Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

DS is currently in EI for the summer program at his school. He will be 3 in August and is non verbal ASD. He is very much about routine. I had been driving him all year but asked for a bus to take him to/from school for the summer, because I thought it may be easier this way then schlepping my newborn out of the house to drive him... well today was his first day getting the bus and it was an absolute disaster.. once the bus pulled to the house, up he ran away, I had to pick him up and he was clawing everything he could to not get on the bus... he was screaming, kicking and crying. The matron on the bus sort of just stood there, pointing to the seat where she wanted me to put him down, saying 'it's ok, it's ok" not really helping me out at all. Finally I said "Forget it i'll just drive him" and took him to school. The bus driver said he will come again tomorrow and we will try again... DH got home from work as the bus was leaving and was mad at me for "giving in" but physically I could not do it. I also had a c-section and although i'm a lot better than when I first got it done I did feel some pulling when I tried to get DS to go on the bus/into his seat. DH also mentioned that now is the time to get DS used to the bus because he needs the bus in the Fall especially for when I have to go back to work from my maternity leave....

DS is supposed to be bused this afternoon from school as well and I notified DS' teacher what happened this morning and she said she will let me know whether they got him onto the bus or if I have to go pick him up if he is uncooperative...

Anyway if you got this far... if your LO was resistant to the bus at first, how long did it take for them to adjust? I'm dreading tomorrow morning...

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

IMO, consistency is key. First of all, the matron needs to help. The matron takes my kids from me (I do not get on the bus) and buckles them in. It might be making it worse that you go on. I hand them off say I love you and I'll see you later. He will cry a lot in the beginning (I used to run in the house crying after they left), but he will learn that this part of going to school,

Summer session started last week and they cried about a week. Each day a little less. No crying this week, although one of my kids whined that he doesn't want to go on the bus and wants to stay with mommy.

Now, they know when the bus comes they have to get on it. There are usually a few kids crying although no one cried today. The first couple days there were some real screamers on the bus which only upset my kids even more, but I told them I loved them and they have to go to school.

I would tell the school they have to get him on the bus to come home. If not, he will figure out if he puts up a fuss, mommy comes get him (which you won't always be able to).

Hang in there

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

It got better. Mine started going on the bus at daycare because he started in an afternoon class, but then when he started full day, I put him on at home in the morning. I never drove him if the bus was there. Ever. Once you give in, they know there's a chance you will again and they will fight harder the next time. If it's tough with your C-section recovery, have your DH or someone else help you until it gets easier if you can.

We've been dealing with the bus for 5 years now. Some matrons are better than others. It's ideal if you don't get on the bus at all, and technically, I don't think you are supposed to. I had one matron who was literally useless, so I had to get on the bus for the first week or two at the beginning of the new school year or if he was having a particularly tough day. She did not last very long. It got ugly a few times, hitting, scratching, etc. I just picked him up, put him in the seat and buckled it with him flailing. Stay strong and make him get on the bus. I know it's tough, but you don't want to still be struggling with this when you are dealing with getting your infant to daycare and getting to work yourself. I didn't have a choice, I couldn't take time off from work everyday to drive him to school.

They almost never had trouble getting my DS on the bus at school or daycare. He didn't want to leave ME, it wasn't that he didn't want to go on the bus.

Husbands often have lots of opinions on how things should be done, when they are not the ones actually doing them

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Thank you both- it's funny bc the bus driver said "you can come up with him into the bus" and the matron never came out. I'm going to ask her for help tomorrow.. If it's the same thing tomorrow, do I complain to the bus company about her? . I know I shouldn't give in... Ugh wish me luck lol

Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

I would call if she's no help at all. I didn't myself, because as long as I could get him on the bus myself, I didn't want to make waves. You just had a baby, you need help and that's her job, so in your situation, I might call if it doesn't get better.

Also, talk to the teacher, maybe he can earn something once he gets to school for getting on the bus nicely. My DH still earns something for getting off the bus at school and walking to the classroom without a big production.

Message edited 7/14/2015 3:05:40 PM.

Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

I agree with the PP. I will add that it helped if I let DS bring a toy or something on the bus to comfort him. After breaks I let him take an old leappad 1 (it was my older DS's) and that would calm him down and distract him. I alway make sure it's something I wouldn't be upset about if it doesn't make it home. (we have a newer leappad now)

I will say that aside from one matron and driver, the staff has been excellent thaey make sure that the toy or whatever goes into his book bag before he got off the bus.

It does get better. But if they know that you will cave they will continue to cry. I find that it was rough after a break due to the holidays.

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Maybe you can say something to the driver/matron like I just had a c-section so my dr really doesn't want me lifting him into his seat (or something like that)?

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

So today the matron helped me at least even though it was still a struggle. Going to be a long few weeks!

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Have you done any social stories with him? Is there a favorite toy he can bring on the bus? Can you give a reward when he gets to school if he does well and one when you get home? DD was awful on the bus and it took alot of planning and talking about it with her. The matrons are not really going to be that much help as they are just there for safety reasons. They should not be leaving the bus to help you get your son on as they will be leaving the other kids alone on the bus which is most likely against their IEPs.

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

This past school year we had a lot of problems getting DS on the bus. After talking to the school, we developed a reward system with the bus driver. He was given a "ticket" and everyday the bus driver gave him a sticker for getting on the bus. Took a bit of time, but it worked. By the end of the school year he was getting on the bus no problem. The summer driver is not doing it and all we have is issues. Maybe something like that would work for you DS.

Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Just looking for an update. Hope it's getting easier.

Re: Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Bus disaster this morning.. please tell me it gets better!

Happy to hear! I'm hoping that it will get even easier as time goes on.