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Lucky09
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DW
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BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
I am going back to work June 1. DS is 6 weeks old now and is a pretty fussy baby. The pediatrician basically told me that there is nothing I can do for him. He cries for about 3 hours / day and for the most part will only catnap during the day. I think he might be gassy, but he rarely spits up or throws up and when I mentioned this to my pediatrician, he told me not to switch his formula.
Right now I have to hold him and rock him to sleep. Unless he is EXTREMELY tired, he wakes up once we put him down and screams. I don't know what else to do or try. He hates being swaddled, when we have tried to let him CIO a little he just works himself up even more.
Anyway, when I go back to work, DS will be going to daycare 2 days / week. I am just so nervous that they are going to sit him in the swing or crib and let him scream. The ratio is 4:1 at his daycare... The thought of him sitting in the swing for 7 hours crying makes me ill...
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Posted 4/14/09 9:59 PM  |
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CrankyPants
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
Posted by Lucky09
I am going back to work June 1. DS is 6 weeks old now and is a pretty fussy baby. The pediatrician basically told me that there is nothing I can do for him. He cries for about 3 hours / day and for the most part will only catnap during the day. I think he might be gassy, but he rarely spits up or throws up and when I mentioned this to my pediatrician, he told me not to switch his formula.
Right now I have to hold him and rock him to sleep. Unless he is EXTREMELY tired, he wakes up once we put him down and screams. I don't know what else to do or try. He hates being swaddled, when we have tried to let him CIO a little he just works himself up even more.
Anyway, when I go back to work, DS will be going to daycare 2 days / week. I am just so nervous that they are going to sit him in the swing or crib and let him scream. The ratio is 4:1 at his daycare... The thought of him sitting in the swing for 7 hours crying makes me ill...
First  It's so tough to see our little ones struggle.
Second, they will NOT let your DC sit in a swing for hours. They will pick him up and walk and rock an all that stuff. Not only do they want to comfort him for his own sake, but also for the sake of the other kids in the the class-everyone is more at peace when fussy babies are comforted. There may be times when it is unavoidable that he cry-but that happens at home too. I would talk to them about it up front so they know your concerns. I hope it all works out
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| Posted 4/15/09 9:03 AM |
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cjik
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
There is a good chance your baby will be less fussy by June. Many children grow out of this phase. I also found that DS was (and still is) less fussy when he is out of the house and around other people. He's 16 months now, and if he's in a foul mood, it often helps to take him out for a bit.
Plus, as the pp said, the daycare will hold your baby. They won't let him cry too much.
CIO is probably not going to help at his age btw, I think the recommendation is around 5-6 months for this. Before that time, babies really do need to be held and comforted. Not trying to make you feel bad, just wanted to let you know that it probably won't work now.
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| Posted 4/15/09 9:16 AM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
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Jen
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
I worked at a daycare center in the infant rooms for 5 years while i was in college. We NEVER let a baby cry. There were babies that i literally had attached to my hip the ENTIRE day and I never once complained or minded!!!!
Some babies are just tough and the daycare workers will get to know your baby and be fine with it!!!!!
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| Posted 4/15/09 9:17 AM |
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dpli
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Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
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D
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
The PP posters are right about daycare -they shouldn't let the baby cry that long. At our place, I was told that they can't let the babies cry for more than 15 minutes without picking them up. Also, the ratio in the infant room was 4:1, but for much of the day, they had 3 teachers in the room, instead of just the required 2, probably so they had an extra set of hands to deal with fussy babies.
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| Posted 4/15/09 9:20 AM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
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DW
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
Thank you ALL so much for your responses... You have all made me feel a LOT better. I will address this with the daycare up front before he starts. It is a reputable facility and they have video cameras where you can log on and see what your DC is doing throughout the day so I would basically know if they were just letting him sit there and cry.
I just couldn't get past how the daycare teachers would deal with him when they have 3 other babies to take care of... I seriously get NOTHING else done during the day besides entertain/cater to him.
Posted by cjik
CIO is probably not going to help at his age btw, I think the recommendation is around 5-6 months for this. Before that time, babies really do need to be held and comforted. Not trying to make you feel bad, just wanted to let you know that it probably won't work now.
I know CIO won't help him. But I was so sick of DH and MIL telling me to do this that I gave in. MIL keeps telling me that I am "spoiling him" and that he is going to have a harder time in daycare because of me. But honestly, I don't see how I am spoiling him when he is screaming 1/2 the time while I am holding him!
