks to walk around with a penis pump all day and night he can then have a say
what freaking nerve!
 
also - I would also tell him, "You seem to be awfully interested in my breasts... "
|
| Posted 7/1/07 5:59 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I gave him a beautiful granddaughter which is what he wanted and now we're all spending our time talking and thinking about this stupid issue.
No - the baby is what YOU wanted - it wasn't a gift for him - I know what you mean, but when you say somethign like this, I wonder if he has more power of you guys than you realize...
Its time to draw the line now. Right friggin NOW. Because today its about breastfeeding. Tomorrow it will be brand of diapers, baby food, how you discipline, college choice - on and on... for real. You may need to distance from ILs for a while, and make a date of when you bring Madison over - Saturday at 4, for example. When he asks about BFing, state cooly - this is not open for discussion, and would you like to hold her, or do you think we should go before this turns into an extensive discussion I don't want to have, or an argument? and leave it at that....
If he is really that open, you may want to be open back and say, "When you say these things, it makes me not want you involved in her life. since I DO want you involved, this topic will have to be limited for me and DH. I would love your input on _____ (choose an innocuous topic) but BFing is far too personal for us to have this discussion with you, and I do not like other people knowing about our personal life, so I'd appreciate you not discussing this with anyone else. If it continues, I am going to have to limit my visits with you until you are ready to respect my decisions as a mother."
ETA - Cailen has been on Similac from the day he was born. He had a little cold last week, but thats not bad for a 12 week old who has spent almost a month at daycare - and DH got him sick! He is healthy, alert, intelligent, and perfect. Breast milk is fine for some people, but formula is also excellent!!!
Message edited 7/1/2007 6:12:20 AM.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 6:09 AM |
| |
|
Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
That's unbelievable!
Considering the fact that he's never breastfed anyone - he CLEARLY has no idea how difficult it is to do!
Let him know that when he can breastfeed the child that he carried inside of him for 9 months and then gave birth to - THEN and only then can he give you his opinion! 
|
| Posted 7/1/07 7:31 AM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
UGH! If he is going to antagonize a new mom about breastfeeding, the guy doesn't know his boundaries.
If he makes you uncomfortable tomorrow, tell him if he continues maybe it's time for you to go. Why should you stay at a place where you're being made to feel uncomfortable about such a private issue?
What he doesn't get is that you are the mother of his granddaughter & as such have a say in where SHE goes. If my husband said something to my DIL & she left my house with my new granddaughter, he'd catch hell like never before.
Let the power shift begin! 
Many hugs to you! Good luck today!
|
| Posted 7/1/07 7:41 AM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
honestly, i would tell them to mind their own damn business...what nerve fil has
|
| Posted 7/1/07 7:41 AM |
| |
|
KangaMom
...
Member since 1/06 4593 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
OMG I am speechless  You are giving you child, his grandchild the best nutrition availlabe why on earth does he care if it come directly from YOUR breasts or put in a bottle 
|
| Posted 7/1/07 7:59 AM |
| |
|
Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Your inlaws are way out of line!!! This is your child and you do what you feel is best. No one has the right to tell you otherwise Hugs to you
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:00 AM |
| |
|
Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by Palebride
Let him know that when he can breastfeed the child that he carried inside of him for 9 months and then gave birth to - THEN and only then can he give you his opinion!
This is exactly the 1st thing that came into my mind when I read your 1st post. I'm so sorry he's putting you through this completely unneccesary stress. As if having a newbown isn't hard enough
Posted by nrthshgrl
UGH! If he is going to antagonize a new mom about breastfeeding, the guy doesn't know his boundaries.
If he makes you uncomfortable tomorrow, tell him if he continues maybe it's time for you to go. Why should you stay at a place where you're being made to feel uncomfortable about such a private issue?
What he doesn't get is that you are the mother of his granddaughter & as such have a say in where SHE goes. If my husband said something to my DIL & she left my house with my new granddaughter, he'd catch hell like never before.
