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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by greeneyes361708
Why do they care, she's still getting breastmilk! Tell them to mind their own business.
EXACTLY!! How dare he say anything!
I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this unnecessary crap! Someone needs to put him in his place NOW or he will be giving his advice about everything down the line.
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Posted 7/1/07 9:01 AM  |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I dont get it why they are giving you a hard time. Your baby is still getting BM.
I almost exclusively pump, even when I'm not at work. My let-down is very forceful and it makes it a lot more stressful trying to BF.
Good for you for doing what works best. Lots of people would just give up and not even pump. Ignore what anyone else has to say! 
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:07 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by Jamie
I am sorry but that is so out of control. I am sorry I would not go. I would say that I am not feeling well or make an excuse that dd is too young to be out at a bbq with a lot of people. I am sure that they will know it's a lie but you know what it's not worth upsetting yourself. You are still recovering from childbirth. Your hormones and emotions and exhaustion are all high right now and you do not need or deserve this crap. I am sorry, send your dh and have a relaxing day with you and your beautiful daughter at home.
ITA! If he wants to be an A$$hole you do not want to subject yourself and your DD to him. Seriously, I would say that you just were not feeling up to it and that you, your boobs, and your DD will not be attending.
OR
Just flat out have your DH say to him, since you will say what ever you want, so will I. We are all not coming because of how you are treating my wife. AND if he keeps up this behavior, he will not see his DD anytime soon.
I would have my DH stand up to his father. How would his father feel if someone treated HIS wife like this? My guess is he would fly off the handle.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
Message edited 7/1/2007 9:12:46 AM.
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:07 AM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Oh, I also wanted to add that you should tell your fil until he starts lactating that he should mind his own business. He does not know the first thing about how difficult BF'ing can be.
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:08 AM |
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pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice
Member since 5/05 9612 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
What an AZZ!!! I give you so much credit for being able to deal with him even the first time. I wouldnt even go to the stupid barbecque if you know he plans on harrassing you about it further.
I would also squeeze and twist and mutilate HIS nipples and ask him how it feels.
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:12 AM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by pinky
I would also squeeze and twist and mutilate HIS nipples and ask him how it feels.
Now that's a great suggestion! I totally agree....sometimes men don't have a clue!
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:36 AM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I would have just told him to shut the
h-e--l-l up and shove it up his A$$!
How dare he lecture you about your breasts and further more about how you decide to feed your DD... whatever method it may be. 
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:43 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I just want to give you some hugs.
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:46 AM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Thanks so much everyone. I am feeling so unmotivated to go over there today. It's just a BBQ with immediate family...at least my Mom will be with me for added support in case I need to leave suddenly. It's just so weird b/c my ILs and I have had such a great relationship up until now. DH is being pretty good about this whole thing and I don't want to keep DD away from them YET but if there is a big scene today I will definitely put a limitation on when they can see her again...I need respect right now and I feel like I am being trampled all over during what is probably the most sensitive time in my entire life!
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| Posted 7/1/07 9:52 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Maybe you can borrow Jamie's MIL and she can crap on their floor so they have something else to talk about. Or ask him if he is satisfied in his sex life or if he needs to spank it once and awhile.
What a azzhole!!!
I hope you don't have to deal with him. Would your Mom say something to him. My Mom would go off if this happened to me.
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:04 AM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by Stacey1403
Maybe you can borrow Jamie's MIL and she can crap on their floor so they have something else to talk about. Or ask him if he is satisfied in his sex life or if he needs to spank it once and awhile.
What a azzhole!!!
I hope you don't have to deal with him. Would your Mom say something to him. My Mom would go off if this happened to me.
Anyone can feel free to bother her WHENEVER!!
Alicia, I hope your day goes better
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:20 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I thought of another reply...Tell him you working hard on ONLY BF no bottles at all, so that when you have had enough and decide never to go over there again neither can their granddaughter as she will only take the breast
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:24 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Oh my goodness, how DARE someone else tell you what to do with your body? That is very upsetting to me. What is wrong with people? If that were me, I'd be staying home today
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:27 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by CAT215
Alicia
I don't have any children and I look in on this board every once on a while. I just cannot beleive what I have just read, how DARE you FIL speak to you in this way. You poor sweetheart, you should be concentrating on you and your DD right now. Does it really matter what vessel provides the breast milk? Whether it's one of your boobies or a bottle? You have a few different ways to handle this and ultimately it will be whatever you & DH decide on. I would be inclined to walk up to him when you arrive and just tell him that you have just given him a beautiful granddaughter that you are bottle feeding breast milk because your nipples are too cracked and sore for her to latch onto, and then ask him if he would rather instead of you pumping (which I would tell him is still painful) would he rather you gave her formula? Either that or tell him to fu*k off and mind his own business.
You don't need this right now, take care of you & DD. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and sorry to barge onto this board!
I agree - I don't have children either but am appalled for you. What a jerk - your breasts are none of his business. You are doing what you think is best for you and your child - end of story.
