Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

My mom says that she never heard of having a bris in any place other than the home. I say that brises (sp.??) in temples are very common. DH and I want to have it in the temple where we were married. My mom also says that she has never heard of a party for the naming of a girl.

Don't a lot of people have the bris at a temple? I already realize that it may be difficult for me to go out right after a C-section but I won't want people at my home at that point either.

Mom also says that very few people show up if the bris is during the week. I've been to several that were packed with people, many of whom took time off from work.

There is going to be a lot of bris drama around here.

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

A bris can take place anywhere, it doesn't have to be the home. It does have to happen on the 8th day of life, so it may be easier for some new mothers not to have to travel so early, but if it would be easier elsewhere, there's no reason not to. I know of one friend who had it in a synagogue.

As for the during the week issue- well, Jewish law says that the bris must take place on the 8th day of life- unless there is some medical reason to delay. If it is the summer months, it may be possible in late afternoon, before the sunsets, and to have people come after work.

People do different things for baby namings- we had our daughter named during the Shabbat services when she was 2 weeks old, and we hosted the kiddush after. My brother had his daughter named in an evening Torah service, after a huge party at his house, when his daughter was 4 months. Apparently, for my baby naming, my mother and I didn't even go to synagogue! My father was called for an aliyah, and my name was given. There aren't really strict rules for baby namings- there are many traditions.

Good luck!!!!

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

You can do a bris anywhere. I am having twins boys and having the same dilemma as you . I want to have it at the temple i belong to but it might be right when thye are having their rummage sale... There are not alot of temple by me so we might be having it in a resturant. the only thing is that i want it during the week because i live over an hour away from my parents and do not feel like have all 100 of my parents friends and the large extended family of Dh's hanging around because they feel it is a weekend so it is ok. I know it sounds slefish but I rather my mom have a party at her house and let her friends come and go as they please and this would be when the babies are older.

I did find some intresting things about boys born via c- section

http://www.callamohel.com/faq.htm
http://www.emohel.com/faq.htm

there are some good answers for you..

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

we are having the bris at our home but we are only having parents and siblings (all together like 15-20 people), b/c the baby is so young and to have a big party at a temple or restaurant when its only a week after he was born is not for me (i have a million reasons why: i will be breastfeeding, what if it was a rough birth and i am still uncomfortable, and i dont want a million people around him when he's so young), but i do know people who did it at a temple

also a baby naming can really be anytime (if we had a girl we were going to do it when she was around 4 months or so) and i have heard of it done at the temple or house too, most people follow it with a party (b/c the baby is a little older)

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

We are just having it at the house with minimum guests...fairly low key. My neighbor, who does catering, is planning all the food etc for it so I dont have to do anything...and my other neighbor is cleaning the house. All I have to do is tell them how many people (10-15) and thats it.

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

We are also having a boy. The bris will be at my parents house because everyone else lives on LI and we live in NJ so it will just be easier for everyone else. Also my parent's house is a lot bigger than our home is....With that said, I have heard of having the party at a temple or caterer. We were even invited to one at the Waldorf. However, the actual cutting part took place at home and not at the temple/hotel.

As for a party for a girl, it is called a baby naming ceremony. It is usually held about a month after the baby girl is born. The families hold that in the temple and can have a party afterwards where ever they want to. My parents did this for me 29 years ago.

Also, if this is your first child and it is a boy, there is another thing you can do, which is called a pidge and a ben (bad transliteration) which is when you take your son to the temple and "buy him back" i.e. make a donation. This is only done if the first child is a boy. HTH. L.

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

Posted by ssdbk

Posted by LSP2005

We are also having a boy. The bris will be at my parents house because everyone else lives on LI and we live in NJ so it will just be easier for everyone else. Also my parent's house is a lot bigger than our home is....With that said, I have heard of having the party at a temple or caterer. We were even invited to one at the Waldorf. However, the actual cutting part took place at home and not at the temple/hotel.

As for a party for a girl, it is called a baby naming ceremony. It is usually held about a month after the baby girl is born. The families hold that in the temple and can have a party afterwards where ever they want to. My parents did this for me 29 years ago.

Also, if this is your first child and it is a boy, there is another thing you can do, which is called a pidge and a ben (bad transliteration) which is when you take your son to the temple and "buy him back" i.e. make a donation. This is only done if the first child is a boy. HTH. L.

I cannot believe I am up at 2:20 AM, researching all things baby. I didn't realize that people would have the "cutting" at home and then have a get together elsewhere. I will definitely be telling my mom about the one at the Waldorf!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's called Pidyon Haben. I have never been to one but I remember my orthodox friend going to them, and my mom has been to them. Mom says that people used to call them "Piggies." Apparently, my baby will be ineligible. . I have always wanted to see one of these. There is a rule that prohibits this to be done with babies born by C-section and I have to have a C. Also, if the parents are of the Kohen or Levi tribes it is not considered necessary. My father is a Levi, so I think I might be one also (I was never clear on how that worked).

Maybe we will hear from LIFer Marnie, who happens to be a Cantor and she can tell us more.

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

I was born a Kohen and DH is an Israelite. I was told that a woman retains the tribe that she was born into but the child takes on what the father is. Different Rabbis say different things.

As far as the bris goes, I have been to bris' at the home and at a temple. There is no way that my home, my mother's home or my ILs home could ever accommodate the amount of people that would come to participate in either a bris or a baby naming. And if we were to have children in the winter, that rules out the use of a back yard.

