Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

I know this has been asked 10000000 times on here before but I forgot what the general consensus was!

DD is having a birthday party next week - she will be 7 so most of the kids will be that age.

One of the moms sent me a message so ask if she should stay and if she can is it okay if she brings her 4 year old too?

I was going to respond that its up to her if she stays or not but to let me know if she will be bringing her other DD with her so I can let them know there will be an extra person for pizza etc...I guess I have to get an extra favor bag ready too right?

I know its not a big deal but I know her husband is home that day plus her parents live closeby...she is just bringing her because it would be fun!!

What say you guys?

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

No big deal. What's an extra slice of pizza?

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Personally, I'd rather her ask and let you know ahead than let you be surprised the day of. I wouldn't personally ask someone if I could bring extra people to a party, but it has happened to me before and it bugs me when I am surprised the day of and I don't have a goodie bag, etc.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

what type of birthday party? Will it only cost you the extra slice of pizza, or will you have to pay an additional fee for her to enter?

If it dosnt bother you, then go for it!

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Where is the party? It's your party so it is up to you whether you say yes or not but is understood at this age (you said 7)( my dd is 6 turning 7 this year) that partys are drop off and siblings are not invited unless you said so. If it is out somewhere and people bring siblings you would end up with double the number if children easily at $15 or more per child. If its at home then your call if you want Extra kids.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

What kind of a party is it?

I ask because if it's at a bounce/play type place, i'd never ask to bring my 4 year old to hang out with a bunch of 7 year olds because they are typically much bigger/faster/more confident and I would feel on edge the whole time that DS would get run over or something

If it's a tamer, lower key kind of party, then I would be fine with it - there may be something going on that you don't know about and I'd like to think she's only asking because she has to. I'd want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

It's obviously up to you, but if you don't want a younger kid there tell her that there's a limit to how many kids can come to the party so her other kid can't come.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Thanks for your replies - its a cosmic bowling party at a bowling alley..she is only bringing her so she can have fun - her words exactly - she said her husband is home but thought it would be fun for the 4 year old to go with the 7 year old. I kind of feel bad for the 7 year old as its like they are a package deal and she never gets to do anything by herself.

It's 6 kids per lane and I have 12 kids - so two lanes - if the 4 year old decides to bowl then I guess she will just have to share with her sister....

I have already sorted and packed 12 goody bags and don't have extra stuff - I thought I was organized and good to go and now I have to go out shopping again to make up another goody bag which I KNOW is not going to break the bank but its an inconvenience right now.

Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Me personally, if I'm having to pay for another head, I would ask her not to bring her. Big difference in 4 and 7 year olds, so I just don't think it's appropriate anyway, but that's just me!

Just read your follow up. I would tell her to keep the child home. Seriously? So her kid can have fun with her sister? Take them bowling together another day. People are annoying.

Message edited 1/27/2013 4:47:55 PM.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

I think its wrong, IF she has someone else who can watch that child. Or if the kids are being dropped off and you are okay with that, and she could then drop the child off.

Odds are you will have to pay forthat child. And why should she get to, IF she has someone else who could watch the child, when others have to leave their kids home or find a sitter?

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

I would say that you have the exact amount if kids per lane. Tell her she would have to talk with the front desk about getting a separate lane for her and her DD- on her dollar. hopefully that would discourage her since her DD wouldn't really be a part of the party.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

I personally would say ok, but I can see why you might be a little annoyed though. it's so hard with siblings, to tell one they can't go really stinks. the parties we have been to recently have been kind enough to invite my other child.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

IMO it's rude to even ask to bring another kid. I would keep my dc home if I did t have someone to watch the other one.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

If there was no one to watch her then yes. But for her to bring the 4 year old because she wants to have fun with her 7 year old sibling, then no.. It isn't a party for a 4 year old. Tell her she can come, but she can only watch and the parent is responsible for her food and what not.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Thanks everyone...I know I am probably being a little snarky but I am working all week...made a huge effort to get everything organized yesterday so I would not be rushing around friday night and then this hiccup happened. Plus I have two kids and have always left my DS at home when DD was invited to parties...i would never ask to bring my DS to any type of party unless he was invited.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Hmmm. Bit tougher of a scenario. If you are good friends with the mom, just let it be. Not worth the drama and the kids could share a lane space and a goody bag too! No hiccups.

If you just know her, tell her it's a big girl party. Let the mom drop off the kid.

BTW: sounds like a good party!

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

I wouldn't mind if she was in a bind and the alternative was that the 7 year old wouldn't be able to come. But if she thinks it would be fun for the 4 year old and 7 year old to bowl she should take them sometime-just not at someone else's party.


I see nothing wrong with her and her 4 year old getting a lane nearby. I don't know if I would ever comfortable dropping my 7 year old off at a bowling alley for a party so I could understand that.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Aren't 7 year old parties drop off parties?

I would tell the mom she does not need to stay and she can simply drop off her child.

I think elementary school parties (drop off) is very different from a preschool bday party where a parent is required to be present. If a parent is required to be present and the other parent (or it could be a single parent) is unavailable, circumstances are very different.

I do not think it is ok to bring an extra sibling just so the younger sibling could have a good time.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Her reasoning is absolutely ridiculous and I would say "sorry, the lanes are already assigned and everything has been bought and accounted for".

I can't believe she really had the nerve to say she wants the 4yo to have a good time (on your dime)! Ridiculous!

Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Definitely not ok. My sister just had a party last month for her DS and 5 people brought siblings without telling her. That was almost an extra $70 she had to pay and then had to scramble to make sure she had enough goody bags. Totally wrong. For DD's birthday I told two of my good friends that they were able to bring the sliblings if they had too so that was fine but if they did it without being offered I would have been annoyed regardless of how close we are.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

I would definitely tell her to go to the front desk and ask about a lane for her and her DD.
Since she does have someone to watch the younger DD, then, yes, it's rude of her to ask.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

It would annoy me! DD was just invited to a birthday party and I left DS with my mom. I would be embarrassed to ask if I could bring my oter DC. I think you should let her know that if she brings her, she might have to play in her own lane since you could only have 6 to a lane. That might discourage her.

Re: Bringing a sibling to birthday party.

Ugh, what is wrong with people? If she has a 7 year old she very likely has made a birthday party out somewhere where you pay per child.

I would tell her that you can only have a certain number of children per lane and are filled up with invited guests attending, and if she *needs* to bring her younger child they will have to rent their own lane.