It does help to bring him around other people. When I take him to my Mom's, he is much better for some reason. However, he also HATES his carseat! I took him food shopping yesterday and people were giving me the nastiest "bad-mommy" looks because he was screaming as I went up and down every aisle.
I am just praying that he outgrows this soon. 
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| Posted 4/15/09 9:30 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
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D
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
Posted by Lucky09
However, he also HATES his carseat! I took him food shopping yesterday and people were giving me the nastiest "bad-mommy" looks because he was screaming as I went up and down every aisle.
I am just praying that he outgrows this soon.
It will pass IMO, you aren't spoiling him, you are trying your best to comfort him.
I feel for you with the carseat - my DS was never a fan of the infant seat. I used it because I had to, but I tried to do as little shopping with him as possible when he was that small. He was OK in the car, but as soon as the car stopped, he wanted OUT. I got so tired of people telling me to put him in the car to get him to sleep and then he would stay asleep in the seat, because as soon the car stopped moving, he woke up. He is still like that, but now that he faces forward in the carseat and can see out the windows he likes being in the car a lot more.
Message edited 4/15/2009 9:38:02 AM.
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| Posted 4/15/09 9:37 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
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B
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
Posted by Lucky09
Thank you ALL so much for your responses... You have all made me feel a LOT better. I will address this with the daycare up front before he starts. It is a reputable facility and they have video cameras where you can log on and see what your DC is doing throughout the day so I would basically know if they were just letting him sit there and cry.
I just couldn't get past how the daycare teachers would deal with him when they have 3 other babies to take care of... I seriously get NOTHING else done during the day besides entertain/cater to him.
Posted by cjik
CIO is probably not going to help at his age btw, I think the recommendation is around 5-6 months for this. Before that time, babies really do need to be held and comforted. Not trying to make you feel bad, just wanted to let you know that it probably won't work now.
I know CIO won't help him. But I was so sick of DH and MIL telling me to do this that I gave in. MIL keeps telling me that I am "spoiling him" and that he is going to have a harder time in daycare because of me. But honestly, I don't see how I am spoiling him when he is screaming 1/2 the time while I am holding him!
It does help to bring him around other people. When I take him to my Mom's, he is much better for some reason. However, he also HATES his carseat! I took him food shopping yesterday and people were giving me the nastiest "bad-mommy" looks because he was screaming as I went up and down every aisle.
I am just praying that he outgrows this soon.
Don't listen to your MIL. You CANNOT spoil a newborn. You're tending to his needs by picking him up when he cries and you're establishing trust.
DS wanted to be held 24/7 for the first several months. My parents told me that I was spoiling him and that daycare wouldn't hold him all the time.  He still wants to be held a lot, but he became more independent and less fussy at around 3 months.
I went back to work when DS was 3.5 months old and he has been doing great at daycare. They have a bunch of things like swings, bouncers, etc to keep him occupied if the teachers have to feed/change other babies, but he doesn't sit in them for hours. Will your daycare allow you to visit before you start? I spent a few hours there with DS a couple of times before I went back to work. It made me feel even more comfortable about leaving him in their care.
ETA: Do you have a sling or baby carrier? You may want to try using that when you're out shopping. I always bring mine with me b/c sometimes DS doesn't want to sit in the car seat/snap n go and would rather be in the Baby Bjorn looking around.
Message edited 4/15/2009 10:05:41 AM.
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| Posted 4/15/09 10:03 AM |
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lovemy2boys
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Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
I don't really have any advice, but I feel your pain. DS was such a crier that I was scared to put him in Daycare, my MIL watches him FT and he drives her bonkers 
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| Posted 4/15/09 10:48 PM |
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LadyH
April Baby Girl is Here!
Member since 12/07 1077 total posts
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Re: BTDT Moms - Fussy baby going to daycare?
I was afraid of the same thing. The first 2 days were bad - you could tell that he was crying a more that usual, but he was not sure where he was. It wasn't because he was left to cry, he is just a fussy baby - who was REALLY used to getting what he wanted.
After those 2 days though, he loves going to day care - and I see much growth in him.
I also stop in for lunch often, and none of the babies are crying. I really like my day care place.
Its harder on you than it is on him.
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| Posted 4/15/09 11:28 PM |
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