Let the power shift begin!
Many hugs to you! Good luck today!
ITA with Barb here. Let him know that this conversation is not up for discussion and if he can't respect you, you'll be leaving. Again,
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:03 AM |
| |
|
Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Your ILs have some nerve criticizing your decision! Kuddos to you for still pumping!!! There are many women who hate to pump so they would have immediately switched to formula (I'm not judging them, I'm just saying). You are certainly giving your baby the best that you've got.
ILs should definitely be put in their place about your personal decision. AS you said, why add the stress to both you and DC unnecessarily. If pumping is working for you....keep it up, Momma!!!
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:05 AM |
| |
|
MommaG
Yay Spring!
Member since 5/05 5133 total posts
Name:
Gloria
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I would wait for him to bring up the topic (which I'm sure he will) and when he says "how's the nursing going?' just tell him the truth - you and your DH are doing what's best for your DD. You do not owe him an explanation about the choices you make for your daughter. I don't know if he's the type of person to get loud around a lot of people (it's a bbq, right?) but I can imagine what everyone else would think. He might restrain himself for that reason.
Have you or DH spoken with your MIL? Has she spoken with your FIL? I'm also wondering why he feels so strongly about this - was your DH breastfed? Or maybe he was sick a lot and on formula and that's why your FIL thinks it's so important? Maybe if he tries to press the issue just ask him why he is so pro-BF - why it's so important to him. If he mentions the nutrition benefits, just let him know DD is getting that. If it's something else, just address the issue with why you DD is getting that from BM in a bottle. Maybe it will make him back down when he realizes you are doing what's best for everyone.
If that doesn't work, hand him DD and tell him to go nurse her. 
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:09 AM |
| |
|
Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
My advice is tell your FIL where to shove it.....nothing ever latched onto his breast so until he knows what its like tell him to **** off!
Sorry you have to deal with this...I think just after having a baby, especially,no one should mess with a Mommy
ETA: Just read your update with the phone call and if that is the first thing out of his mouth when he sees you I would turn around and leave...he will learn if he wants to see his granddaughter he has to respect her mother
Message edited 7/1/2007 8:30:14 AM.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:22 AM |
| |
|
ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wow. I'm utterly speechliess that your inlaws or anyone in your family thinks they have the right to comment on wheter of not you are breastfeeding. That is disgraceful! They are so out of line and beyond their boundaries that it is ridiculous!
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Erase FIL comments from your mind and limit your access to him unless they can support your decisions about how you will raise your baby.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to choosing how you will feed your baby. What works for one may not be best for another.
You are doing a great job!! Its a shame that your inlaws have no respect for that.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:29 AM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by Moehick
ETA: Just read your update with the phone call and if that is the first thing out of his mouth when he sees you I would turn around and leave...he will learn if he wants to see his granddaughter he has to respect her mother
I agree 100%, hopefully , he will get the hint
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:34 AM |
| |
|
jgm26
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/06 583 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Your FIL is waaaaaaay out of line and owes youa tremendous apology. Your DH needs to tell him forcefully that he needs to STFU, stat.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:36 AM |
| |
|
Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I cant believe they are down your throat about this issue, what business is it to them??
I actually got looks from everyone because I wanted to breastfeed and they all thought I was CRAZY with twins, and I told them they are MY boys and will do what I want.
Im sorry, just tell them to mind their won business
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:38 AM |
| |
|
SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
|
Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by stephanief
Posted by Moehick
ETA: Just read your update with the phone call and if that is the first thing out of his mouth when he sees you I would turn around and leave...he will learn if he wants to see his granddaughter he has to respect her mother
I agree 100%, hopefully , he will get the hint
I agree too. If, after you tell him you don't want to discuss it, he continues to badger you, I would leave. Maybe he'll understand that he needs to be nice to you if he wants to see his granddaughter. He sounds like a real jerk. I'm so sorry you have to deal with his baloney!! You sound like you're being a great mom.
|
| Posted 7/1/07 8:43 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 |