I hope your DH pulls him aside and tells him to back off. Isn't wonderful how a man can comment on how to breastfeed - when's the last time he tried this 
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:35 AM |
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evindi
LIF Zygote
Member since 11/06 39 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Tell your dear father in law that when HIS breasts are capable of expressing breastmilk, he can take over feeding your child; until then he needs to stop trying to control your choice as the child's mother.
As long as you're feeding your child breastmilk, there is NO difference in the format in which you choose to deliver it. Puhleese! 
IMHO your DH needs to take his Daddy aside and tell him to back off if his comments to his mother are not adhered to. But kudos to your DH for not sticking his head in the sand.
Many
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:39 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Why is your breastfeeding a topic of discussion???? Especially by your FIL?
Your baby is still getting YOUR milk however you give it to her. Whats the difference if its on tap or bottled
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:44 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
It blows my mind that a MAN thinks he knows what is best about breastfeeding To me, she is still breastfeeding, since she is getting breast milk.
I also agree with Barbara and Moe - if he starts with you, leave and tell him that until he treats you with some respect, he won't be seeing much of either of you.
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| Posted 7/1/07 10:52 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Alicia, I am sorry you have to deal with this as you make the adjustments to motherhood. This should be a joyous time for you and you are doing your best.
While DH and I are not parents, but TTC, the subject of breast feeding has come up. He and his siblings were breastfed which in the 70s was pretty rare. My siblings and I were not. There is a strong possibility that it will be suggested to me to breastfeed and I asked him to "nip it in the bud" immediately. This is not a topic up for discussion or contemplation by anyone other than DH and myself. I anticipate the conversation with family and friends and I am already armed with witty retorts when the time comes.
I hope it gets easier for you.
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:07 AM |
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Aga
hello baby Albert
Member since 9/05 7750 total posts
Name:
Aga
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by pinky
I would also squeeze and twist and mutilate HIS nipples and ask him how it feels.
omg, that totally made my day
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:07 AM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by johnsae
Thanks everyone. You won't believe how things went down tonight after I first wrote...
After DH called MIL to have her intervene my FIL called DH and said something like, "I will say what I want and I don't want any sh*t about it" and then hung up on DH. A few minutes passed and then FIL called again and DH and him spoke for an hour on the phone while I eavesdropped. FIL is the most stubborn man alive and the conversation was ended by him saying that the first thing he is asking me tomorrow is "how is nursing going?" He feels that I should feel comfortable enough with him to call him and he was more upset about the fact that DH called him instead of me...so basically after all of this he wants to hear it AGAIN out of my mouth the minute he sees me tomorrow.
I am so TIRED of this!!! What is the point? He has completely made this into a huge issue. I gave him a beautiful granddaughter which is what he wanted and now we're all spending our time talking and thinking about this stupid issue.
I am so emotional right now. I just cried and cried talking to DH about this and I am so worried that the minute this is brought up tomorrow that I am going to just start crying b/c it's really the only way I am handling all these emotions lately. I just hope I can keep it together and logically talk to this man tomorrow.
O.K. He wants to hear it from you. When he opens his big mouth and wants to know "how the nursing is going" tell him "none of your f*&king business" and if he gets upset let him that YOU will say what YOU want and YOU don't give a sh!t what he thinks. I don't care how stubborn he is, this man needs to put in his place and pronto or you will have a very rough time ahead of you. Oh, how I wish I could be there.
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:11 AM |
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angelbear217
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 4313 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wow I am utterly speechless. What gives this man the right to lecture you about what you do with your body and how you choose to feed your child. He obviously doesn't know his boundaries and doesn't know how to treat a new mom. You really don't need to be dealing with this during this time.
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:16 AM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wow, It's so sad that they are giving you such a hard time.
I really don't understand why people feel it's OK to make their opinions known about such a personal decision. It's ridiculous that family and even strangers questions a mother's decision on BF.
Stand ground Alicia.... Set the tone for what you believe are their boundaries as grandparents.
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:31 AM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Geez - that's horrible!
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:33 AM |
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SpiceGirl
Dream big
Member since 1/06 2486 total posts
Name:
j
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Your FIL sees this is upsetting to you, yet he continues on and on. Stubborn? Yes. Insensitive to you feelings, definitely.
If the first question to you is, 'how's the nursing going?'...you really should just say, this is not a topic for public conversation. This is personal and I WILL NOT DISCUSS with you any further. If you insist, then I will have to leave. I know that will be hard on both you and DH, but you have to set the ground rules now about how much you are going to let him make decisions regarding your baby.
Message edited 7/1/2007 11:41:57 AM.
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:41 AM |
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photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I give you credit for even GOING today.
How dare people tell you to do with your own boob? Do people even realize how hard it is to even breastfeed?
Sorry to say, that is sooo rude of your FIL.
I would be pissssssssssed.
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| Posted 7/1/07 11:55 AM |
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