C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

So, I found out last week that I need to have another c-section. While at first I was ok with it, the more I think about it, the more upset I get.

Yes, I want another healthy baby. That is really all that matters. But I had such a rough labor and delivery last time, that I want the whole experience, you know?

I think what bothers me the most is that I never thought I would have to have another c/s. It never occured to me that I couldn't deliver naturally.

However, my dr does not recommend it and that is who I lsten to, in the end.

Anyone else been here and how do you deal with it?

Thanks

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

I was in the same boat. I had an emergency C/S for DD and a planned C/S for DS.

I kinda felt like I was missing out on the whole "time to go to the hospital" routine, but in the end it was much easier knowing when I was going to have the baby to adjust DD's schedule.

My doc was opposed to a VBAC even though I asked. On one hand, I do hear it is safer to have the 2nd C/s, on the other hand, I think all doctors would "schedule" births if they could.

(did that answer any questions you had? )

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

Well, for me, after laboring naturally for 17 hours, having it end in a c/s the 1st time was beyond devistating for me.

However...with that being said... I know my body isn't going to allow me to deliver the way I want regardless of how many times I try or how bad I want to. It's going to impossible.

I can't be sad. I can't be angry, it is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it. I've surrendered the thought of delivering vaginally and am really OK with having another c/s.

If the circumstances were different and there aren't the issues there are, then I would be exploring my other options, VBAC, etc...and discussing it further with my OB.

But, like I said, it's not happening. I'm happy that everything went great the 1st time I had a c/s and know that the 2nd time around will be a lot better and easier.

I'm sorry you have these feelings, but it's completely normal. We start to beat ourselves up thinking we're not as "womanly" since we didn't deliver vaginally...or we're missing out on something. But we're not In the end, every woman gets their little bundle of joy and no matter what means we go through to get there...THAT is the ultimate experience (try to remember that )

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

Thank you, yes, I totally get what you are both saying.

What I am struggling with is the fact that I won't have that "push, push" moment. And while it bothers me, I'm not sad or angry, just bothered, you know.

Thanks again.

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

I think it is ok to be sad and angry as I feel it is a feeling of "loss" ....

With my first I had an emergency c/s after 13 hours of hard labor and I was devestated afterwards. I did feel a great sense of loss. It has weakened now 2 yrs later but I will always feel that loss.

Him being healthy and happy and all going well in the end is MORE important and what I focus on, but again, the loss of what I wanted ( a natural delivery) will never leave. I just choose to not think about it.

This time around, I again have no choice...I cannot deliver naturally...and while I am still sad, jealous of those who can and once again feel a sense of loss, it is less this time..since I just know theres no option.

In time it will all fade....having healthy babies is the priority for us all.

But your not alone in how you feel, not at all.

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

I sometimes have the same feelings. With DD I was having contractions but my body wasn't responding to them...I wasn't dilating, I wasn't effaced and she did not even drop into the birth canal. So we opted for a c-section since we discussed it with my OB and we both felt it was the best decision.

This time around I have a new OB. He asked me what I would like to do. He is not opposed to VBACs, but wanted to discuss everything with me. After discussing it and really knowing deep down that I'll prob end up with another c-section even if I tried to go into labor on my own, I decided on a repeat c-section.

I have moments where I flounder and think maybe I'll try the VBAC but then my mind steps in and I realize me having a baby vaginally is most likely never going to happen. Most days I'm ok with it...there are some days I still have doubts.

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

I am only 9 weeks and change, but there are days when I think wow, never have to go through labor again.

Then there are days when I think, why can't I go through it? And I think of my c-section recovery and think OOFFF, I have to go through that again??!!

In the long run, I know it is what is best for both this baby and myself, so that is what I tell myself. It's just frustrating.

Thanks again all, my DH does not understand why I feel this way.

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

My 2 kids were both C's, while I got to experience labor with #1 I have to say I dont envy anyone who had their baby vaginally. Sure the recovery is a lot better than a c, but whatever my Dr thinks is best is what I'm going to do. Its inevitable that this pregnancy is going to end up with another C, but at least I can get my self in order, have child care ready etc.

The main thing: Doesnt matter HOW they get here, just that they get here

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

I just wanted to share that I had an emergency c/s after a long and horrific labor, I had to be put totally under. I was so sad I missed the Whole, "Its a Boy or Its a Girl" moment after 9 long months of not knowing. Everyone knew what I had before I did and I was ANGRY and sad. I had a VERY hard recovery as well. So when I knew for sure I had to have a repeat c/s with #2, I was scared. Well To my surprise, my recovery with #2 was a cake walk! I do not know if it was because there was no labor or what, but I felt pretty awesome! I hope the same for all of you girls!

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

Posted by dm24angel

I think it is ok to be sad and angry as I feel it is a feeling of "loss" ....

With my first I had an emergency c/s after 13 hours of hard labor and I was devestated afterwards. I did feel a great sense of loss. It has weakened now 2 yrs later but I will always feel that loss.

Him being healthy and happy and all going well in the end is MORE important and what I focus on, but again, the loss of what I wanted ( a natural delivery) will never leave. I just choose to not think about it.

This time around, I again have no choice...I cannot deliver naturally...and while I am still sad, jealous of those who can and once again feel a sense of loss, it is less this time..since I just know theres no option.

In time it will all fade....having healthy babies is the priority for us all.

But your not alone in how you feel, not at all.

Re: C-section and repeat c-sections moms....

I am scheduled for a repeat c/s in 3 weeks. My obgyn said that since I am untested it could go either way. DS was a footling breech. My water broke and I even made it to 10 cm dialated, however, b/c of his position I never pushed instead I was given an emergency c/s. My obgyn was not there either - I had the on call obgyn, This time DD is still flipping around - she goes from head down to breech daily at 36 weeks. I can feel her flipping.

Part of me feels badly that I have scheduled a repeat c/s but the other part of me feels like it is the right thing to do when I factor in the risks. As for what you want to do, I would look at the ican website. Since you are early on in your PG perhaps you want to get a second opinion on whether or not you are favorable for a vbac.