Breakdown

Frankie is about three and a half months old. I decided to be a stay at home mom. I thought I would love being a mommy and a stay at home at that. I can't imagine putting Frankie in a daycare. However, I am starting to get frustrated with everything that comes along with having a baby. I can't seem to get through a shower with out him waking up crying. He has already had a cold with weazing and an ear infection. Now just the other day he started sneezing and coughing again. What the hell am I doing that he is getting a cold twice in two months. I can't seem to get anything done. Just when I think he is sleeping and I go to do something he crys. I am starting to get jealous of my husband for going to work. Not the actual work, but the alone time driving to and from and the lunch breaks. And this Friday he is going to play poker with the boys and Sunday to a Ranger game. I breast feed for like a week and than went to Formula. Needless to say Frankie needs a little prune juice to help him poop and I feel that it is my fault because I stopped breast feeding cause I felt it was too over whelming. I just feel like to worst mommy in the world. I mean I love my son, but I hate not having time to myself. I just think it is one of those days crying and all. I am having a melt down and don't want to vent to my husband because than he gets all nervous that I feel this way sometimes. And to top it all off my mom who was over like 2-3 times a week just went to Florida for the winter and will not be back until June. Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry so Long.

Re: Breakdown

Don't feel like a bad Mommy. What you are feeling is totally normal, or at least, everybody has told me that.

My baby is 2 and a half months and I feel the same way sometimes. I don't have time for my things anymore. He doesn't like to sleep his naps other than in my arms... and although I love him and I love having him sleeping in my arms, that means that sometimes I don't even have time to eat during the day when I'm by myself. My sister told me that thing are going to get better so that's my hope.

Many for you and you know that you can vent here without problem.

Re: Breakdown

AW You are not alone. I felt like this a lot this Spring until I started getting out. I enrolled her in Mommy and me classes, got together with my friends and my roommate from the hospital. No one likes to be stuck in a house all day everyday.

You are not a bad Mommy. Every mommy needs alone time to be a good mommy. Make sure that you are getting it. Make plans with the girls and go out for a night, you deserve it. I do that with my friends often and I am planning the next one for the Saturday before Super Bowl and it looks like it might be 20 of us. It will be our time away from the kiddies.

Re: Breakdown

OK...take a deep breath and know you are not in the minority thinking this. I got jealous of my DH when I was on maternity leave because he got to go to the office every day! It's hard to be a SAHM, it is like a job with NO breaks...there is no office door to close and take a minute to compose yourself. And when they have a bad day, lordy, does it feel like it's never going to end.

You are not at fault for his constipation, but get used to feeling guilty. I put my daughter in daycare and I feel guilty. If I go out at night, guilt. But you can't let it rule your life. Take some time for yourself. Go out without DH or the baby...have him babysit. You deserve it, get a mani/pedi or just drive. You will be a better mommy for it.

Now, regarding everytime you need to do something he starts crying...at 3.5 months you can give a him a minute or two to CIO and see if he can self soothe himself, this is how they learn. Sometimes Bella will do this for a few minutes and then she is out for an hour. If you need a shower, take it...he'll be ok for a couple of minutes...

and lots and lots of

Re: Breakdown

Adjustment to being a SAHM can be a very difficult thing. You are changing your entire life...every part of it. There are women who just don't like it and decide to go back to work. None of it makes you a bad mother...doing what is best for you helps to make you a happy, positive mother.
You might want to try to met other SAHMs and get involved in activities. Maybe you can also volunteer one-two nights a week at a charity that means a lot you. SAHMs still need "me" time, still need non-baby time.

Re: Breakdown

I can totally relate to how your feeling, and your not a terrible mommy at all, just a new adjusting one..
I feel the same way at this point and my son is just over a month old..we moved to Florida 6 months ago and we have no family here. I am lucky to be able to be a SAHM but at the same time I feel like I am trapped..I kinda miss going to work and being around people, miss dressing up and putting makeup on...right now staring at the four walls all day is making me just miserable..I know everyone says it gets better and I'm sure it will but its such a HUGE life adjustment..especially if you were independent to begin with..
I'm sure once you start bringing him outside and are able to bring him places with you things will get much better

many many to you...
we are all in this together..

Re: Breakdown

Re: Breakdown

Your not a bad mommy at all, like others have said it is a huge adjustment. Not only having a baby but staying home as well. I am a SAHM as well. I had to call my bf this morning for moral support because I too felt like I was being a bad mother. I feel like sometimes I just can't deal and I need a break. Then I feel guilty because I think I don't teach him enough during the day. Its crazy, but I think we all get a little batty especially when they are newborns. Alex is 10 months old and I am still adjusting. We joined Gymboree and Music Together. It has been great to get out, allow him to interact with other kids. For me it is great to have an excuse to get dressed, get out of the house and have some social interaction. It does get better Once he gets a little older plan a night away with friends. I am going to Mohegan at the end of February for a night. I can't wait to sleep and let DH walk in my shoes for a day. He seems to think its so easy

Re: Breakdown

hang in there Maybe you could get someone to watch him for a few hours so you can do something for you?

You should tell your DH how you are feeling? I am sure he will understand, being a SAHM is a lot of work, it is hard to do everything.