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

I used to work for a Glatt Kosher caterer. A Pidyon Haben is a ceremony that can only be done for the first born child (boy) that child must be born naturally (vaginally). It is quite a long ceremony. I can't think of anything else at the moment, but I am still in touch with a couple of girls I used to work with and one is married to a Rabbi, so if you have any other questions I would be happy to call her and ask her

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

Somewhere online in my searches last night I read that both of the child's parents must be Israelites in order to have a Pidyon Haben. I didn't save the site and I do not know if it is a trusted source. The C-section rule was listed on a lot of sites, and I had heard it before. There is also a rule about if the mother had any miscarriages after 40 days gestation they can't have a Pidyon Haben. I have a feeling that these rules imply that the religion thinks that natural child birth to a mother who has not had a miscarriage is the only "clean" type of birth. If that is so, Or is there some other reason for these rules? So, can someone have one of these and invite me so I can just see what it is about??????????

Message edited 6/3/2007 12:54:27 PM.

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

Kerie I just went to askarabbi.com to ask some other stuff. Its a free site. Maybe they can help. You can choose the affiliation of the rabbi you want to ask. May take a while for them to get back to you.

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

Posted by ssdbk

Somewhere online in my searches last night I read that both of the child's parents must be Israelites in order to have a Pidyon Haben. I didn't save the site and I do not know if it is a trusted source. The C-section rule was listed on a lot of sites, and I had heard it before. There is also a rule about if the mother had any miscarriages after 40 days gestation they can't have a Pidyon Haben. I have a feeling that these rules imply that the religion thinks that natural child birth to a mother who has not had a miscarriage is the only "clean" type of birth. If that is so, Or is there some other reason for these rules? So, can someone have one of these and invite me so I can just see what it is about??????????

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

If you have a bible handy, check out Numbers 18:15-16. It is the biblical source text for pidyon haben at the age of 1 month and up.

As I consult my manuals, this is what I have found:
in very ancient times, the first born son of every israelite family was vested with special responsibilities. from the day of his birth he was consecreated to the vocation of assisting the priest in the conduct of worship.

Later, when a tabernacle was built in the wilderness, this vocation of the first born was transferred to the levites, a priestly tribe.
The torah then decreed that every father release his first born son from the duties incumbent upon all first born sons by redeeming him from a Kohein (or in modern times, a Rabbi or Cantor)

Traditionally, every first born son of an Israelite mother must be redeemed (but not everyone still does a pidyon ha ben for their first born, so if you dont want to, there is no pressure to do so)

if a woman gives birth to a son after a previous pregnancy that was terminated by a miscarriage, the child does not have to be redeemed unless the miscarriage took place w/ in 40 days of conception or if the fetus had not yet developed into human form.
This has to do w/ purity laws.

a child born by c-section does not have to be redeemed b/c there has been no "opening of the womb", if a woman has anormal birth after a c-section, the 2nd son also does not have to be redeemed even though his birth "opened the womb" b/c he is not infact a first born.

the first born of a kohein or a levite is exempt from redemption. the same rule applies to the firstborn of a daughter of a kohein or a levite who is married to an israelite.

the pidyon haben should only take place after the child is a full 30 days old. this means that it takes place on the 31st day after birth. but if the 31st day falls on a sabbath or a festival, the redemption should be postponed to the following day.

the custom is to have the redemption during the day.

since it is often difficult to have an affair during the daytime on a weekday, it is permitted to have the redemption on the preceeding night, on the assumption that in the Jewish calendar, that night is already counted as the 31st day.
the authorites permit this, since, unlike a circumcision which must take place during the day , the holding of a pidyon haben in the day time is merely a custom.

it is customary to use 5 silver dollars for the redemption since silver dollars are considered equivalent to the shekels of the Bible.

whew!
ok, anything else you ladies need my help w/?

Re: Bris question, for Jewish people or anyone who knows........

Posted by evnme

If you have a bible handy, check out Numbers 18:15-16. It is the biblical source text for pidyon haben at the age of 1 month and up.

As I consult my manuals, this is what I have found:
in very ancient times, the first born son of every israelite family was vested with special responsibilities. from the day of his birth he was consecreated to the vocation of assisting the priest in the conduct of worship.

Later, when a tabernacle was built in the wilderness, this vocation of the first born was transferred to the levites, a priestly tribe.
The torah then decreed that every father release his first born son from the duties incumbent upon all first born sons by redeeming him from a Kohein (or in modern times, a Rabbi or Cantor)

Traditionally, every first born son of an Israelite mother must be redeemed (but not everyone still does a pidyon ha ben for their first born, so if you dont want to, there is no pressure to do so)

if a woman gives birth to a son after a previous pregnancy that was terminated by a miscarriage, the child does not have to be redeemed unless the miscarriage took place w/ in 40 days of conception or if the fetus had not yet developed into human form.
This has to do w/ purity laws.

a child born by c-section does not have to be redeemed b/c there has been no "opening of the womb", if a woman has anormal birth after a c-section, the 2nd son also does not have to be redeemed even though his birth "opened the womb" b/c he is not infact a first born.

the first born of a kohein or a levite is exempt from redemption. the same rule applies to the firstborn of a daughter of a kohein or a levite who is married to an israelite.

the pidyon haben should only take place after the child is a full 30 days old. this means that it takes place on the 31st day after birth. but if the 31st day falls on a sabbath or a festival, the redemption should be postponed to the following day.

the custom is to have the redemption during the day.

since it is often difficult to have an affair during the daytime on a weekday, it is permitted to have the redemption on the preceeding night, on the assumption that in the Jewish calendar, that night is already counted as the 31st day.
the authorites permit this, since, unlike a circumcision which must take place during the day , the holding of a pidyon haben in the day time is merely a custom.

it is customary to use 5 silver dollars for the redemption since silver dollars are considered equivalent to the shekels of the Bible.

whew!
ok, anything else you ladies need my help w/?